| 04.10.05 What the hell did I do? Why the hell did I do it? I want to take it all back. I don't want to be so afraid of getting hurt that I quite possibly threw away the best thing I've ever had and might ever have. I can't take it all back. All that hurt. All that pain. I didn't want to break her heart. I didn't want to push her away. I want her to wait for me. I can pretty much promise that I'll be 100% sure about us within a couple weeks, not a couple months. But maybe she's gone forever. Maybe I fucked up for good. I should give her everything. Maybe she won't give up and will fight for this. Tell me that she loves me. That we belong together. That she wants to spend the rest of her life with me. That we're soul mates. And maybe she won't. Maybe I'll never see her again. I had what I wanted and I pushed it away. Cuz I'm an idiot. Cuz I'm an asshole. Cuz I love her more than I know what to do with. God, I hope she'll be mine again. I'd give anything to change what I've done. | ||