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Your wife packs a condom in your lunch bag.
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When your wife says, "We had sex last month, Pervert!"
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When you hear, "Oh Bill, hurt me, baby!" and your name is Dave.
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When your wife's closest girl friend rides a Harley and subscribes to "Succulent
Kitten" Magazine.
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When your toy poodle starts to growl every time you hug your wife.
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When your Pit Bull stops barking at the mailman.
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When you call for the phone company and the repairman skids to a stop in
front of your house 3 minutes later.
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When the pizza man shows up with a hard on.
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When the gardener demands to know what you're doing home on a Tuesday.
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When your kids starts calling the butcher uncle Wolfgang.
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When your wife's "back massager" feels like real skin, and has protruding
veins on it.
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When your wife tries to explain away her frequent headaches by telling
you it's brain cancer.
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When you wake up to find your wife standing over you with a pair of heavy-duty
hedge clippers.
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When you're invited to attend "What a bummer!" day on the Rickie Lake Show.
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