I was born a poor Ghetto Wizard. I was found on my parents' doorstep with nothing but a pointy hat, a wand and a big mouth. That's right. That means I was naked. Oh, come on, you were naked when your parents found you too!! All of my parents friends, acquaintences, and even hated enemies came to see the baby...and that's when I knew that people would come to see me, even if I was doing nothing but drooling. (so look for that at your next show)
At an early age I acquired a penchant for jumping off stuff and endangering my own safety. Cars drove slowly down my street because who knows when I would be landing from atop the power lines. I credit those power lines for the unique personality that I posess today.
As I got older, I played amateur sports, primarily hockey, where crowds would gather to see me. I bet you can't dance on hockey skates. Also, as I got older, I got more sexual...VERY sexual, thus attracting even more people to come to see me.
In College, I met a young woman who spontaneously burst into flames in the middle of class. She was born anew from her own ashes and I felt this was an individual that I need to meet. Yeah, you thought it was just her name. IDIOTS! Now you know and knowing is half the battle. Anywho, we became friends and shared our love competetive parrallel parking and wrestling. By the flip of a coin, we decided to pursue wrestling. The Elmira Enforcers traveled to the home of USWF and were soon training with the All Knighters at the USWF training facility, better known as the attic of a YMCA in Medina New York. It was cold and battered but people came to see me there too.
Our training completed just as the ring was falling apart beneath us. I began my career in Pennsylvania, moving to Toronto, to Boston, back to Pennsylvania, Then to Toronto again, then...I guess you get the idea. Then I went to England, wrestling with and against some of the best performers in Europe. People came to see me there too. I returned with a newfound appreciation for meat that didn't make me physically ill. (ya know, not taking a shot at England or anything) I now continue on with my career across the US and Canada where fans of all ages, genders, creeds, and video game proficiency continue to come to see me and my endless array of hairstyles. |
