In the second instalment of Queen Caroline from Planet G String, we travel on a journey of giant proportions, to a place where no one has ever been, to the place where you can wear your very own G String backwards!!
Our journey begins in outer space where 2 stars are about to collide with each other to create a big SMASH!! KABOOM!! Which reverbrated off the inner walls of Planet X. It created� Dum, Dum, Dum�. Planet G String. The Planet-x-tarians looked to the sky and saw a giant round piece of Swiss cheese, otherwise known as �dum, dum, dum, PLANET G STRING. The only place where your backwards G String smells like cheese. But it wasn�t just one type of cheese, it was whatever cheese you were thinking about, it would smell like it. Parmesan, Swiss, Blue Vein, Brie, Goat, Cow, Rat and Chicken, any kind you could imagine.
�What Tha??� Said Kerin, �Lynda, go up there and see if you can see what�s causing that cheesy smell. It smells just like grated Parmesan. Just what I was thinking about eating�
�Kerin, Kerin! What the hell was that?� said Alison.
� I don�t know, but it smells cheesy. I�ve sent Lynda up to have a look� Kerin replied.
Meanwhile, on Planet G String, A smelly, cheesy baby was being born in a pod. Her name was Caroline. When she was older she was to be the Queen of Planet G String and marry King Luke from Planet Full Brief. Planet Full Brief was many, many, miles away from Planet G String. But the wafty smell of eggs was distinguishable even on a planet that smelt like cheese.
Meanwhile, in the cheesy atmosphere of Planet G String, Lynda was investigating the new planet. She landed on the ground. It was soft and bouncy� like cheese, and it was yellow� like cheese, and it smelt� like cheese.
�Aarrgghhg� she screamed, �This whole planet is made from cheese�
�Mmm�cheesy...� said the throaty voice of a small baby covered in pod goo.
�Aarrgghhg� Lynda screamed again.
She knocked the baby over the head and made a net out of cheese sticks. She trapped it inside the net and turned on her jet pack and zoomed off to Planet X with the pod baby in tow.
� Why the F!#$ did you bring that back?� screamed Alison.
�I don�t know� said Lynda � Maybe we should adopt it out onto Planet Earth�
�But there could be more of them down there� Kerin said.
�Aarrgghhg� screamed Lynda �MORE????!!!�
�Sure! Maybe we should send a group down to explore the planet,� said Alison.
�And maybe we should put Lynda in therapy�� said Kerin.
� Good Idea! Guards! Take Lynda to her room and call for a therapist� said Alison, �Kerin, I think we should assemble some troops�
But before they could, one of the guards who had taken Lynda said �Can I paint her yoo hoo gold??� And he tore off his pants and nut huggers and jumped on the laser�
�You idiot!!� screamed Kerin, �I�ve told you before, the �Laser� is not a sex toy. Here! Go and Play with this baby we found�
� F.R.I.C.K.I.N. I.D.I.O.T� someone standing nearby chanted.
�Ha-Ha� (nelson style laugh)
Meanwhile, on a sub deep in space a very, very, ugly monster was wondering if his cheese planet had been created yet.
�Dr Evil had a sub� (We�re meant to be in space not the sea. Idiot! Sorry kids one of the narrators is in an Austin Powers mood. I�ll try not to let it happen again)� Filled with frickin idiots��
�I wonder if my cheese planet is ready yet?� wondered the Monster, �And if these frickin idiots are off my sub� and if I was to be CHEESY!! I � ARRGHG! Can we please get back to the story? Would be very happy. Ok now we can get back to the story. Back on Planet X, Preparation H was being� Prepared. The guards were getting ready to take the pod baby to� dum, dum, dum� Planet Earth. The spaceship was being loaded. When they landed on Planet Earth they went to a tree to pee, And continued on to realise there was a �dum, dum, dum�. Toilet block� with a �dum, dum, dum� condom machine. They stocked up and proceeded to find a pub where they asked a man if he wanted to buy a girl. The man said:
�How much for the girl?�
�2,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000.000 Earth dollars�
�SOLD� The man stuck a finger up at Caroline and said:
�You�ll make me happy like a pig in a pile of mud�
Caroline said:
�I don�t want to be a pie, I don�t like gravy�
�You�re going to be my love slave with webbed feet.�
He attached Caroline to a leash and accidentally locked her in the toilet on a rocket he was looking around on a tour�(authors note: What the hell Alison????). The rocket then blasted off and Caroline was flung into the emptiness of space through the septic tank� She smelt cheese and drifted towards it. Three years later she was picked up by the monster and told him her story. They were to be married. They landed on Planet G String. They were finally home and ready to take revenge on Planet X�.
The End
