Written By Kerin Edwards and with our Guest Author, Kyla Sheriff
Planet G String with the evil Queen Caroline. One day the seal farted and
Caroline got blown away to...dum, dum, dum The Planet Of The Forgotten Mud People. The Forgotten Mud People were the oldest civilisation in the universe, except they believed in performing sacred torture rituals (so Caroline was doomed), where they would tie up their prisoner, attach tittie tassles and perform nipple cripples. Meanwhile, on Planet G String, Atom had found a new queen named Holly. She was the evilest queen ever (and that�s sayin something). Ever since she had squirmed her way into being queen, the locals believed that she was a witch who had Atom under a spell. Her one mission in life was to destroy the world of men! Except James, her sex slave who was a robot created by her. The Planet Mars (men are from Mars) was not happy about her plans to exterminate men.
So Araborn, the King of Fondor, summoned an army of blood sucking penis head robots to aid him in his quest. Meanwhile, on Planet X, Ally and Keza were concerned about Araborn�s
army, there just weren�t enough penis head robots. It was a hot day and Ally and Keza had just created the perfect men (orlando bloom look-a-likes). �Hey Ally, why don�t we go and enjoy the company of these fine young men?� said Keza, winking. But Ally had just received an urgent message from Planet Troy. �Queen Holly - Has Invaded� said Ally. �Jimminy Jillickers Radioactive man!� said Keza, �We must light the beacons of Fungula! We must aid Fondor!�
�Yes, lets get into our new spaceship with built-in Golden Saiya Clips for extra long ...dum, dum, dum Death Ray power!� said Ally And they took off to seek counsel with Gaydalf, The White Wizard.
Meanwhile, Kyla, Princess of The Mud People was watching Caroline squirm under pressure. The tittie tassels had been applied and the torture was under way. �NOOOOOOOOOOO!� cried Caroline, �STOP!�
�Muahahahahaha! I will never stop!� cried Kyla. When suddenly, Harry Potter came zooming in to save Caroline, but was entranced by Kyla�s beauty. �You shall be my servant forever!� said Kyla to Harry Potter, �You shall not take the shunned�
�No!� screamed Harry, �NEVER! but I no longer feel the need to catch the snitch, Caroline has it, but Planet X and Fondor, must do it for me! I cannot. Voldemort has come to power for the third time and I am responsible for finding the ultimate weapon, I have no clue what it looks like, do you?�
�Yes, my friend, Kim is the weapon� said Kyla.
�We must get the Kim and destroy the evil ones...� said Harry, �TO SORDOR TO GET THE KIM�
They all jumped on Harry�s Firebolt and flew to Sordor. Leaving Caroline behind to be tortured by Uruk-Hai. Meanwhile, Ally and Keza had reached Fondor, after seeing Gaydalf. �Oh mighty King� said Ally, bowing, �We bring word from Elrow of Riverdell..�
�Where�s Legolas?� interrupted Keza.
�He�s inside having a bath, I can�t believe he hasn�t had one in quite a few hundred years� said Araborn. �Does he need any assistance?� asked Keza.
�Why yes, could you help wash his hair?� said Araborn.
�Certainly� said Keza, with a wink to Ally, �Where is he?�
�He�s in the Chamber of Mirrors� said Araborn, �This way...� Keza followed King Araborn to The Chamber of Mirrors and went inside. No-one knows what happened in there, but there was a lot of giggling, sloshing of water and bubbles seeping out from under the door. When King Araborn returned Gaydalf gave him counsel about their next move.
But meanwhile on Planet Of The Forgotten, Queen Caroline had been rescued by ...dum, dum, dum Lord Voldemort and they got into the dildo shaped spaceship towards Planet G String.
�Oh Voldy, where have you been all my life?�
�Umm...stuck on people�s asses and heads� said Voldy.
�Yeeessss....� said Caroline, �Where are we goin? You need people of intelligence on this mission... quest... thing�
�You sayin I�m a dumb mullet?� said Voldy.
�No� said Caroline, �I just thought that if you had been stuck to asses most of your life, you wouldn�t have a brain�
FINALLY, Ally and her army and Araborn and his army had arrived at the spot where Holly was.
�We come to destroy you!� shouted Ally and she blitzed them all with her supercharged Death Ray, which didn�t seem to kill Holly as she isn�t important enough to die... yet. At that moment, Caroline came in on the dildo ship with Voldy, I mean Lord Mouldy Shorts. There was a big bitch fight between Holly and Caroline over who was the biggest queen. �Hey!� shouted Caroline halfway through, �Where�s Keza?�
�She�s with Legolas at Fondor� said Ally.
�Oh....� said Caroline, �I wondered...�
Just then, Harry and Kyla came zooming up on the Firebolt with Kim �that secret weapon� which was the only thing that could destroy Caroline and Holly. When Kyla glanced at Holly, who just happened to have a huge wart onher pug faced flat face, she noticed that Holly was staring at Caroline with a very eager look... Caroline stared back (It was almost love at first sight). Then Holly shook off that weird feeling inside and started throwing punches at Caroline. Caroline hit her back and knocked Holly for a sixer. �DO IT KIM!� shouted Harry. �....Tiny salmon chasing that impossible dream. The �something or other� bird says..... CACAW, CACAW!� sang Kim. Meanwhile, Caroline and Holly had stopped fighting and were covering their ears as they both dissolved into dust. Finally destroying them both forever. Everyone cheered... It was the best victory ever, there was still the matter
of Holly�s illegitimate child, back on Planet G String, named (dum, dum, dum) Ellice.
�The Ellice must be destroyed!� shouted Legolas.
�Oh� said Ally, �Nice of you to grace us with your presence� as Keza blushed and hid behind Legolas. �Um, sorry got kinda held up back there� mumbled Keza.
�I will go to Planet G String� said Frogo, the tiny hobbit from the shirt,
"Though I do not know the way�
�Here take this ring, It will destroy Ellice� said Gaydalf.
�We will join you� said Ally and Araborn, who had found love in each other,
�lets go� So Harry, Kyla, Gaydalf, Keza, Legolas, Frogo, Voldy and Kim all got on Harry�s Firebolt and flew to Planet G String. It was a fast trip getting there thanks to the Firebolt, but along the way they sadly lost Voldemort. I wonder who did that? �Not me..� said Legolas. When they all looked sceptically at him he replied with: �He was makin moves on my biatch�
�Cast the ring into the fiery vagina from whence it came� said Gaydalf when they arrived. Frogo did so and Ellice was destroyed! Everyone cheered and there was celebration forever.
Oh and by the way, I would like to announce the engagement of Keza andLegolas, Ally and Araborn and Kyla and Harry. Oh and the ghosts of Caroline and Holly.
