Accepting Death

Swirling mists of grey and black flew around her body as a gust of warm, musty air blew into her face, flicking her black hair over her shoulders. A light shone in the darkness and then it became brighter and brighter until it dimmed down to darkness. Chem looked around and saw nothing, no cat, no tree; she couldn't even see the ground under her paws. She tried to roar or even scream out for help but even though her jaw opened, no sound escaped her dry, trembling lips. 'I want to get out,' she screamed in her head, 'I don't want to be trapped here forever.' She began to run but she seemed to be getting no where and her paws moved as if they were in slow motion. 'Help,' she thought, 'Someone?'

"Chem!" a voice called calmly out to her.

'Yes?' she thought her paws still moving of their own accord.

"Chem?" The light brightened and she shut her eyes as a loud buzzing sound rang in her ears. "Chem!"

Chem awoke in the arms of her mother Ali'b who was fondling her cubs hair lovingly between her claws. Her head was sweaty and her legs felt weak and limp. Her breathing was continuous short, quick bursts and gasps but she still managed to retain consciousness while her mother picked her up in her mouth and carried her over the sand. Through blurred and squinting eyes, Chem could see figures in the sand, all of them lying and turning their heads to watch. 'What's wrong with me,' she thought in her head, expecting an answer from the darkening shapes. Looking about she realised she had been put down on a rough, stone but she couldn't feel it, her senses weren't working and she fell off the rock but felt no pain as she landed on the dusty floor. She couldn't feel anything, she could hardly see, she couldn't stand up, she heard nothing and her mouth was dry and her lips cracked. She could just make out her mother talking to what she though was Linka. He came up to her and lifted her into his arms. Suddenly a horrible liquid was squeezed into her mouth and her eyes began to focus and her ears seemed to open.

"Chem?" Linka said fondling the cub, "can you hear me?" She looked up and saw tears in both the grown ups eyes.

"Daddy!" she said gruffly, as her throat was extremely sore. Her mother turned her head and her shoulders were shaking. "Where's daddy?" she asked Linka, "Are you helping him too?" The old cat didn't reply but placed her on the ground and told her to walk around for a bit so he could see that she hadn't broken anything. She did so in a small circle twice and then returned to her mother who was crying but trying hard not to.

"Oh, Chem!" she sobbed and brought her cub into her arms. Linka left the two to cuddle while he walked off to tell the others Chem was thankfully, okay.

"Your daddy has gone somewhere for a little while, Chem," Ali'b said softly to her cub, who's eyes were streaming with salty tears.

"Don't gimme that," she replied wiping her tears on her mothers stomach fur, "I know he's okay, he's gonna be fine. He didn't die; he hasn't gone up to the skies with Lyall! I know he hasn't! Dad don't give in that easily!"

"Chem, I…I…don't think that…"

"He has made it mum, he'll come back soon all wet and tired, you'll see and he'll have that big grin he always has, on his face." Her mother just walked away while Cib comforted her. Chem was left on her own but not for long because she could see a rather upset Kar walk up to her.

"Alright, now are we?" he said trying to sound cheerful. The cub shook her head and fell into Kar's arms sobbing. Kar hated to see Chem this way as it also made him even more upset and it was not natural Chem being upset like this. He began to wash the cub, who was very dirty from mud, river water and dry sand not to mention the foul smell of sweat. When he had finished, he sniffed and wiped the tears from the corner of his eyes.

"Come on," he sniffed, "I want you to see somebody." He led her over the other side of their camp and she received many cuddles and hugs on the way from various cats she didn't know but all of them looked equally sad. 'Idiots," she thought, 'he isn't dead! Why are you acting like this?'

"Kar," she said as she was walking next to him.

"Yeah?" he replied trying desperately to smile at the young cub.

"Dad's going to be okay, isn't he?" Kar stopped almost with shock and then the realisation hit him. Chem didn't want to believe her father was dead and neither did he,

"He'll be fine," he said shakily, "A big fella like that…" His words trailed off but the cub seemed satisfied with the reply. They finally came to their destination to see that Linka and Adrick were also there, their bodies working over something. She walked over to have a closer look of what they were doing when suddenly she realised that they were actually tending to someone.

"Dracon?" she said quietly looking at the sprawled out figure of the young cat. She wasn't sure whether it was him and hoped that it really wasn't. The creature before her looked dead, like a carcass. His black and white striped fur had been torn and ripped revealing his shiny flesh which had been infected by grit and mud making the blood which was seeping from his wounds, an unhealthy brownish colour. The hairs on the end of his tail had been ripped cleanly off to leave a stub and one of his back legs looked deformed and broken. What was really disgusting and stomach churning was the cat's once handsome face. His left eye had been completely slashed, with one clean streak of blood to prove it, and half his lip had been torn away to leave the cold, hard teeth staring up at the sky. The skin near the bottom of his jaw had been completely ripped away to reveal the dirty white bone. She gasped and looked at Adrick who was spreading certain herbs over her friend's wounds.

"Is he…" she began.

"He's… " For a second she though Linka was going to reply with something else and sighed when she heard what he was actually saying, "he's fine!"

"Don't look fine," she mumbled ungratefully.

"Well he's breathing, that's one thing," Adrick said cleaning his paws as he tied the last herbs on Dracon's leg and tied them on with yet another headband which he seemed to keep producing, even though his own stayed firmly tied behind his ears.

"Can he hear me?" Linka shook his head but then said,

"He now needs lots of rest, like you did, so we best leave him alone." She nodded and moved away. Was Dracon in the same strange dream she was in before?

Raga sighed as he flew over the rocky cliffs and returned to the place he had saved Chem…but not saved Antok. His wings were sturdy and big, with a small claw on the end of the joints. The flap of skin spread between was thin and slightly translucent. They were a bright red colour, almost matching the colour of his fur, and up against the Sun's hot rays they seemed to burn white but caused no pain for Raga.

When he had watch Antok tumble into Invido to save his daughter's life, Raga's pendant had instantly began to glow but he had been so intent on watching the cats in the river, he had hardly noticed it. When he began to feel his spine tingle, however, he knew something was wrong and looking at his pendant saw it was glowing red, burning his fur as if the metal had been in an oven. It was then that he had experienced immense pain, as his spine seemed to twist and deform as the pendant let out a final glow. The next thing he knew he was flying through the air with a set of strong, sturdy wings.

At the time it felt great but now he felt awful. Maybe he should have gone for Antok instead of Chem. The cub would have held on in time for him to come back to her. He sighed and followed the river further.

"Why wont you go?" he said talking to his wings, "Why must you bring back the terrible memories to me?" Swooping down he glided over the river's calm surface, dodging the occasional log floating aimlessly here and there. The tips of his wings created rivulets in the shinning water, which was so calm, he swore the stormy currents of last night were just a dream. He flapped about in the air as he came to rest on an old log nearby and Raga was slowly moved along with the current by a calming wind.

Looking down at the log he sighed, 'This could be the one that struck Antok.' Shaking the thoughts out of his head he decided to think of something else. All the misery was depressing him. He looked to his right and suddenly realised that the cliffs were behind him now and the river had opened out to a sort of jungle which was spread either side of the trailing river, as far as he could see. It looked like a shady place to rest out of the Sun's heat, so he flew over to one of the muddy banks and lay down watching the log he had sat upon drift further until it was out of sight behind some huge trees.

His environment was sticky and damp but still hot. Various trees were clumped together in patches, their roots covered with smaller plants and leafy shrubs. Frogs and crickets seemed to be calling from everywhere each one answering each other's call in a new tone of voice or chirp. The Sun shone through small gaps in the canopy, sending light onto the leafy floor where small pig type creatures were rummaging around for grubs and beetles. Loosing interest in the river and the trees he closed his eyes and clawed the floor angrily. The muddy bank squelched between the gaps in his claws, preventing himself from retracting them. He spent a further ten minutes digging the sloppy goo out and decided that it was too messy here. Walking off into the trees, he noticed his paw prints in the mud.

"Wow," he said unenthusiastically as he placed his paw in a nearby one, "I have grown." Looking away he screwed his eyes up and said, "I'm grown up enough now, I should have been able to save both of them." He walked off into the trees sobbing softly to himself but returned again when he realised that he must have looked wrong at the print. Placing his paw back in, he realised that the print was far too big for his small paw. Thinking it was one of his back feet he turned around and placed one of those in but that was even worse as the print seemed twice as huge.

"What?" he said and made off into the jungle. He thought that the possibilities of another cat being here were few but then again, there were many places the Keyra had yet to discover.

The shape-shifting world was a strange and scary place. Time warps, worm holes, voids, mineculatorative cat configuration, place swaps, land melds and the rules that prevented you from doing damage to the planet. Well, not too much damage anyway. Invido had known this world for a very, very long time. She was born into it and travelled the endless expanses to get to unreachable destinations that any grown cat would love to see and explore. The world was practically hers, she could go any place, any time, anywhere.

Muttering some words into the starry darkness she suddenly flashed before Balmor. His surprised face almost made her laugh but she carried on to advance in the air.

"Ah," he said leaving the carcass of a poor, bloody deer. "You have returned."

"Your wish has been granted," she boomed as her back legs began to become visible.

"Good," he grunted and turned back to his dinner. Invido flew down to join him and resting her paws on the earth, she watched the beast chew at the meat ravenously. "Wha…ya….mmm…want?" he asked still stuffing his face at the same time.

"I lost a considerable amount of energy in that battle," she replied, "You never said there would be another cat." He looked up into her red eyes and quickly looked away. Hearing no response she patiently carried on, "I made contact with the water, my fire abilities are ruined!"

"Ha," Balmor snorted, "you! Pushed into the river by a Keyra? I could have done a better job!"

"The young one's father is suspected dead," she said ignoring the striped cats jeering, "he was drowned in the river."

"Ah, but now is the time to attack!" Balmor roared at last showing a sign of interest.

"I want my pay!" she demanded snapping Balmor out of his victory cheer. The striped cat looked confused and shocked at the same time,

"You never wanted pay before."

"I've never lost an ability before," she growled.

"You should have been more careful!"

"You should have told me about the father!"

"You never did the right job anyway," he protested angrily. Invido couldn't believe the nerve of this creature and was stunned almost into silence, "I asked you to kill Dracon, not the father!"

"But now I have given you a gateway to victory, you can thrash the tribe without their leader. They're in a state of shock for crying out loud." Balmor raised his paws and nodded understandingly.

"Okay," he said giving up, "here." He pointed towards the carcass and began to eat again.

"What?"

"Dig in," he said his cheeks full of fleshy meat.

"I'm a shape shifter!"

"Yeah, so?"

"I don't need nourishment like you mortals," she shook her head despairingly and began to float again as the shape shifting world altered.

"Then what the hell do you want," Balmor moaned agitatedly, his black eyes shining dangerously at her.

"I need that new born cub, Yenal's mate had the other day."

"For what, Invido? You get stranger everyday."

"The life of the young cub will gain my lost power and possibly revive my fire paw ability." Balmor snarled and the roared the blood from the carcass drooling from the inside of his mouth. He pranced around on the ground staring up at her and flicked a small bone across the floor. "Do we have a deal?" she asked.

He roared again and said, "You will never have one of my cubs! Go get one of the Keyras!"

"They have no new born," she sighed.

"Then, I cannot pay you anything." Invido's anger had been rising throughout the whole argument and now it was at its limit. Balmor was selfish and cruel, even more so than her. She had tasted her own medicine and it wasn't good. She flashed and returned to her own world travelling through the time voids. She knew what she was going to do. She was going to change the past.

Kar bounced through the sand like a rabbit, flicking the grains into the air with each step. He knew he looked stupid but the weight of his body just made him sink into the sand so the only method he knew to quickly cross the desert was bouncing. The Sun was slowly sinking below the horizon, spreading the last fingertips of life on the earth. He normally watched the Sun go down but the past few days had been far from normal so he continued to bounce through the plains, trying desperately to keep up with the determined young, female.

Kar believed in calling Chem that now. She was far too grown up and mature to be called a cub and he thought Chem liked the respect he gave her, which was probably what made the two so close but at the moment he was a little confused at her behaviour. She was running over the sand quite easily and with out tripping or falling once. Her head kept swinging as she looked about her and her eyes darted around as if she was searching for something. Suddenly she stopped and looked behind to usher Kar closer.

"Alright, I'm a comin'!" he said as he bounced up to her side panting. He looked at where he was to see that they were on a sand dune and that they had come to the edge of it. Once you had slid down there it would be very hard and tiring to get back up. Below was a small trail, which led out to a small ledge. The young male realised where Chem had brought him…to the cliffs.

"Chem, I don't think that we should be here," he said trying to pull the female back from the ledge.

"Nah, uncle, this is where we should be," even though he wasn't her uncle she still called him that occasionally when she wanted something.

"We are not going down there," he hadn't even finished saying it when Chem pushed herself off, sliding down the bank on her back. "Chem! Come back here young lady!" From the bottom of the dune he saw her pull a face at him and watched her run off towards the ledge. Sighing he thought of how to slide down safely when the sand beneath his feet crumbled away, causing a landslide. He yelled as he was swept unaware down the dune, sand covering him up as he tumbled down. He landed heavily, sand burying everything apart from his head, which stuck helplessly out the grains with a surprised look on its face. Chem ran back over and began to giggle. It was the first time Kar had heard her laugh after her father's death and he considered his fall lucky and with a grin dug himself out of the sand.

"Come on, show me what you want to show me and let's get out of here."

"But I don't want to show you anything Kar," she said walking with him along the trail.

"Huh?" he said stopping and looked down at Chem who was looking sadly up at him. 'Oh, no!' he thought, 'Wait for it…'

"I wanna search for Dad! I know he's alive!" The female's eyes lit up as Kar grinned at her,

"Chem, you really are very positive about death aren't you?" the reply she got was somewhat mean and the male seemed to be mocking her. It wasn't like Kar at all.

"But, we don't know he's dead…"

"We don't know he's alive either."

"So it's fifty, fifty then?" the female smirked at her own cleverness and added, "We have a good chance of finding him alive, right?" Kar sighed and sat down his head lowered a little towards his chest. They had finally come to the ledge and below them the river ran peacefully through the cliff faces, it was hard to believe the river in a storm, but still it had happened.

"Chem, let me tell you something which might effect the way you think…no dream. That river last night, the storm, it was no change in the weather. You've probably guessed it was caused by the cat that attacked you." Chem hadn't of realised this but it made sense so she nodded anyway, "I don't even want to think about it, even believe what happened. Just like you!" he smiled at her and began to walk down a trail to the left,

"But that's okay?" she asked joining him.

"Of course," he replied, carrying on, "It's better to have a positive attitude than a negative one. You were acting very maturely."

"Were?"

"Chem, it's gone too far," he said turning to face her, his eyes burning with faint anger, "that river, the storm. He has more chances of being dead. I'm sorry to be so damn blunt but it's true. I never actually saw the battle but from what I heard, you almost got killed out there too."

"But my father's tough!" the cat squealed angered at her friend's sudden change of mood.

"The other cat was tough, did she make it? No!" Kar spat.

"Dracon is tough, he made it," Chem spat back.

"What," Kar jeered, "he's almost dead! He could be dead now for all we care!" Chem gasped at Kar. This was not the friendly cat she used to know, he had become angry and sad and now he was making her more upset than she already was.

"You…didn't mean that!" she sobbed and ran off down the trail which led down to the bank of the river. Kar sighed and shook his head,

"What have I done?" he asked himself and ran after the blue Keyra who was sprinting down the trail. When he finally caught up with her near the riverbank, he could see she was crying, her tears dripping into the clear water. He lay beside her and tried to rub heads with her but she just pushed his head away with a small paw.

"I didn't mean that," he said softly, "Dracon will be fine, he's got you to look forward to when he wakes up." Chem managed a sad smile but he could see she was still very upset. "But, Chem, do you now understand what I'm trying to tell you?"

"You don't give up do you?" she spat, but inside...she knew what she really felt.

Pounding through the leafy floor, Raga ran on to his unknown destination. The others hated him for sure for not saving Antok so he was once again travelling on his own but he had his punishment; the annoying wings which constantly brought back the sad memories. His legs began to grow weary, however, so he stopped and untangled his leg from a dragged vine. The scenery was unchanging, constant trees. He wondered when he would come out of the forest and realised he wouldn't be able to use his wings as the thick canopy would ruin them.

"That's it!" he cried happily to himself. "I can destroy the memories by getting rid of my wings!" He flew up to the canopy and flew through the top of the canopy, his wings wide. The branches and leaves slapped at his wings causing his eyes to water and immense pain shoot through his spine. However, he kept bashing into the canopy regardless of the constant pain.

'Have to get rid of them,' he though, 'have to-"

"Hey!" someone shouted below him. In surprise he tumbled onto the floor with a thump, his wings lay limply and tattered either side of him. His head was spinning as he tried to get up and he looked around to see who had called him. His blurred vision came to rest upon a strange creature whose body looked a lot like a cats but then its feet had claws and its head was that of an eagles. He judged it was female from the way she looked and her posture and two green and white feathery wings sprouted from her back. Feathery wings she could be proud of, not devil wings like his own. His anger sprouted again and this time he tried to rip his limp wings from his body.

"Hey! Willya stoppit!" she cried coming over and calming him down.

"Leave me alone," he gasped as he noticed her sharp, curved beak.

"Can't if ya gonna try'n killya self like dat!" she exclaimed sitting next to his tired, lying body. "You've completely finished ya wings off."

"Good," he mumbled and curled into a ball. The griffon type creature began to lift up each of his wings and watched them fall limply back to the ground as she let go. She made a tut tut noise and made him stand up, which he did so in a grumpy manner.

"Hmm," she said examining him and noticing the pendant round his neck. "What ya wanna kill yerself for den?"

"None of your business!" he snapped.

"Ooo! Moody fella, aintcha?"

"I didn't used to be, I used to be…" he stopped and sighed. The griffon, however seemed to look understandingly at him,

"Tell me all bout it, don't worry! Old Comet will listen to ya!" He smiled at the griffon and began to tell his tale all the way from when the Keyra adopted him, to the present. At intervals he got angry and began to claw the ground agitatedly and other times he began to sob sadly. Comet was very patient through these moments and after he finished she said,

"So, you think your tribe are angry at you?"

"Course they are, who do you think you are?" he roared, out raged at this young bird who had decided to butt into his life. The bird flapped around in the air and screeched at the angry Keyra,

"Take me to them!" Raga sighed and looked at his bent and broken wings lying limply at his sides but he had no choice, he would have to walk. He steadily followed after the flapping Comet and for a second he felt more mature, as if he had become a few years older in just those few minutes. He couldn't explain it…he didn't even know why he was going back.

Ali'b walked through the desert alone. She was very upset and tears drenched her face as she began to think of the happy memories she had had with Antok. She wondered whether there was such a place as Hikiroto, which was where all the good cats went when their spirits left the real world.

Hikiroto was supposed to be ruled by the big god Lyall, who had a flaming, blue mane made of powdered lighting and stars. His claws on the end of each toe were a special type of rock called Ironee, which is the blackest substance in the entire planet and probably the hardest. Lyall's fur was golden like the sunset and the golden sand beneath her paws and he had bright red eyes, which were said to be made of rubies. The tattoo over his left eye was said to grow as the hate in the world increased. Ali'b guessed that with all the battles and deaths between the Keyra and the striped cats, his tattoo was probably had now spread all over his body.

Hikiroto though, was a place full of peace and happiness. Food just appeared when you wanted it, you had shiny blue wings, like Lyall, and you could fly through the sky, land on the Sun…but she was only told that as a child. She hoped her mate was in a better place, even if it wasn't Hikiroto.

She stopped where she was and realised she had come too far, she had no idea where she was. There were less dead trees here but more rocks, in fact rocks seemed to cover the ground but there was still the equal equivalent of sand. There always was. She turned back and realised that there was another set of paw prints in the sand next to hers but these had no scent. She continued to sniff them with a confused look on her face.

"Please, mortal, don't be afraid," a voice said, coming from her left. Ali'b turned her head to see Invido, the cat who had killed her mate, standing on the ground, her whole white body gleaming under the burning Sun. She looked the shape shifter up and down once and began to back slowly away, teeth bared. Her braids of golden hair swung down covering her eyes and she quickly swiped them away. She had to keep her eyes on the enemy. "I said don't be afraid," Invido repeated not at all advancing on the Keyra.

"What do you want?" Ali'b said her tears running down her face in anger, "Come to kill me too? I'm afraid Chem isn't here so you'll just have to make do with me today."

Invido didn't respond she just walked towards the backing Keyra with a saddened look on her face.

"I am not here to kill you, I'm here to help."

"Why should I trust you?" Ali'b said swiping at Invido's face but her paw went straight through her as if she wasn't there. She gasped, amazed at her power and ran as quick as possible away, frightened and angry but she couldn't go no where. Desert was spread around her without a sign of the others; she had come way too far. She bit her lip and dipped her head. Closing her eyes she though of how foolish she had been to come this far and she looked over her shoulder at Invido, who was still staring innocently at her. She jumped around to face her and growled,

"How can you help?" Invido nodded thankfully at her decision to co-operate and sat down on the sand.

"You know very well I have,hmm, abnormal abilities." The other female nodded slowly. "Balmor is cruel, he was a friend who I thought much of but my recent circumstances have proven him to be unloyal and stupid. I have now come to repay him and by doing so, I can reverse what he so much wanted to happen in the first place." Ali'b gasped and her heart beat fast. Her hate for the shapeshifter was overcome with a faint hope that her powers could be used for a good cause.Wiping the thoughts that it could be a trap out of her head, she cleared her throat and cocked her head.

"You can bring my husband back from the dead?"

"Not exactly but I can reverse time, I could go back to when Balmor asked me to defeat his son and I could not grant his wish. That would prevent Antok coming at all to save Dracon and Chem and therefore prevent his death but-"

"Do it!" the other female said demandingly becoming bolder. She stepped up to Invido and held out her paw, "do us a favour, grant our wish!" Invido looked at the paw thoughtfully. She had never before had friendly contact with a mortal before. She shape shifted into the
mortal world and held out a solid paw to Ali'b who shook it softly.

"There are certain side effects," Invido said, shape shifting back, "it means that history as we know it could take a different turn. Balmor
would not have had his kill; he would want to kill. I can't stop that outcome, it could lead to matters worse than this." Ali'b's hope drained quickly from her eyes and she sighed, "Of course it could have better outcomes," the shape shifter said but it didn't raise her hopes any more.

"You mean, my husband could face a worse death?"

"Maybe, or maybe another one in your tribe would get killed, maybe more than one, or maybe none at all," Invido shook that comment away and added, "there are so many outcomes, it's hard to predict which one would occur." Ali'b understood what she was being told, she didn't know why she should trust the one who killed her mate but the anger in Invido's eyes for Balmor was as true as her own. She guessed that was why Invido had come to her.

"I don't think it can be reversed," she replied and began to cry again, "It was meant to happen." She looked up but Invido had vanished, she
was no where to be seen. A voice seemed to echo in her ears,

"I understand…and...I'm sorry..."

Copyright of Meghan Fisher