CAESAR
Ah, It is finally march
15th
CASSIUS
Yo Casca, wes got to be careful
homie, I think Caesar’s possy knows of operation Caesar salad.
OH dang, what’s gonna happen if we get ratted out, we will be capped fo
sho. Man, I don’t wanna be capped, Ill
commit suicide before I get capped yo.
BRUTUS
Hey Cassius, calm down
eh, nobody knows of operation Caesar Salad.
Exeunt ANTONY and TREBONIUS
CINNA
Casca, homie, you nail em
first with the AK, than the rest of us will barge in and back you up with the
naids we got
CAESAR
This is gonna be a great
day. Yo homies, do no not bow down
before Caesar because you guys look like freakin pendejos.
BRUTUS
I will bow down, but not
for you big ego Caesar.
CAESAR
Que?
CASSIUS
Sorry for the outburst
king. I just want my homie to be freed
CAESAR
Yo homes, id let him go
eh, but the law is the law man.
CINNA
Yo G, WHY wont you let
him go?
CAESAR
Stop, you have a better
chance of being hit by the mafia
BRUTUS
All bow down to King
Caesar
CAESAR
Don’t waste your time
bowing at me Brutus…
CASCA
You SHALL DIE!!!!!!!!!
CASCA first, then the other
Conspirators and BRUTUS stab CAESAR
CAESAR
Brutus, Casca, POR QUE?
I shall meet you all in
hell!!!!!
Dies
CINNA
Finally, we capped that
ganglord eh
CASSIUS
Yo
man, we free
BRUTUS
Wait, wheres publius
CINNA
He got little scared, and
went crying home to his mommy
CASSIUS
Well where the heck is
Antony?
CINNA
That pendejo ran home
crying to his mamma like Publius. He
heard him yelling like a little cry baby.
That’s not good yo. Man, hes
gonna rat us out.
BRUTUS
That is not good.
CASSIUS
We are The men that gave this country liberty.
BRUTUS
Well, lets get outta here
CASSIUS
Yea, leats get rollin’
before the cops find out who we murdered.
Enter a Servant
BRUTUS
Who is this guy, hey u a friend of Antony?
Servant
My master told me that he wants to meet with you,
safely. He wants to know why Caesar had
to be killed. If you tell him this, he
will not have you killed.
BRUTUS
Hey, I respect your master, really I do. Im just glad he didn’t send for us to be
killed. Now, go get your master
Servant
No prob yo.
Exit
BRUTUS
He seems like a nice guy.
CASSIUS
I sure hope so, but I got a bad feeling in the pit of my
stomach……
BRUTUS
Here
comes antony
Re-enter ANTONY
Hello there good man
ANTONY
Oh Caesar. What
have these guy done to you? Everything
you did, everything, and for what. To
be stabbed by the most honorable people around. Now, as for all you, “honorable” people, you shall regret what you have done. Man, if
I were to live another hundred years, I would never be happier to be capped by
your idiots and die next to the greatest man in all of Rome, no, the
world.
BRUTUS
There is no reason to ask for death. Look, you may think we killed Caesar because
we were jealous or whatever you wish to think.
I am telling you that we regret killing Caesar but you must know, we
have saved Rome by doing this.
ANTONY
I trust you guys, I know Caesar was dangerous.
BRUTUS
I am glad you understand if we didn’t cap him, life as we
know it would become hell.
ANTONY
Ok that’s all good.
I was wondering if I could hold on to the body and speak at his funeral.
BRUTUS
Sure why not?
CASSIUS
Yo Brutus!
Aside to BRUTUS
Man, what are you doing fool, don’t let him speak.
BRUTUS
SHHH. Its cool,
look, ill speak first and explain why we had to take him out. Ill let the crowd know we let you speak than
ill let u go.
CASSIUS
Allright, I ask for nothing else aight?
BRUTUS
Hey dude, take this carcass. Oh one thing. You cannot
say bad about us, you can only say good about Caesar otherwise it could get
ugly. Ya know, there could be riots and
what not.
ANTONY
Sure, its no problem.
BRUTUS
Sweet,
take the smelly body and meet us in 10 minutes.
Exeunt all but ANTONY