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| Okay, I promised my bud Steve a review of this movie and here goes. First off let me say that we here at "Quick and Dirty" do not do plot summaries. Also, there's an allergy allert: our reviews may contain traces of spoilers. This review is really intended for people who have seen the movie already. It's a way to start debate and should probably not be used as a guide to "if you should see this movie or not." Okay, here we go. Let me start by saying that there are two schools when it comes to the Lord of the Rings. Those who have read and those who have not. I happen to be one of the ones who have; many, many times. You may think that makes me a LOTR movie snob. But I refuse to say that these movies sucked because they didn't stick exactly to the books. You're looking at two completely different mediums here. Toiken's Rings is gigantic. Let me say that again :GIGANTIC. If someone were to do a direct adaptation of the books to film it would be like watching a four movie series of The Ten Commandments. It can't be done. Period. What Jackson HAS done is absolutetly brilliant. For the adaptation alone he should be given bragging rights now and until the end of time. He selected the right moments, the right actions and the right lines to put on the stage, remaining as true to the text as possible. (with the expection of a few terribly cheap Hollywood laughsfrom Gimli). There are even little heads up to those who have read the books (for example...Chapter titles tend to come up in speech fairly often). Anyone who moans about what Jackson has left out (and I admit to being one of those last year) is belittling the tremdous work the whoe team has done to bring Toilken's vison to life. There could be no greater tribute to the man's life work (certainly not the History of Middle Earth by Christopher Toilken...) I had the pleasure of watching a marathon of all three movies when I caught this one, but being tired didn't diminish it's impact. Okay Pellenor Fields was awesome true enough, the paths of the dead were well done and so was Cirith Ungol. Here's where problems start when translating a book to film. The fight with Shelob became more of just another monster fight,while in the book, Toilken gives us a history of the creature, reaches inside Sam's head during the battle and it becomes one of the best parts of the third book. Unfortunatly, you can't do that on screen and while I was waiting with eager anticpation fot the Shelob scene, it left me wanting. It also scared me half to death if you ask those who were with me. I curled up in a little ball (yes, I have arachnaphobia...and yet Spider-Man is one of my favourite superheros...hmmm) Alright, at the risk of being torn apart by my friends here's what I didn't like (although I'm sure I'll get over this stuff as I watch the movies over and over and over again) 1. Ian Mckellan sometimes mumbles and is hard to hear. I'm sorry but it is true. The man might be a fantastic actor, but I find myself, just occasionly, wanting him to at least open his mouth a little more when speaking. This is very seldom, I assure you. Other than that he has Gandalf to a tee. He IS Gandalf (have I redeemed myself for the bad remarks?) 2. Gimli. Gimli is such a noble character. I realize that every Hollywood film needs comic relief, but it would seem Gimli's only purpose in these films has been just that. Yes, he does get to shine sometimes, but he has too many one liners. 3. Too many close-ups of the ring. yes, we know it's evil. Yes we know it's all powerful. Yes, it talks. But do we need to see it so much? Perhaps I'm thinking more of the first and second movies here, but as i said earlier, I saw all three at once, and that was my impression of the whole shebang. 4. What's with all the marajunia jokes? I laughed a lot at them, but at the same time I felt really cheap. last, but not least... 4. Eowyn. She's one of my favourite characters. Always has been. I've got a soft spot for her. I cheered when she killed the Witch King. I got very upset at Aragorn when he turned her down...broke my heart. Why wasn't she given a proper ending? Yes, Jackson can't do everything that was in the book, but the problem of Eowyn is resolved in a very short second while she is standing in the crowd and shares a look and a smile with Faramir. Come on!! How cheap can you get?? The last time we saw her she had just defeated Sauron's right hand man...wraith...whatever. and all we get is a little look that hints she might end up with Faramir. Terrible. Well, that's enough. I'm sure I'll get over these little quibbles with time. The Return of the King is still one of the best damn movies I've ever seen. Bar none. It's numero uno on my list. Go see it. Now. Yes..this review has been quick and dirty. You want more? Go to rottentomatos.com |
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| "You're stepping on my foot" |
| want more Rings? Go to lordoftherings.net |
| The Return of the King gets a whopping : 5 out of 5 |