A small holding in Ireland

A rude little poem by Kev

Take a small holding in Ireland
Get a grip on yourself in Spain
Catch a good handle
Of your Roman Candle
Clutch at yourself in Bahrain

Choke your chicken for breakfast
Strangle your stringbean for brunch
Make sure you throttle
Your big ketchup bottle
Scrag your sausage for lunch

Spank your monkey for pleasure
Smack your pony for pain
Give a good knock
On the beak of your cock
Slap the nose of your great dane

Shake hands with the bishop
Wave hello to the priest
Greet the abbott
With your nun's habit
And keep the vicar well-greased.