We arrived at around 3:30 and we met up with Chris' co-workers and his groovy chick of a friend Anka (misspelled?). We were all drinking margaritas and beer so were were slightly tipsy but not at all drunk and only slightly buzzed.
So the festivities went on. Chris and I checked out guys but I was too shy to talk to any of them. Anka decided to get a tattoo and as we followed her I spotted a boy who was the epitome of adorable.
This boy had a fisherman's cap on. He was wearing brown pants, a semi-see through black mesh shirt covered slightly by a green trenchcoat that reached down to about his kness. He had bleach blonde hair that sprouted out from underneath his hat. He had star stickers on his face and he had a slight brown goatee. The top button of his shirt was unbuttoned revealing a colorful temporary tattoo of a flower. He had beads and bracelets on his arms and he was wearing black boots. His look was something like semi-goth, semi-raver, semi-artist, completely unique. I was staring at him and his lady friends caught me staring since they all stared back. I smiled at him and they ALL smiled, the girls were giggling and I, feeling somewhat courages, waved hello.
He waved back. So did the girls
I have never done this before. I have never had the balls to show interest in someone. I rarely approach people. But you have to understand how different he looked to me. He was different and I felt that I couldn't let him go. I could let Mr. "BoyNextDoor" go, but not him.
So my friend Chris says "he's cute! Why don't you go talk to him". Chris had the biggest grin on his face too. So maybe it was the bit of alcohol in the margaritas or maybe it was the allure of this young man; whatever it was I went up to the group. I noticed the girls had stars on their faces as well. I said hi to them and they said hi. This guy looked into my eyes then looked away and smiled. They all introduced themselves--the boy's name was Dan. I said "You are so adorable" (now I don't quite remember if I addressed that statement to him or if it was addressed to the group in general for the purpose of being subtle). The girls were completely ecstatic at my obvious interest in their friend. One of the girls went up to Dan and pointed at a sticker he was wearing that read "available". She said, rather loudly, "HE'S AVAILABLE".
We all giggled and I introduced my friend Chris to the group.
The group puts stars on my red cap and I tell the boy if he can put a star on my forehead. He does so and we both smile. Then, because I am so awkward, I tell the group that my friend's friend is getting a tattoo so I'll meet them later on. I ask "you guys aren't leaving soon right?"
The girl responds "no we'll be wherever there is music and dancing."
Dan smiles again and I forget his name for a brief while (I had to make sure to never forget it).
I look at him and say "what was your name again?"
"Dan!" he says, then he dares to smile the sweetest smile I have ever seen.
They walk off and my friend Chris says "What? You didn't even get his number?" I try to tell myself that I'll meet them up later but I know that there's a possibility that I won't see them again. Chris reads that worried look on my face and says "you wanna go and find them?" I reply " Yes!"
So we're off walking in their general direction. Thank god I find the group and Dan with them. I try to play it cool by not approaching them right away but I can't help it and I approach Dan and ask the ladies if it wouldn't be too bad if me and my friend Chris hung out with them. They say it's no problem "the more the merrier". So we're all off together and I have to say that this bunch is the merriest bunch I've ever had the pleasure of meeting. Between one of the girls "finding Jesus between a woman's legs" and another who has had sex seven times to a particular song. Well they were loads of fun.
I was happy just walking next to Dan and just talking and finding out about him. Found out that he is an artist and that is something I respect in people. Found out he's 20 years old just like me and that he enjoys saki among many things. My friend Chris is getting along with the girls (even being interested in one of them). I was ecstatic because I didn't want to run off with someone if I had to leave my friend behind. So seeing that they're all cool I ask Dan if he wants to sit with me somewhere. He says yeah and we depart from the group and say that we'll meet with each other later on.
Dan and I sit on the grass and talk even more about each other. Meanwhile I can't believe how good looking he is. But it's not just that he is "good looking" but it's also that he looks "too special". His attitude seems like he doesn't really know he is good looking. He is brave enough to stare into my eyes and tell me I am cute and that he enjoys my company, but he's also shy enough to look away every once in awhile and become tongue tied. I tell him he's cute too because it's the only stupid thing I can say. I can't relay to him how special he looks.
He makes jokes about how creepy the square dancing booth is. He's funny too. There's a point where we don't have much to say and we just gaze around, sometimes locking eyes, sometimes I look at him when he doesn't know it. Meanwhile I forget I'm outdoors.
We get up and wander around. We share an ice cone thing. We find his friends and they tell him that the girl needs her green jacket back (it's not his after all). So he gives it to her and we both have to walk to the car to get his jacket. Meanwhile we trade hats. I make him wear my red cap and I wear his fishermans hat. He then gives me thsi rainbow colored bracelet. We walk to the car and he gets his jacket. It's a fake fur jacket. I'm thinking to myself "this is too much....this guy definately has style!".
He lets me wear the jacket as we make our way back to the festival. At this point he's touched my shoulder to rub the fur on the jacket and I've touched his shoulder...just because I want to touch his shoulder. Now picture the two of us: He's wearing a red cap with a see through black shirt and brown pants, I'm wearing a vintage fur coat with his hat and a rainbow bracelet. We're both bobbing up and down to some music that's playing nearby. We both keep looking at each other and smiling.
Everyone starts noticing us. It's like I'm drunk because of him. A nearby lesbian see's us and smiles, I wave to her and she waves back as we jump up and down to the lesbian music. A black gay man looks at us and says "looks like someone had way too much fun at the festival!". We both laugh
We get back to the festival and start looking for our friends. Somehow we end up walking hand in hand. I've never walked hand in hand with anyone. We walk hand in hand, shoulder to shoulder, interlocked elbows. I can feel everyone staring at us, some people smiling, I feel so fucking good!
We notice a lot of things about each other. He notices my claw. It is a ring/claw that I bought recently that I wear on my left hand. He not only says it looks cool, but he also says that it suits me, that it doesn't look out of place. I notice that Dan has screws in his shoes. I ask him if they came with the shoes and he said that he put them in there because he was bored. I tell him that I wished to have screws in my shoes too.
We find our friends and I'm happy to see that Chris is having a good time with the girls. (He also managed to start up a conversation with a guy). Meanwhile Dan sits in front of me and I put my arms around him. I put my mouth on his neck and just hug him hard. He hugs me too. I kiss his neck ever so slightly. The girls are ecstatic. They soon start throwing around a small rubber doll with a gaping mouth. The droll is troll-like and it is supposed to represent syphillis. Everytime they throw it and someone catches it they yell "look! I gave you syphillis!!"
It's dark by now and we've all been sitting around for a while on the grass. Dan asks me if I want to go dance. I say yes and we get on the dance floor.
Dan dances so special. So different. He dances with no pretensions. He just flows and it's a good dance. His friend jokes "PLEASE! Teach him how to dance!" I hug him and tell her that he dances just fine. At this point I give him his jacket back and he gives me my hat back. I kiss him twice and we're all off to a bar. My friend Chris felt tired so I thought it would be good to go now. I say goodbye to all the ladies (they are a great bunch!!). I give Dan my number, he gives me his, I give Dan my email, he gives me his. I hug him goodbye. We walk off and Chris is talking to some friends. I turn around and Dan still hasn't crossed the street. I run to him, he runs to me, we hug again, his friends yell "get a room!". I say goodbye.
Chris and me go back home. We watch the nightmare before christmas because Chris has never seen it and it is one of my favorite movies. We talk about guys and girls and how much fun we had at pride.
And that is that. I gave Dan all my info and I also gave him the link to this site. Which means he might be reading this. Which means this is kind of embarrasing. But I don't care. I think that honesty is the highest form of art. The truth is that Dan is like no other guy I've met. Everyone I've met thus far is just normal. Just normal isn't good enough for me. I know enough about normal people in psychology class. I know the rules of first impressions and assumptions. I know how people use mental shortcuts to make their life easier. Maybe that's why I don't like individuals. I don't like them because I can read people like an open book.
I guess I can't read Dan that well, and for that I am thankful! Shows you the power of "why not?".
-Sunday, June 23, 2002