I'm just a human being.

I'm not an idea machine;

Not a baby-sitting service;

Not a counselor;

Not an entertainment center;

Not a bank loan department;

Not a clown to keep you amused;

Not an escort service;

Not a food stamp office;

Not a sad poet to make you cry;

Not a musician;

Not a crazy old fool;

Not a teenager;

Not a guru;

Not a regular guy;

Not a good son;

Not a sucker consumer;

Not an island;

Not a threat;

Not a housebreaker;

Not a sycophant;

Not a radical;

Not a pet;

Not someone to take for granted;

Not a cook;

Not a host;

Not a whore;

Not a hopeless romantic;

Not a lost puppy dog;

Not sure how long I'll be around;

Not sure of much of anything,

Except...

I'm not a revolutionary.

I'm not a tax resister.

I'm not a pervert, voyeur, exhibitionist

or child molester.

I'm not a video producer.

I'm not a wife abuser.

I'm not a bachelor.

I'm not an alcoholic.

I'm not a prevaricator.

I'm not a provocateur.

I'm not a punk.

I'm not a new-ager.

I'm not psychotic.

I'm not sane.

I'm not boring.

I'm not vain.

I'm not superficial.

I'm not conservative.

I'm not stupid.

I'm not clever.

And I'm not an offer that's

Available forever

(Or likely to be repeated).

Check my date of expiration.

It may be sooner than you think.