Dawn's Dumb Wish
DISCLAIMER: These characters are not mine, but I haven’t hurt any one (well, I made Spike bang his shins on a bucket, but that’s it).
RATING: PG-13 for swearing and nudity.
PAIRINGS: Willow/Tara, Giles/Anya
SPOILERS: Everything up to the end of season 6.
DISTRIBUTION: Ask me first - but I’m going to say yes.
FEEDBACK: Yes, please - [email protected]
PROPS: Regina Welch, who very kindly beta’d this story and helped make it way, way better by pointing out the missing jokes, drawing my attention sternly to roving POVs, and laying down the law on active/passive verbs.
Dumbsaint whose “Once More, All Naked, All Gay” is a) brilliant and b) got me thinking about nakedness and gayness.
Drbutterfrogg, whose ridiculously addictive “Wacky Adventures of the Buffybot” were quite clearly on my mind.
All the authors of the enormous amounts of Buffy fanfic - good and bad - that I have been consuming recently, in a sick compulsive fashion.
Chapter 1 Note: This chapter is mainly scene setting, but there’s a great cliff-hanger, so read on!
Chapter 1
Dawn slinked moodily down the street with her hands in her pockets. She felt guilty - and she hadn’t even stolen anything recently. And she didn’t really see why she should be feeling guilty now. I mean, sure she was messing with the laws of God and nature, but hey, who didn’t in Sunnydale? Look at Xander and Willow - wishes and spells all over the place and no-one gave a damn - and there was nothing else to do in this dump anyway.
She touched the pendant around her neck for reassurance. It was warm, just a little more than her own body temperature, and soothing somehow. It was obviously a good pendant, because Tara wouldn’t have owned it otherwise.
There was going to be major excitement when her wish came true, and she could go and get her belly button pierced tomorrow - most probably no-one would notice for days. Dawn rounded the corner and stepped into the Magic Box.
“Dawn!” Anya shouted. “Over here!”
Dawn slouched reluctantly across the room. “Yeah Anya? Is this urgent, because I’m kinda in a hurry.”
“You’re here to meet Buffy. She isn’t here yet. You are therefore not in a hurry.” Anya fixed her with an intense look. “Now, how was your day at school? Did you do well in any tests? Or attract the attention of a popular boy who plays team sports?”
Dawn heard a snicker from one of the customers behind her. She felt her ears burning as she leaned forward and hissed, “do not ask me dumb questions.” This Anya as parental figure thing was not going at all well.
.............................................................
Buffy strode down the sidewalk, a large glossy shopping bag banging on her hip - new shoes - she couldn’t wait to show them to Anya. Now that the Watchers Council had come to its senses and started paying her at least a fraction of what she was worth she had money to burn.
She came to the Magic Box’s new big plate glass window. There was Anya, and Dawn, with their heads together having a chat - she was pleased they were getting on so well. With Tara gone, and Giles and Willow in England, Anya had stepped up. She burst through the door setting the bell clanging madly. “Hi guys! I’ve bought new shoes. Want to see?” Anya and Dawn turned towards her. Dawn was pouting, Anya had her eyes narrowed.
.............................................................
Anya watched sourly as Buffy placed her bag up on the counter, and rummaged through the tissue paper excitedly. “Here they are - what do you think of these puppies? They are so cool. Expensive of course,” she paused to let that sink in, “but totally worth it. These gold strappy bits are....”
“So, Buffy,” Anya butted in. “Have you heard from Giles?”
Buffy paused. “Giles? Yeah, I’ve heard - he seems to be enjoying playing with his new phone.” She pulled her cell phone out of her pocket. “He sent me a message this morning.” She handed her phone across to Anya. The screen was filled with capital letters, “ALL WELL. WEATHER GOOD”, centred and with a little hyphenated border around it, like some high tech lady’s sewing sampler.
Anya ground her teeth - why wasn’t Giles sending her personal messages? Instead, it was all Buffy, Buffy, Buffy. She and Giles had bonded, as he had lain there bleeding in the Magic Box. She had been a comfort to him, she knew it - but obviously he was now running scared. Well, Mr Commitment Phobe was gonna get a surprise very soon. Anya closed Buffy’s phone with an ugly snap and slid it into her pocket.
.............................................................
Anya cashed up at the Magic Box - she preferred to do this in private, especially the bit when she slid the lovely metally coins into their dinky little cash bags, mmm! Having a sulky teenager and a perky slayer hanging about the place just spoiled the mood for her. Her thoughts took on a brooding tone. Buffy obviously took Giles for granted - here he was sending her messages reeking of existential despair - and what was she doing? Nothing, that's what. She totally did not deserve him. Perhaps she, Anya, should send him an e-mail, or even phone him. She bit her lip indecisively. She could start off with the good news about the month's receipts, then move casually into so how's the whole dealing with a depressed witch who tried to destroy the world thing going? From there it would be natural to ask, and when do you think you'll be bringing her back, then finally, and when you get here would you like to go out for a, a... concert? That's it - Giles was bound to like classical concerts and stuff. He had a guitar that didn’t plug into anything, that was a sure sign. Meanwhile Buffy could find herself another man, undead or alive, whatever. Anya hummed a few lines from the Brandenburg Concerto to herself as she pushed the cash drawer closed, good humour restored.
.............................................................
Dawn rested against the counter with her arms folded. Anya had finally shut up as requested (although she was now humming like an idiot) but Buffy was still burbling on about shoes, and plans for the weekend, and maybe getting a new stake with a non-slip handle, or should she just buy some of that crisscross tape and upgrade Mr Pointy - what did Dawn think? Dawn thought that if Buffy would just shut up for five minutes, they could maybe leave this lame ass shop and get home before things started.
But she was too late. Things had already started. There was a creak and a sigh, and a faint rattling throughout the shop as phials and totems trembled softly against each other. The air chilled until there was a cracking noise, and a whoosh and then blam! Tara stood in the middle of the shop, stark naked and looking very surprised.
Chapter 2 trailer: This is the chapter when I make Spike bang his shins on a bucket. Don’t worry, he’ll heal really quickly - because he’s a vampire and all (no, I don’t understand how that works either). Buffy has a chip on her shoulder about not finishing college. You get naked Tara - lucky people - and somebody else naked too. Read on to find out more!
Feedback is very welcome!
Return to Keswindhover's home page