The Science in Dhikir
May 4 2007 / 17 Rabiul Akhir 1428

Just because.....
26 April 2007 / 9 Rabiul awal 1428



I go through these episodes every once in a while. There are times where I plunge into the darkness of some deep sadness. It always goes back into the past, when I relive it once again. Dark and sad memories surface, memories you thought you had forgotten but then they’re awakened. There are some wounds that time cannot heal, and the sadness can be so deep, that you just cannot cry. And if tears do gush out, you feel a little foolish. I’m told to just get over it, and move on, but that’s difficult for me to do. I think the fact that I fall into these episodes NOW and then is a good thing because it helps me to remember Allah’s blessing on me, and though I felt alone, I was never alone — my Lord was with me.


=================================================================================

to the friend...I mean what i said..... and i am sincere in our friendship.....
if only you know.......

22 April 2007 / 5 Rabiul Akhir 1428

my heart ache…
I was immensely indulge with the material…the air conditioned room seem not to bother my nerve … I was oblivious enough to notice the passer bys…flipping and reading the material for an hour and a half…..it has been a routine early in the morning for myself…two or three topics succeed to caught my attention and the others, perished in the woo woo land…my mind swindle and dwindle to the past few days event….

…..mesti pandai kawal emosi dan perasaan.Jangan biarkan perasaan menguasai akal kita. Setiap tindakan perlu rasional. Keputusan yg dibuat mestilah berteraskan alas an yg kukuh dan disokong oleh fakta dan rasional yang logic.
….tetapi perasaan dan emosi sebahagia dari kita. Ia sedarah daging dengan kita. Bagaimana saya nak ketepikannya semudah itu?
...selagi akal dibajai ilmu, kita tidak mudah terperangkap dalam jaringan perasaan

obstinate enough....
i dont want to intervene nor made an incursion , but having aware that the impending result will exacerbate the situation lead me to attest my responsibility and credibility….
Coax is a foreign word to me…cajol is even far from normal…. But forfeit is my worst viral .….

“O you who believe ! When you meet (an enemy) force, take a firm stand against them and remember the name of Allah much (both with tounge and mind) so that you may be successful” (Quran 8:45)

One of the headline today written by kathirasen after a Virginia Tech massacre; Most Of The Shadows Of  Life Are Caused By Standing In Our Own Sunshine….the article caused me having ambivalent attitudes…the writer points out that all happened in our life is mainly due to our responsible act only and non other else….at some point I agree with him but on the other side of the road, all that happened to ourself are actually been decreed…

“No calamity befalls on the earth or in yourselves but is inscribed in the Book Of Decrees – before We bring it into existence” (Quran 57:22)

“Nothing shall happened to us but except what Allah has ordained for us” (Quran 9:51)

And now I comprehend that life is a rose of garden…
the lovely flowers come with thorns that prick…

O’ Allah….only You is my hope…..

13 April 2007/ 25 Rabiul Awal 1428

Yesterday, i eventually know i am not in the right place....but...
i want to ask u 3 questions though....

would u do the same....

and

would u have right
if someone u know dearly....eg ur sibling or any of ur close friend ....
feel that she souldnt be" treated that way" and in my context of view i could perceive it as "what she said make sense and logic" because i am a girl just like her which eventually prevail me to did something i thought was right but turn out to be i am not in the right place....

and...

would any of you girls at least ....want the basic

Women, we are lovable timid docile fragile creatures. Despite our “we can live without men” outer apperance, deep down inside, we crave for their attention and affection. We seek their warmth and tenderness when we feel cold and afflicted by the cruel world. We seek their wisdom when we are stunted by our own.

but u are denied to it....
(those are not the things we needed but those are who we are.... )
;
and....

women nature to speak to each other is natural....and normal
women tends to pour and share their problems unlike men who are better off " be in his own cave" as quoted by my friend...
(...clearly seen if u watched Desperate Housewife or Gilmore Girls...)

....sorry if it happens to crack ur brain or emotion.....

and yes....i am a close friend and a sister but not in the right place as she said.....
i am just a no-nonsense girl who has good intention but end up screwing myself for the sake of her close friend aka sister...
and i learn my lesson very well though this time....

and

there has been times in each of our lives when we picked up what we later felt was the wrong stick. Our choices have brought consequences we would rather lived without.If we had the choice to make over again, we would make it differently.
I call these choices mistakes....






12 April, 2007 / 24 Rabiul Awal 1428
It was supposed to be on Tuesday....but the server was awfully crazy so here i am...
updating my blog to store it in memory...this is the sweetest ever thing happened in my life....
thank you for those who make it happened... *smile

I will be a little ambassador soon.....alhamdulillah....
for those who knows,pray for my luck and well behaved....
for those who is still wondering....you will know by yourself when the time come.....

Comfirmation had been made yesterday by Yayasan......alhamdulillah...
The official date is within 6 months from now.....

Salam to grid computing....

p/s- for the other two, hopefully we can meet there....and the chance is high !!!!....

April 9 , 2007 / 21 Rabiul Awal 1428


"Through my mother, I have grown to appreciate how very resilient the human spirit can be..."

A tribute to my mom, may Allah bless her beautiful soul..ameennn...
.

This sentence can be whatever you want it to be. It is how you perceive yourself and how you perceive the opposite sex. I did not place a comment limit on per person, neither did I limit the number of ways you could structure this sentence. =)

Women may say “Woman! Without her, man is nothing!”

Men may say “Woman without her man, is nothing!”

A person who values both sexes, whom acknowledges that one cannot be without the other, would type both sentences.

This is not to say that those who choose to write one sentence only is wrong, no no, that is not my intention.

I would like you to ask yourself why do you think that way. And since most of my friends are women, we should ask ourselves why do we think that a man, without his woman is nothing?

And to the men, why do you think a woman without her man, is nothing?

Is it ego? The feelings of superiority? Did your sexist instincts kicked in?

We revert to the story of Prophet Adam Alahissalam.

Ibn Abbas and a group of companions of the Prophet (PBUH) narrated that when Iblis was sent out of Paradise and Adam was accommodated therein, Adam was alone in Paradise and did not have a partner from whom he could get tranquility.

He slept for some time and when he woke up, he saw a woman whom Allah had created from his ribs.

So he asked her, “Who are you?

She replied, “A woman”

He asked: “Why have you been created?”

She said :”So that you could find tranquility in me.”

The angels, trying to find out the extent of his knowledge, asked him: “What is her name O Adam?” He replied, “Eve” They asked “Why was she so named?”

He replied, ” Because she was created from something living.”

Since the beginning of time, the position of women was acknowledge its importance. Prophet Adam was lonely in Paradise hence Allah created him a companion so he may share his joys and seek peace within another being.

We revert to the story of Prophet Muhammad SAW.

The Angel Gabriel (Jibril) came to our Prophet and commanded him to read. Our Prophet (SAW) replied “I cannot read!”.

Gabriel embraced Muhammad (SAW) until he cannot breathe and then let him go saying “O Muhammad! Read!”

Again, our Prophet (SAW) replied “I cannot read!”

Gabriel embraced Muhammad (SAW) for the second time. He then ordered him to read for the third time, when he did not, he embraced him tightly until he could not breathe, and then  released him saying

“O Muhammad! Recite with the Name of Your Lord Who has created (all that exists). He has created man out of a (mere) clot of congealed blood: Read! And your Lord is the Most generous” (96: 1-3)

Our Prophet SAW returned home trembling. He entered his home and told Saydatina Khadijah “O wife! Cover me up! Cover me up!”

Khadijah covered her husband and comfort him until he felt better. He then told her about what had happened to him in the Cave of Hira.

He said “I was concerned about myself and my well-being”.

Khadijah assured her husband saying:

“By Allah! You do not have to worry! Allah, the Exalted will never humiliate you! You are good to your kith and kin. You help the poor and needy. You are generous and hospitable to your guests. You help people who are in need.”

And by Allah’s will, Khadijah, wife of our Prophet was one of the first women to accept the calling of Islam. Masya-Allah.

Again, Khadijah was brought to our Prophet just so he could seek tranquility and comfort at times when he is distress. Masya-Allah. Allah has exalted our status as such that we, women, bring comfort to mankind at times of distress.

Both examples confirm the fact that a “Woman: without her, man is nothing.” As for the other sentence, we revert to the life of Prophet Ayuub Alahissalam (Job).

When Prophet Ayuub was striken with disease and calamities, the only person who remained by his side, forever faithful and loyal to him was his wife. Then one day Syaitan Nir-Rajm came to his wife and reminded her of the days when Ayuub was well and their family was thriving.

She confronted her husband and said :”How long are you going to bear this torture from our Lord? Are we to remain without wealth, children or friends forever? Why don’t you call upon Allah to remove this suffering?”

Job sighed, and in a soft voice replied : “Iblis must have whispered to you and made you dissatisfied. Tell me how long did I enjoy good health and riches?”

She replied: “80 years.”

Then Job replied: “How long am I suffering like this?”

She said: “7 years.”

Job then told her: “In that case I am ashamed to call on my Lord to remove the hardship, for I have not suffered longer than the years of good health and plenty. It seems your faith has weakened and you are dissatisfied with the fate of Allah. If I ever regain health, I swear I will punish you with a hundred strokes! From this day onward, I forbid myself to eat or drink anything by your hand. Leave me alone and let my Lord do with me as He pleases.”

Crying bitterly and with a heavy heart, she had no choice but to leave him and seek shelter elsewhere. In his helpless state, Prophet Ayuub appealed to Allah, asking for His mercy.

Almighty Allah instructed: “Remember Our slave Job, when he invoked His Lord saying: “Verily! Satan has touched me with distress (by losing my health) and torment (by losing my wealth)!” Allah said to him: “Strike the ground with your foot: This is a spring of water to wash in and cool and a refreshing drink.” And We gave him back his family, and along with them the like thereof as a Mercy from Us, and a reminder for those who understand. (38:41-43)

Job obeyed and almost immediately his good health was restored. Meanwhile, his faithful wife could not longer bear to be parted from her husband and returned to him to beg his forgiveness, desiring to serve him.

On entering her house, she was amazed at the sudden change: Job was again healthy! She embraced him and thanked Allah for His mercy.

Job was not worried, for he had taken an oath to punish her with a hundred strokes if he had regained health but he had no desire to hurt her. He knew if he did not fulfill the oath, he would be guilty of breaking a promise to Allah. Therefore in His wisdom and mercy, Allah came to the assistance of His faithful servant and advised him:

“take in your hand a bundle of thin grass and strike therewith your wife, and break not your oath.” Truly! We found him patient. How excellent a slave! Verily, he was ever oft returning in repentance to Us!” (38:44)

In this case, a wife, without her husband, she feels utterly miserable and yearn to feel her husband’s love and company. Masya-Allah.

There are many more examples from the Quran and from the libraries of islamic histories which compliment both sides of the coin.

Truth of the fact remains that Allah made both men and women so we could compliment each other. Two halves makes a complete one. Where the husband lacks, the wife will fulfill and where the wife lacks, the husband will fulfill.

Though there is verse in the Holy Quran which states that men is made superior over women, neither gender should feel that one is better then the other because each lack qualties that the other has.

Men are made indeed superior to women, they are larger then us, they think with their heads (subject to argument on which ‘head’) rather then their hearts, strength wise they are also stronger then us.

They are made that way so we women could feel safe in their presence. Wives, do you not feel protected in your husbands arms? Do you not feel that he is the strongest person in your world when he opened that bottle of pickle for you? Do you not feel that he is the gentlest person in your world when he holds your children in his arms?

Women, we are lovable timid docile fragile creatures. Despite our “we can live without men” outer apperance, deep down inside, we crave for their attention and affection. We seek their warmth and tenderness when we feel cold and afflicted by the cruel world. We seek their wisdom when we are stunted by our own.

We are also aware that men, deep down inside, are marshmellows. They melt when they are being loved by their women. They go all mush when they see their family together, healthy and happy. They do sulk when we do not pay any attention to them.


we know that the duaa of a woman is more makbul then a man because of her loving nature. Insya-Allah.

Wives, make duaa for your husbands because of your loving nature, Allah will hear your calling.

Husbands, treat your wives with respect and adoration, without her, you would not find tranquility.

With that, I leave you with a hadith from the Prophet Muhammad SAW:

Abu Hurairah narrated that the Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) said:

“O Muslims! I advise you to be gentle with women, for they are created from a rib, and the most crooked portion of the rib is its upper part.

 If you try to straighten it, it will break and if you leave it, it will remain crooked, so I urge you to take care of the women.”

(Sahih Bukhari).

p/s---dearest forensic Anthropologist wannabe Nisa sighted in Whoop-Whoop Land Au...thank you for the soul enlightment articles

.....


March 19 2007 / 28 Safar 1428
Kemaruk Exam Dan Banyak Homework

I was contemplating about an evening off with my friend when suddenly i heard people scuttling about. Then, there was an exodus mass of rambunctious kids scurrying about at the ground floor of the digital library. The boisterous kids are accompanied by two female adults presumable their teachers. Within many kids, only one malay innocent looking kid with a pair of an adorable eyes caught my attention. He is just so cute in the dozens present there.. then, i postulated that the visit to the digital library is to expose the young children to grow fond of books.

Books can be associated with knowledge. In congruent with that, knowledge also equates as success. In a speech delivered by Tun Mahathir at the conferment of the Honorory Doctorate In KNowledge Science by Multimedia University on 25 July 2004, he equate knowledge with power and power is one form of success.Again, referring to his book entitled Islam, knowledge and other affair; I reckoned that our late Prime Minister emphasized on knowledge.

In Islam, the first revelation of Quran begins with' Iqraq' means "read". Reading impart knowledge to the reader. Clearly, the first important message in Islam is towards intellectual development. This is proven when the ignorant Arab Jahiliyah for example, upon embracing Islam and obeying the injunctions of Islam were able to build a great Islamic civilisation where at that time, the European Christian were wallowing in the ignorance of Medievel Ages. Thus, in stark contrast, the quest and acquisition of knowledge is the determinent of human civilisation.

In addition, exam candidates nowadays are vying with each other to get as many A as possible printed on their result slip. A string of A is always reciprocate as a passport to the next road of better future. In Personal Money magazine Febuary 2007 issue even give its big shot to parents when the headline was "From Cradle To College". Societies are now begin to realize that knowledge deformation in oneself means regression despites of the first revelation of Quran one thousand four hundreds years ago on how much knowldge is important in life.

Islam enjoined Muslim to seek vast knowledge. In addition, in his book, Tun Mahathir deliberate that Muslims in the new world with his faith and his well rounded knowledge must show the way; the way to a religious and morally upright, materially wealthy and deeply knowledgeable world.

As a conclusion, in my opinion, hedonism shouldnt be a part of our life if we want to achieve profound stature. We are all endowed with brain and brawn. Thus we must attained a well rounded knowledge be it in science, engineering, philosophy, relegion etc as long as it brings harmony and doesnt deviate from a way of life.

P/s:....hurmmm....only one malay male kid .. ??!!!



March 11 2007 - 20 Safar 1428

Surah 93:
Ad-Dhuha (The Morning Hours, Morning Bright!)


In the name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful

1. By the Glorious Morning Light,

2. And by the Night when it is still,-

3. Thy Guardian-Lord hath not forsaken thee, nor is He displeased

Benarlah..............dan syukur Alhamdulillah

No Date....DRY SPELL

It has been an agonizing week lately....
I am so engrossed in my life as a bad student (it is emphasized) and nothing seems to gratify me at this moment.
It will be an implicit mistake if i say i am completely a-okay with all these stuffs hanging loosly around me begging for my attention.

Sometime i just wonder is it my fault for refraining myself away from the 'o-yeah' zone or is it about imperative tone of my head repeatedly saying that good things are never easy that had to be obeyed which eventually prevail me to lost in the sea of papers right now??



Another truth is that everything in this life is never convenient. Great things are never fall into your lap or some raining down from the sky. You have to struggle, and struggle hard. And then, maybe, just maybe, the heavens will open up. –spare change—good things are never convenient—by azizi ali taken from personal money magazine febuary2007 issue

and

“What nonsense. Do you think will power gives a man the strength to lift a burden a camel cannot carry or to draw a load the oxen cannot budge? Will power is but the unflinching purpose to carry a task you set for yourself to fulfillment. If I set for myself a task, be it ever so trifling, I shall see it through. How else shall I have confidence in myself to do important things? Should I say to myself. “For a hundred days as I walk across a bridge into the city, I will pick from the road a pebble and cast it into a stream.’ I would do it. If on the seventh day I passed by without remembering , I would not say to myself,  “tomorrow I will cast two pebbles which will do as well.’ Instead I would retrace my steps and cast the pebble. Nor on the twentieth day would I say to myself. “Arkad this is useless. What does it avail you to cast a pebble everyday? Throw in a handful and be done with it.” No, I would not say that nor do it. When I set a task for myself, I complete it. –taken from The Richest Man In Babylon by George S.Clason



Walk....stumble...stumble for the second time.....sit down for a while....annoyed.....stand up....brsikly walk .....stumble again....stand up ....eyes up at the sky......fall into hole.....climb from hole....dirty clothes....curse for a while....walk again.....climb up a hill...found a wolf.....schock and fear......run....hide.....run again....run.....roll down a hill.....stand up again......walk...found an empty house...sleep for a while...having nightmare.....wake up..........walk out the door.........suddenly trip...sighh.....bandage the wound.......walk again....blooding....bandage again......rainy day....soaked in wet.......colddd......flu and cough...thunderstrom...found broken umbrella......get crazy for a while....(and the lsit go on as you wish !!!)

SOUND TOUGH huh????

I woudnt know the exact answer but tomorrow morning after subuh prayer will be a very terrific time for jogging.
or perhaps maybe i should capitulate.....any good conditions or terms???





Verily, with hardship, there is relief (94:6)

pray for my luck and well being....dozzZzed off
- bye bye for now

Wonder Of WonderS...
26 Muharram 1428

“ O’ Allah, Your Mercy do I hope for; so do not leave me to myself, not even for the blinking of an eye. And make well for me all of my affairs. There is none worthy of worship except You.”

Love…
I would put it as super interesting…There are no words can define it..it is so complex, subjective, and full of enigma.
But I have a thing or two to say about love but don’t get me wrong, I don’t try to impose my thought.

In this world, one single might wonder if there is a perfect match just for oneself?
My answer would be no. There is no perfect match in this world.What is there is only two people, trying to match all their likes and dislikes, and complement each other's strengths and negotiate their wants and needs so that they can live loving each other and live harmoniously together. There is also a saying that a perfect match can only be found between a blind wife and a deaf husband, because the blind wife cannot see the faults of the husband and the deaf husband cannot hear the nagging of the wife…hehehe…

Thus,


“Love the one who is beloved to you in due moderation, for perhaps the day will come when you will abhor him. And hate the one whom you detest in due moderation, for perhaps the day will arrive when you will come to love him.”

Love…a faint of smile flickered across my face.

In Stephan R.Covey book, he did mentioned that love is a verb.Love-the feeling-is a fruit of love-the verb…

And it does make sense because when we love, we give the very best within ourself withut sparing any effort and without sparing any good deeds to our love one but if we love someone due to an act of worship, it will be even better. Why?becoz…

“ where are the ones who love each other because of My Exaltedness (for the sake of Allah)? Today I will provide shade for them in My shade - a day wherein there is no shade except for My shade” (Prophet saw)

Anything that is done for the sake of Allah is blessed. …I think I had wrote this line before and let it be a reminder for you and me. Last but not least…read on….

Love is not a spring that flows wherever it falls;
love is the bedding of the spring that you take care of
love is a thing that you take care of
    and
 the love you have for Allah and His Prophet Muhammad PBUH becomes rational
because you are working on it.
    and
This is how you show your grateful.

 Nonetheless, may Allah forgive me if I cam off rude in my writing.
Wallahu alam..

My legoland…
Feb 7 2007 / 18 muharram 1428

 These Is the excerpt taken from the Islamica magazine issues 14 and worth read and understand.The article was written by Faraz Rabbani, a specialist on Hanafi jurispundence

“The Prophet Muhammad PBUH said that “Whomever Allah wishes well for, He gives deep understanding (fiqh) in matters of religion”
(Bukhari 71, Muslim 1036)
This fiqh (deep understanding) is knowledge that is coupled with understanding – ‘ilm is to know something; fiqh is to know something deeply with understanding.

Imam Nasafi, the great Hanafi jurist and exegete, explained that this deep understanding has a transformative effect – if true, it invariably results in action, for the one who truly understands acts in accordance with their realization. This acting – with the hearts and limbs – is likely to be consistent and steadfast, because it results from deep understanding.

On the other hand, action based on the impulses of emotion is like student activism – one sees a flurry of activity for a period of time, and then it ends when one ‘moves on’ in life with marriage, a career and related concerns.

….this is the means of getting the knowledge with understanding – knowledge itself maybe gained haphazardly through books, but understanding can’t. The prophet Muhammad PBUH said “Knowledge is only through learning (ta’allum)”. (Haytami,Majma al-Zawaid 1.340,from Bazzar with a trustworthy chain of narrators)
Learning (ta’allum) entails studying under a teacher (mu’allim). This gives one understanding, a living example of the knowledge one gains and also guide to turn to when confused. After all, “Asking the cure for the confusion” as the prophet Muhammad PBUH said(Abu Dawud 336,Ibn Maja 572, with a sound chain)

…

Entering adulthood, my paradigm of life eventually evolved and changed and I take it well as a growth from infancy to adulthood is in accordance with natural law but at some extend it culminate in confusion and questions of so many listed whyss…

When I was at age 7 to 12, I remember I love playing with lego. Being sated with construction of many colorful bricks and overwhelmed with the finished work is better than playing with Barbie doll or ‘masak-masak’….heh..such a girl I am…

Lego is fun !!...you can construct anything you want…be it in animal form, a vehicles,
etc…well….From many pieces of lego you will have your own masterpiece done. Part of the construction process also involve exploring pieces you have and searching pieces you don’t have.

 If looking at the process of playing lego, it assembled the process of learning. Why?

Just imagine a Lego piece is like a piece of information which can come in many different sizes, shapes, and colors. It is up to the person to take each piece of information and connect it to other pieces of information in order to create something meaningful for him or her. Thus, a person has an active role in constructing knowledge rather than just passively accepting information.

As mentioned earlier,it  involves exploring what pieces you have and searching for pieces you don't have. If you don't have the pieces you want, then one should improvise and all is not lost. It also involves taking risks in your building process where you challenge yourself. Without exploration and risk-taking, one would not be able to discover his or her potential to learn, grow, and succeed.

So, where is "the teacher" in this building process? The teacher (e.g. a classroom teacher, a mentor, an organization, a t.v. program, a toy, a friend, a stranger, etc.) not only offers pieces of information but should inspire one to build new bodies of knowledge that will give each person personal meaning, meaning that will encourage endless learning.

And…

The great thing about Legos is that you can get new sets and expand your collection….

Missing Ingredients.....

Febuary 3, 2007 / 14 muharram 1428


Left out feeling sad, exasperate,and puzzled....I dismiss that such benevolent manner wouldnt help them anyway....enough is enough....

but then....

Not so do those who show patience and constancy, and work righteousness; for them is forgiveness (of sins) and a great reward. [11:10-11]


PAtience.....and.....good manner.....Two ingredients for an ultimate recipe of life...

Would you still do good deeds for those who wronged you so many times and you are baffled as to the-why-they-did-this-to-me?????

Sigh.....

i still remember...

miss muffet :why people are tested by Allah?
kesuma_tx :becoz it is a stepping stone to jannah...so...can we refuse this gift ?

and now should i refuse this gift ?

Sigh......

May Allah gave me strength and steadfastness...ameen
.......