July 3, 2007

The memorable date July 2, 2007

O Allaah! Endow me with Your Love and the love of all whose love benefits me with You.
O Allaah, with whatever You have given me of that which I love, let it strengthen me in what You love.
O Allaah! Whatever You have kept from me of that which I love, let it strengthen me in what You love

Abg ....if you need someone to meow, someone to woof, someone to koala, I’m here



June 10 2007

http://keretamayat.blogspot.com/2007/04/kenapa-bersedih.html

June 3 2007


Suatu pagi…
Astagfirullah…aku ditinggalkan lagi keseorangan….sunyi bertapak di rumah yang luas ini….sunyi bertalu-talu di ruang hati…
Astagfirullah…ya Allah…Engkau benar-benar mengujiku…ampunkanlah dosa-dosaku ya Allah…
Dan deraian air mata menyapa…
Astagfirullah...tabahkanlah hati ini ya Allah....
Sesungguhnya hambaMu ini sebenar-benarnya tidak tahan lagi ya Allah...
Engkau Maha Mengetahui apa yg di dalam benakku ini Ya Allah...
Berilah petunjuk dan tabahkanlah hati ini....

Satu malam yang tenang -
May 28 2007


kesuma alone?
alone.
lonely?
*sigh.......
i know u remember the moment but just let it be a sweet memory...your life has to keep going on
yes....i know that...but i just cant stop thinking how silent the world within me is.....just hear the sound...the music, the people walking nearby, the gabbing, the life out here....it is different from my world, deep deep down hear....see....it has no sound and just black and white....i just really want to fill it...i want to paint it...i want to lullaby it.....
but you have it all right? u have everything....ur lap top,ur ipaQ,ur books,ur friend, ur best buddy.......(and the list goes)
yes i do...but they have their own life.....my friend has their own life....they owned life and they eventually colored it.....things are indeed not a creature....things are just mere things.....they are programmed for a human being....things do works...things dont create work.....
then find urself someone
i dont think i will find myself someone....i just dont have that zest... and i just cant.....i have to consider many feelings......people close to me impose a definite law....i think they manipulate the words and somehow....it convinced me what they say is true and makes sense......so, the final result is me as you see now......
furthermore....personally i reserved my love just for my husband only.....i dont know weather it is appealing or not but i can't help to think that he will be happy when he knows that my love and life is for a man call husband and non other than that.....how i wish someone could just digest this......
say it but i dont really understand what are you talking about...if you dont know who is the man then how both of you want to lived together under one roof? dont love comes first before married??Dont both of you need to know each other before married?? i couldnt fathom u married a stranger..
i know that...call me ortodox if you like too but for me, boyfriend girlfriend stuffs is not a reality and will lead to no where....we dont even know exactly what will happened in future....maybe we are destenied with someone else rather than that particular boy, and if this happens it is a waste...waste of time and energy ....and i am just more comfortable with close friends who like and willing to exchange views, opinions, and events...i need space for myself......
But it doesnt mean that i am totally against with the realtionshp before marriage....i understand it is human nature to be loved and loved and in my opinion, one relationship between girl and boy is not actually wrong....it is how Allah has created us....but the problem will occur if both or one of the party tend to lead to zina...that is the biggest problem.....and as we all know very well, human being are fallible...anything can happened right??? so why dont we wisely choose the safest and right way.....just be patience and just be good friends ....for me if one man is really serious with one girl, he will ask for her hand....he will meet the girl's parents....that is the way which works for me.....and i feel safe about it....my family will know him and his family..
i see .........maybe there will be a man who will understand ur sayings...furthermore....u have a lot of male friends....
....they are just friends...friend comes and goes....some even leave foot prints at our heart...we have to face it......in addition... .i dont go out with them....i meet them if there is an occasion or matters to be solved.....i dont know why i react this way but this is me.... i dont like my male friends to bring me out here and there....it feels not right.....and to be frank, i dont really understand them....sometimes, they are confusing.....
and i dont think any of them will understand my conviction.
then just wait......i am sure you will eventually find ur prince charming.....
only Allah knows the best..

It is only a tiny rosebud,
A flower of Allah’s design;
But I cannot unfold the petals
With these clumsy hands of mine.

The secret of unfolding flowers
Is not known to such as I.
ALLAH opens this flower so sweetly,
Then in my hands they die.

If I cannot unfold a rosebud,
This flower of Allah’s design,
Then how can I have the wisdom
To unfold this life of mine?

So I’ll trust in Allah for leading
Each moment of my day.
I will look to Allah for His guidance
Each step of the way.

The pathway that lies before me,
Only Allah knows.
I’ll trust Him to unfold the moments,
Just as He unfolds the rose

updated :
comment by marina through yahoo 11:33pm 28 may 2007
...thank you dear ;)
marina: comment for ur latest post: find a husband not a bf. maybe it will take a long time to find one but at least he's the only one who could be ur guidance and ur true soulmate and someone who wants u because of Allah. it's not wrong to find one. And when u find one don't waste ur time loving him unless you are sure that he's urs and so do you. get to know him without breaking the "muslimah rulez" and istiqarah babe. InsyaAllah u'll find someone. Someone that u can keep on whining about ur life and he never bored to death