Heart Softener...


I told cookie and miss muffet (my siblings... and cookie is now a medical student) my new story about how a non-Muslim man who is studying the Quran and had cancer at the same time recites the ayat "And when I am ill, it is He who cures me." (Ash-Shu`ara 26:80) again and again and by Allaah`s Will, he is now in a pink of health and thus brought him to his reversion to Islaam.

Then, i was back in front of my loyal friend trawling over the digital highways and stumbled upon a marvel of miracle again...subhanallah
Dr Laurence Brown




4 Janury 2007 / 14 Zulhijjah 1427

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WIpe the slate clean

Sometimes, I love my solitude and grow tired and frustrated at the world around me, so battered and broken it seems.
That particular innocuous lake will be the witness of the day and that particular mosque will be the place to seek tranquility.

As the new year 2007 will knocks on the door, there are so many things whirled in my mind resulting in myriad of emotions…perplex,skeptical, excited, rancour,bitter,exasperate, resentment, poignant, happy..to name a few.

I couldn’t envisage how my life would be for the year 2007. I had battled with myself, torn between what I knew was right and what my desires were calling me to.Sometimes, I just thought is it my fault for half baking my theories? For not setting the timer to allow myself to heal ? For pushing myself too hard towards an impossible ideal? For letting that incident to continue rankle me? Should I forget as though there is no stigma attached?
Perhaps the answer is yes, and might be it turn out to be a no no.

Keeping the emotions at bay…I have to deal with patience. Patience is indeed one of the hardest characteristic to have but one of the noblest. It was a quality share by all the prophets and it is the quality often praise in the Quran. Struggling to loosen up,  I have to muster  much  fortitude to be patience which at some extend tears welled down my cheeks....

I remember a girl being skeptics about her mom aloofness after a heated argument. Her tone was one of the pure incredulity when she asked “are you still mad at me?”
Well, bless her pure soul for she couldn’t fathom why anyone continue to harbour resentment along the way after she pardons her wrongs quite effortlessly. The issues to her young mind seems uncomplicated and reflect that she is not judgemental or critical either.

Well, to follow this innocent infant’s gracious art of forgiving and forgetting is not that easy despite the enduring patience we have to bear.But for all the insurmountable challenges and hurts, should I wipe the slate clean? Only Allah knows my whispers and tears and only to Him I seek help.

9 Zulhijjah 1427 / December 30 2006

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What's Love Alone Got To Do With It ????????

Yesterday evening while at the cd-rama in popular scouring at no particular cd, my hand found one cd titled ‘ power of love ’16 great soft rock hits by various artists. It struck me hard somehow. The power of love ? Walking briskly from north to the south of the shop and dismissing the evil thought to teased my girl friend who is flipping through some of the love story novelsr..( sorry dear if u read this…hehe), I contemplated what does power of love means….I heard stories of men who made their wives’ lives miserable, treating them terribly and even withholding some of their basic rights – and yet claiming to love them desperately, refusing to let them go, afraid of losing them. I heard too women selling themselves, harming themselves for the sake of husbands who claimed to love them. They held on, year after year, hoping that those words of love would eventually bring an end to the neglect, insults or beatings – but it rarely happened. I was rather daunted by these stories . In short, I would say ..gila!!!

In essence, when you are not being given your rights and you are not respected, what has love got to do with it? At times like these, what does it matter if you still love your husband? Should you stick around and hold onto love, when everything else is gone?
Should you? Should you?

So basically I think, love is absolutely necessary in marriage. To me, I have to love my husband otherwise it would be incomplete. Yes, every women and men want to be loved and loved but one thing for sure is it wouldn’t be nice to live with love only without deen. Why ? At least if a man has deen, he will love for the sake of Allah, he will respect and honour you and give you your rights..As stated in Quran..

"O you who believe! You are forbidden to inherit women against their will, and you should not treat them with harshness, that you may take away part of the Mahr (dowry, bridal-money given by the husband to his wife at the time of marriage) you have given them, unless they commit open illegal sexual intercourse. And live with them honorably. If you dislike them, it may be that you dislike a thing and Allah brings through it a great deal of good."(An-Nisa’ 4:19)

And prophet Muhammad PBUH said:

"Among the Muslims, the most perfect as regards his faith is the one whose character is most excellent, and the best among you are those who treat their wives well." (At-Tirmidhi)

 The same applies to women – the deen that will make her treat her husband well, even sadly enough to say that she is no longer love him. So, in conclusion, the deen is the indispensable part of the marriage structure.

Furthermore, logically think, when a couple encountered problems, it wasn’t love they turn to, they will seek for something which can open the doors of communication and forgiveness, slowly but surely led the way back to the love tt they had one shared. And this can be found when one at peace. Peace can be obtained from the night prayer, supplication, and in short to the deen, to their faith.

So, in-my-narrow-understanding of Islam,I can see that among all, deen is the safeguard against ill-treatment.Why? As the spouses are not responsible to each other, they  are ultimately answerable to Allah.  Isn’t Islam beautiful?

So…what is love alone got to do with it?

Click here for deen.

p/s: i wrote in the previous post that the danger of emotion is that there are fickle...yes indeed it is... but the deen does not fluctuate according to your own whims an desires - it is constant...



December 27, 2006 / 6 Zulhijjah 1427

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With these songs, I wanted to captured a feeling of longing of someone that you missed and found it very hard to live without.
I thought a great of representing it that would be to imagine yourself alone on a beautiful island , cut off from the rest of the world.
A time and place where you could be at peace adn harmony but instead all you feel is how much you miss that other person..

Presenting to you....acoustic guitar instrumental....(my forever and ever favourite music)
Hope you enjoy listening to it.... smile..smile..smile... :)

p/s: am i sentimental or just mental ? urmmm....i dont know ... but i do know that the danger of emotions is that they are fickle...

4 Zulhijjah 1427 / 25 Disember 2006

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a meaningful stumble ......

"It may be that you hate something when it is good for you, and it may be that you love something when it is bad for you. Allah knows, and you do not know" (Surat al-Baqara, 216).



Therefore be patience with a beautiful patience. (Surat al-Ma'arij, 5)

22 Disember 2006 / 1 Zulhijjah 1427

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The hijab – liberating or oppressive ?

“And tell the believing women to lower their gaze, and protect their private parts and not to show off their adornment except that which is apparent, ant to draw their veils all over juyubihinna (i.e: their bodies, necks, and bosoms, etc.) , and not to reveal their adornment…”surah an-Nur 24:31

When I was young, clothes are frequently the battleground between my mom and me especially when it comes to wearing head scarf and proper attire albeit in English school.
Despite the dispute, I still obeyed her command unaware that actually those are the words from The Almighty. It is just her gnawing pain of my stubbornness that abstained me from wearing west. And this is the beginning to everything that I become now as if there is no going back that I have passed the point of no return and this is just because I have learn the truth about covering our beauty.

As I becoming an adult, there is an acute awareness about my surrounding environment.
Sometimes , I watched a guy past a girl and he will turn back and look at her legs or her chest and I just think, I would hate it if that happened to me. It doesn’t appeal to me, it is not flattering and I cannot understand how that can make a woman happy. To me it is nicer when a man passes by a woman and looks down. To me that is more respectful. Then at this point it triggered me somehow that men are created by Allah that way and had been ordered to lower their gaze. Thus woman cant fully blame on men if they were sexually harassed. That is why I myself feeling secure being covered and have  certain degree of anonymity. By that the sexual part of the body being anonymous because I don’t want my body to be ‘used’ by anybody – I want it to be my own and to give it to my only husband.

Why am I saying this? In our now society, women are subtly encouraged to pay attention to superficial concerns- looks, appearance, physical attractiveness- and the vanity and narcissism that accompany them. While many people are obsessed with this, the covered woman is not available for this type of exchange because she retains ultimate control of her body and how it is seen by others.

It is not if covering a whole body means that you are a fashion dead. Take a look in the majority of muslim societies and muslim countries from Pakistan to Malaysia to Saudi Arabia, women have perfected the art of looking good, albeit under their Islamic covering : they wear the embroidered saris, the gold trimmed Pakistani suits, shalwar kameez, the bejeweled lenghas with their full skirts, the hand-dyed boubous, the kaftans of west Africa, the Somali dira’ and gogorat. They even decorated their hands and feet with dye of henna powder, they line their eyes with kohl, they perfumed themselves with bukhoor, a fragrant incense. Even in Malaysia here we have baju kurung, baju kebaya, long skirt, nice long sleeve blouse, nice colorful selendang scarf and head scarf with embroidered lace accompanied with a very fashionable taste to wear in accordance with islam rules.

Another word is modesty. I still remember an Arabic woman in Universiti Sains Malasia mosque years and years ago when I was performing solah tarawikh there. That night of Ramadhan, she was wearing her creamy colored headscarf. It framed her face and then fell in folds over her neck and chest. I looked into her face and it seemed to me that her face was glowing and somehow in some way the headscarf only accentuated that. I was so taken with that sight and I stop to speak to her. After exchanging pleasantries, I blurted out a question “auntie,why do you wear headscarf?.” She said “ I want to be judged for what I said and do instead of my appearance”. So , when dressing in covering way, people are forced to dictate someone not by looking at her appearance but rather at what she do and talk.

So, my intent here is to expressed my own opinions after being ask by someone and in addition to that , as a muslim , I hope that my writings will make my beloved fellow friends out there and including myself pondering the meaning of covering our beauty in Islam although I am not an expert in Islam (I am just an engineering student). As I am a human being, I don’t run away from doing mistake so if it happened to hurt your feeling,please forgive me and correct me.

p/s: thanks yer imran…

December 20.2006/ 29 ZUlkaedah 1427

UPDATED::

I was asked by my female friend (thanks for asking) if the modesty really applied into hijab concept.
In my point of view, as i menationed earlier, when dressing in covering way, people are forced to dictate someone not by looking at her appearance but rather at what she do and talk. It means, you are not showing off your beauty but it doesnt means that by hijab you have to turn into a frump. Modesty is a real big scope in here. It doesnt just applied to clothings but also in behaviour.In my statement above, it is just an example of one way to show modesty and indeed it happened to be by hijab .

In my friendster message, I have mentioned to one of my male friend earlier,Modesty and clothes are two different things….a woman with nice clothes doesn’t mean that she is modest and being modest doesn’t means that she has to wear nice clothes…..i hope you can make a difference between these two….some how it is a plus point if that woman is modest with nice clothes on….

If ones grows to have fashion trends dictate one's style regardless of being modest or not, we should think that there will comes times when the charm begins to wear off and this will lead you beginning to wonder am i not more than the sum of my part? and what about when my body start to change from age, illness and pregnancies?....So, doest you agree with me that from these and other concerns that covering or by hijab, safe you or better i put in as liberates the Muslim woman.

December 21. 2006 / 30 Zulkaedah 1427


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~Bersama Masa ~

‘Kesenangan dan kesedihan adalah hal biasa,

yang mengiringi kehidupan,

semua itu tidak lain sekadar hiasan waktu,

yang silih berganti hadirnya untuk menguji,

masa berlalu biarlah ia berlalu,

maka manfaatkanlah waktu,

saat kau sedang menjalaninya..’

~ May that ALLAH steal from me, everything that steals me from HIM ~

19 Zulkaedah 1427H / 9 Disember 2006
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Kata mak suatu hari di akhir Ramadhan:
Sekiranya suatu masa kamu rindukan mak,
bacalah penawar hati, kitab Allah (AlQuran),
moga kerinduan kesuma itu akan terubat dan ingatan kesuma kembali kepada Yang Khaliq…

Kata mak lagi..
Setiap yang terjadi pasti ada hikmahnya.
Hidup ini adalah lakonan dan kita adalah pelakon-pelakonnya
Maka sabarlah dgn apa yg terjadi

Kata mak juga..
Duit , harta dan pangkat jangan dipandang..
Itu bukan apa yang kita bawa sebagai bekalan di akhirat nanti..

O’ Allah,
Possessor of Majesty, Magnificence, and Might
Let comfort take the place of sorrow,
Make happiness come after sadness,
And let safety take the place of fear


December 7 2006 / 17 Zulkaedah 1427

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“Ya Allah, Kau peliharalah mereka yang amat kusayangi dalam hidup ini ketika ku tidak dapat bersama mereka di sisi, tika dia jaga, tika dia tidur, tika dia gembira, tika dia duka, tika lara dan gundah, tika senang, tika sakit, ku memohon dengan rahmatMu ya Allah, letakkan mereka dalam sebaik-baik perlindunganMu, pandanglah dengan kasih sayangMu sentiasa..peliharalah mereka dalam sebaik-baik peliharaanMu…

sahabatku ...
Sahabat sepertimu sukar dicari, masakan dilupai..apatah lagi untuk dilupakan…

4 Disember 2006/ 14 Zulkaedah 1427H
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O ALLAH
Grant me serenity for the things i cannot change
Grant me courage for the things i can change
And grant me wisdom to know the differences
Ameen..~

di hatinya tersimpan satu rasa
sangat pedih tak terluah
sangat berat tak tertahan
sangat pilu tak terdengar esakan

berat
tapi perlu diteruskan
pahit
tetap perlu ditelan
sakit
pasti ada penawar

Monolog hati kepada hati....

Satu pagi yang hening.
"Don't wanna ruin your beautiful day even takde pelangi pagi-pagi buta ni.."

Siapa kata tiada?
pelangi itu selalu ada di situ.. di hati yang terdalam

 Dan biji-bijian yang berkulit dan bunga-bunga yang harum baunya.
 Maka nikmat Tuhan kamu yang manakah yang kamu dustakan?
(Surah Ar-Rahmaan 55: Ayat 12-13 )

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One of my beloved Mom's favorite song...

          "Quey sera..sera..what will be will be..."

[36:82] Sesungguhnya keadaan-Nya apabila Dia menghendaki sesuatu hanyalah berkata kepadanya: "Jadilah!" maka terjadilah ia. 

Sekarang ini baru saya faham kenapa "apabila Dia menghendaki sesuatu hanyalah berkata kepadanya: "Jadilah!" maka terjadilah ia !"   Betapa ALLAH memegang hati-hati manusia dan berkuasa mutlak atas segala sesuatu (yang sudah,sedang atau bakal terjadi)! Maha suci ALLAH!


 Allah tells us in the Quran that this life is a test for the believers and from time to time it will be difficult. The outcome is the important thing and we are not to worry about the discomforts of this life, rather look forward to the Next Life

Do people think that they will be left alone because they say: "We believe," and will not be tested.And We indeed tested those who were before them. And Allah will certainly make (it) known (the truth of) those who are true, and will certainly make (it) known (the falsehood of) those who are liars, (although Allah knows all that before putting them to test).
[Surah Al Ankabut 29:2-3]

Or think you that you will enter Paradise without such (trials) as came to those who passed away before you? They were afflicted with severe poverty and ailments and were so shaken that even the Messenger and those who believed along with him said, "When (will come) the Help of Allah?" Yes! Certainly, the Help of Allah is near!
[Surah Baqarah 2:214]

We see from this that indeed, our whole existence here on earth is all for one and only one, purpose: to be tested by Allah. The test is to see if we will worship Allah, alone without any partners. If we do, we pass the test. If we don't then we are really going to suffer in the next life.

This life is not our final abode and we are going to die and then be brought back on Judgment Day for examination and the be sent to the proper place according to our belief and our actions

Aku Tak Dapat Bertahan Lagi!!!!!
".....dan janganlah kamu berputus asa dari rahmat
Allah. Sesungguhnya tiada berputus asa dari rahmat
Allah melainkan kaum yang kafir"
-Surah Yusof ayat 12

Dan Tuhanmu berfirman:
"Berdoalah kepada-Ku, niscaya akan Kuperkenankan bagimu. Sesungguhnya orang-orang yang menyombongkan diri dari menyembah-Ku akan masuk neraka Jahannam dalam keadaan hina dina."

Kadang-kadang ALLAH sembunyikan matahari, ALLAH datangkan guruh dan hujan. Kita menangis dan tertanya-tanya ke mana hilangnya matahari, rupa-rupanya ALLAH hendak menghadiahkan kita pelangi!----maka dengan itu, bersabarlah dgn apa yg sedang berlaku sekarang.....insya allah...

Acknowledgement:my self
date: 15.November.2006 / 24 Syawal 1427H

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