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| Most of the research done on ADD has focused on males, because until recently studies suggested that four out of five children with ADD were boys. The focus on males may have to do with the fact that females with ADD are less likely to be hyperactive than boys and therefore draw less attention to themselves. Another reason why, might be because women suffering from ADD tend to seek treatment less often than there male counterparts. |
| The struggle with ADD is different for females than it is with males. This article's focus is to point out the struggles faced by females with ADD/ADHD, both at home and on the job. |
| For some women, ADD shows it's self in more subtle way, than it does for men. These women may be hypersensitive to criticism, have difficulty with the rapid give and take of group interactions, may feel socially "out of it" except in the company of one best friend. They may feel the need to be compliant, conform to teacher expectations, and not to draw attention to themselves. There distractibility may cause agonizing feelings for them due to teacher disapproval and embarrassment in front of peers |
| For some females ADD shows it's self with argumentativeness and defiance, which is seen more often in ADHD males. For these females, there is also the hyper-social and hyperemotionalism that is seen in many ADD females. They tend to be disorganized and have a low tolerance for stress. Life can be an emotional roller coaster. |
| Adolescence is difficult in general, when ADD is added to the mix, problems are amplified, and stresses are intense. For some females they can be shy, withdrawn, daydream, disorganized, and feeling overwhelmed. For others, they can be hyperactive, hyperemotional, and live life in a high stimulation and high risk mode. One thing that both types there is one thing that they tend to have severe premenstrual syndrome. |
| In teenage years, the neurochemical problems caused by ADD are greatly compounded by hormonal fluctuations. These combined dysregulated systems result in tremendous mood swings, hyper-irritability, and emotional overreaction. |
| Many females need to learn to establish a 'quiet zone' in their lives. Whether shy and withdrawn, or hyper and impulsive, females often tend to feel emotionally overwhelmed. It is important to learn stress management techniques from an early age, and to under stand the need for emotional time outs, to regroup after an upset. These females also tend to suffer from low self-esteem. Thus it is important for home to be a safe, criticism free, place to refuel and to rebuild the confidence that is so frequently eroded during the day at school/work. |
| Females with ADD typically feel that they are 'not good at anything' Their distractibility, impulsivity, and disorganization often results in mediocre grades/work evaluations. Likewise, they often don't have the stick-to-itiveness to develop skills and talents like many of their friends. It is important for family members of these females, help them to find a skill or ability, and then to praise them and recognize them for it. |
| Adulthood brings it's own batch of problems for the female. Many struggle with their own overwhelming sense of inadequacy in fulfilling the roles she feels are expected of her by her family and by society. They are often placed in the role of caretakers, both at home and on the job. Whereas males with ADD are advised to build a support system themselves, few women have the access to such a support system. Society traditionally expects the female to BE the the support system. |
| Many females tend to have support-type jobs that are relatively rigidly structured, such as administrative assistant. Often women find themselves in secretarial roles where they need to keep track of details. Since females are often socialized to please others, they may have trouble asking for help and accommodations at work. |
| added to on-the-job-stress, females are more than likely to confront multiple demands at home. These include planning the meals, maintaining the house and getting the kids in bed, just to name a few. |
| The job of a homemaker is never easy, but it is doubly difficult, for someone with ADD, because of the unpredictalbility. It is one of the least ADD-friendly jobs. There is lots of boring, repetitive, thankless tasks, with no structure, no raises, no promotions, constant intertuptions and few breaks. |
| In contrast, a job with structured requirements, a private office and support staff is much more ADD-friendly. |
| With divorce rates close to 50% among all marriages in the U.S., and divorce more likely when ADD is added to the list of marital stressors, it leads us to believe that there are many single ADD moms. These females are often dealing with chronic exhaustion and emotional depletion. |
| How can females with ADD manage their lives better? |
| They need to learn to give themselves a break. They need to learn to break out of a mold that doesn't fit them, can take time and effort. Psychotherapy with a therapist who really understands ADD issues can be helpful in shedding impossible expectations. |
| Along with breaking out of molds, females need to give themselves breaks in the form of daily 'time-outs' |
| Education by the female and her husband about ADD, and how it affects them. Together then, they can make home life more ADD accommodations and ADD friendly. |
| Simplification. Look for ways to reduce commitments. This makes the females life less pressed and hurried. |
| Look for a support group. Though females tend to be the support for their family, they still need one for themselves. They can find a friend to support them, or a ADD support group. |
| Don't place yourself in burnout. It is important for females to realize that they can't do everything themselves these days of dual income families. This leads to... |
| Eliminating and Delegating. By looking at the things that is required at home, the female can find things that can be eliminated or delegated. |
| Learning child behavior management techniques can help in the rearing of the children, especially ADD children. What many parents with ADD children knows is that they don't respond to the usual admonishments and limits. |
| For females getting help with PMS or Menopausal Symptoms can be very helpful. Managing the destabilizing effect of hormonal fluctuations is a critical part of managing the ADD. |
| Finally females need to focus more on the things they love, and be focused on by those who love them. These are women with ADD struggling valiantly against demands which are difficult if not impossible to meet. These females need not to measure their success in terms of made beds and washed dishes, but to celebrate their gifts-their warmth, their creativity, their humor, their sensitivity, their spirit. These females need people who can appreciate these qualities in them as well. |
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