I supposed this site hardly required something as excessive as a FAQ (especially with the lack of space to place the button and all) but in light of boredom, you'd be surprise at what I'm willing to do. So let's get to it, shall we? Allow me to get the most obvious question out of the way to those who click blindly on links on the internet--props to you our fellow malware magnets.

-What does FAQ mean?

           Well kings and queens of the Amish Kingdom, much to my disappointment, due to certain obligations as a school club site, it is not a misspelling. FAQ is an acronym which stands for Frequently Asked Questions.

-Why does the site only work correctly under certain conditions?

           Because the world as we know it doesn't always work the way we want it to. You can try to stand up to the world by accessing this site in Firefox or some other nonproprietary browser with the almost-blinding resolution of 1280x1024, but I can almost guarantee you that the world wins. If anyone is willing to volunteer to fix my site, go ahead; take my files and start hacking away at the hundreds of small tables that will lie before you (created from more mistake than intent). And when you're done, pat yourselves on the back and give me your site (keep no backup! backups = bad!) so I can trash it. In the end, you still lose; only now you would've successfully wasted several hours of your miserable lives.

-How did you make such a fantastic site!?!?! It's so WONDERFUL! I LOVE IT!

           .... hi honey...

-Why is my name spelled wrong in the Hours list?

           I realize that I'm not here to point fingers or slap faces, but this is such a crucial matter that it must involve finger pointing and face slapping! High school, people, high school. There is a line between cute writing to promote innocence and crazy attention seeking swirley lines of chaos that flies off in every direction! Then there are the scribbley write with both eyes closed kind of writing that makes me sick to the stomach. You try typing up 70 slips of paper, half of which are filled with advisory names like bunrap and pawovvl. If you want me to list you, don't try to be all original with your own handwriting. Originality is overrated; how do you think I got this site? I want generic dull plain-old block print. Heck, trace your name with stencils.

-What if I have some comment/suggestions for the site?

            Oh, suggestions or critical comments? Why must you people judge! It agonizes me and my mailbox!!! In fact, for every "suggestion" I get, I'll suggest you to go die. Just kidding. All suggestions are welcomed, as long as you don't spam/flame/seduce me with your emails.

-Why does the Hours page take forever to load?

            Let me enlighten you to the situation you have found yourself in. My friend, you are under the influence of the almost ancient form of data transfer: the legend of the dialup. "What's a dialup?" your children will say. I'm not going to accuse the malicious 56k for being fully responsible for the page load (aren't you glad, Ben?). <--(woah, what the demon. how do you punctuate that?) The problem turns out to lie in the unexplainable phenomena of residual data ghosting. Due to certain protocol effects and the placement of my tables onto the page, the memory addresses of that table becomes deeply rooted in the buffer of the data transfer from the server of geocities to your service provider. Because of this magnetism effect, your dumb computer becomes confused since it lacks the necessary data to reconstruct the table using the packets that it receives. Thus, your computer's ability to display the table becomes inhibited by the massive loss of data since the packets are being loss from the server to the ISP. As a fail safe, your computer is programmed to analyze the pattern of the memory algorithm base on the packets received and the most recent dumps of the trash  data. From this, memory is then allocated accordingly to the newly constructed table with the new set of information. The chain effect of this series of events leads to the misconstrued notion of slow load time from the server to your computer, while all this time, it is only your computer trying to figure out what information is not there, so it can make it there. Simple, no?

Is the above really true?

            No. I made it up just cause I can for no reason at all..... OF COURSE IT'S TRUE!!

Really?

            No.

Then why does it take forever to load the Hours page?

            iono... dialup?

-Oh! Could it possibly be that for some reason the table that you copied from Excel seemed to have possess a staggering amount of data in it? Say 180kb worth? OH OH! AND YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHY AND IT DROVE YOU NUTS FOR A WHOLE 5 MINUTES BEFORE YOU REALIZED YOU DIDN'T CARE?!

            Yup. Any ideas?

Can I email you and make conversations with you?

             No. My girlfriend will get jealous.

Does she bite?

             After she hunts you down.

What if I have more questions for you to waste your time on?

             Email me, Sherlock.

Okay, Watson.

            wth... that's not even a question....

and now my turn!!

-Why do you people not write your birth years on a slip that asks for your birthday?

            Are you one of those people that scrutinizes the technicalities of the question to find an answer that circumvents the actual implication of it to hide some secret? Oh come on, it's only a birth year. If you're gonna be that insecure about it, at least make up a fake one so that people wouldn't ask for it again later. I'm 16 and proud of it! See how easy that was? What takes the cake is that some people, in the middle of filling in their complete birthdates (complete with the last slash or dash), actually think of themselves lowly enough to pay any attention to the reader of the form. Honestly, what do I care? Or the people of Key Club, for that matter. Give us an ounce of our dignity back, please. If we were to care how old you were, we would've grouped everybody into little age groups to determine who gets the most ice cream (actually, I wouldn't put that past me.) So next time you feel the urge to leave out your birth year because you feel insecure about who's gonna read it and who they'll tell, refrain from putting yourself on the bottom rung of the ladder; if you're gonna fake anything, fake your email and AIM sheesh. You never know what lunatics these club people are. I have a club member stalking me right now. On a side note, congrats to those with new cell phones. I can almost see the self satisfying pride that leaps off the page because of all the happiness. And to those that don't have one, with their sad faces on the paper, my condolescences to you, the future successor of the Amish Kingdom.

(thans quyhn, forr pointing out my numeruos grammaticalfsalfj;as; and speilling errors.)

woah you got to the end; you people are freaks. or maybe you scrolled down.

Anyway, I realized I forgot to put any Key Club related things up there. HAHAHA. okay update tomorrow.

webmaster

Last updated: Monday, September 4, 2006