Three Words

it seems as though i am missing something

something that rots in the pit of my stomach

and sends the monsoons of nausea flowing through me

he leaves he goes he conquers

but what about me what am i here for

nothing

for nothing is what i am.

so why am i waiting

what am i waiting for

three words that are just that words

things that make brave men cowards and nobles dishonorable

he one which makes kingdoms fall and terror rise

what are the words i love thee and how can they cause so much chaos

i know not and yet it gives me much nights of sleeplessness

the tossing and turning the madness which toils inside me

the pure of it gnawing at my mind.. the torture of all torture

not knowing

being in the darkness and waiting of the abyss to turn into something familiar

and yet for some reason the familiarness does not comfort it ostracizes and it contradicts itself

for we end up finding bizarre alleviation in the solitude

the maze of deafening silence in which we wish to let out excruciating screams

the nothingness eats from the inside out.

it dissolves the tissue of hope and constitutes its unbearable pain

and all of this for three words which are just that

the symbols which when put together

establishes a monstrosity that not even the greatest genius can understand

and the theories build and vary and try to sugar coat the reality of the phrase

and it still does not help me.

wallowing in my confusion trying to fight my way through the webs of this thing

this entity of being

the one that causes all of this

i believe i am losing the battle therefore indefinitely.

losing the war.

and what about him.

what does he think.

i would indubitably sell my soul to know.....