Defying Gravity

They walked hand in hand out the front door of her building and on to the sidewalk. They said nothing enjoying the silence they shared with eachother. Sometimes, like these, there were no use for words between them. They seemed to be aware of every nuance and emotion of the other. They just walked hand in hand for a block and Mulder in his mind was trying to figure a way of telling her something she needed to know, but he couldn't get the words out.

"Dana..." he stumbled out.

"What is it Mulder?" she asked as she stepped away from him and paused on the sidewalk.

"I'm going to say something, but I'm afraid you'll take it the wrong way.."

"Try me." she said folding her arms in front of her chest.

"I have been your partner for five years, dragging you into my personal quest and putting your life at risk, and now that I'm examining my feelings for you and changing them a great deal... Damn it, Dana! I feel like I've been treating you like a just another part of my quest, and I know you deserve better then that!" He practically screamed the last words, out of anger or frustration she couldn't tell but this had been bothering him for a while she could see.

"Is this how you've been seeing me? All these years?" she asked incredulously.

He sighed and let the tension seep out of him and relaxed now that the pressure was off and she knew. "No, not since our first year together, but i haven't been behaving much better since then."

"That's not true Mulder you gave me respect and that was all I required from you. I've always know you were like this. I knew that this crusade of yours was the most important thing to you and I came into this relationship with that knowledge it was my choice and I have no regrets in making that decision."

He had no clue what to say to this. Every word she had spoken was true. In the last few days he had become aware of his behavior toward her but that she had known it all along! He couldn't belive it. Probably for the millionth time since their partnership began, he asked himself why she did it? Why didn't she put in for a transfer? Why did she hold on to their partnership? Why him?

As if reading his mind she said aloud, "And you've been wondering, but afraid to ask why am I doing this?"

He looked amazed that she could read his thoughts like that. "Well,..."

She looked at him as though she could not belive what he was saying. "And now you've come up with some notion that I was afraid? That I never wanted to do this? That you forced me somehow?"

He looked at her with a genuine wondering on his face and a little bit of apprehension like the the words she was going to say would change his life. "Have I?" he asked her, afraid of what she might say.

"Oh my God, Mulder! I love this work, I followed you because I saw the passion you had for finding the Truth and I admired you for it. How you could even think that you pushed me into this relationship is preposterous! You had the faith that the truth was out there and I followed you and that faith. Now I know that in my life the only man I wanted was y..." It was too late he had already heard her and she wasn't going to get away with that comment. Though she had practically yelled the last words and as angry as she was with him now she couldn't belive she had just said what she did. How could she let 5 years of closely guarded feeling get out of control and make themselves known like she had. < Dana you idiot! > She couldn't stand the look of shock that registered in his eyes when she had murmured that one syllable, she couldn't stand it any more, he could gloat but it would be without her. She turned on her heel and ran, she didn't care in what direction she just needed to get away from the question in his eyes, a question she was afraid to answer.

< OHMIGOD! Did hse just say what I think she just said. > was all he could think when he head her almost say it, the look that was in her eyes was pain and exposal, though he couldn't understand those, he knew that what she had just said was hard for a person like his strong independent Scully to admit. She started to run, he wanted to go after her but paused knowing that she'd be better once she burned some steam. He let her get half a block ahead before he gave chase. She still ran, "I'm going to get you eventually," he said half a block later. "You're going to pay for that."

"Get lost, Mulder!" she said angry more at herself then at him.

"Like hell. What kind of thing is that to say to a man anyway?"

"Shut up!" she yelled more angry at herself more then at him.

"No way, honey. You asked for this one."

"I didn't ask for anything, not from you." a stitch grabbed her side and she nearly moaned aloud.

"Aren't you tiring yet? do you have any idea what it does to a man to hear something like that? How long, Dana? Since we first met?"

She didn't answer she just kept running she didn't want to face these questions, her legs burned but she wasn't going to give in, no yet!

Damn he hadn't realized how good a runner she was, she must spend as much time jogging as he did. He'd buried the feelings he had for her because she was so obviously so uninterested.

She tried to make one more very quick dash before her legs turned to lead, she halted and bent over taking in deep gulps of breath. "What happened, Mulder? Why after all these years do you question our relationship?"

"I don't know," he admitted standing beside her throwing his head back to get some cool air on his face. "It was like a dam broke loosed over my head, call me crazy."

"You *are* crazy. You can't possibly expect me to belive you."

It always came to this no matter what the subject. She just couldn't believe him. Why not Scully? Why can't you believe me? he asked himself. "Why not?" he asked as he glared at her.

"Damn it, Dana! You don't think I kept my hands off of you just because you're my partner do you?"

"It's what you've been telling me for years."

"I lied. Hell you had so many 'No Trespassing' signs all over you that only a moron could have missed them. What made you put up all those signs anyway?"

"I never wanted to be wanted for my body alone, I was sick of that before I was sixteen."

"I guess I can see why." he admitted

Suddenly a door behind them opened and light strewed out onto the sidewalk.

"Is everything alright out here?" a man in a red terry cloth bathrobe asked.

Scully looked from Mulder, who had his head bent in frustration, to the man in the bathrobe "Everything's fine, sir."

The man looed from Scully to Mulder and gave him a warning look and then nodded and went back inside his house leaving the two again in darkness.

"Dana..."

"Just Shut up, Mulder! This is embarrassing!"

"That's why I was going to apologize."

She swivelled her head and peered up at him as if daring him to say it again. "You were?"

"Yes, I was. I'm sorry Dana, I'm never going to be a silk purse, come hell or high water, I'm not tactful and I'll probably going to make you mad in public again-"

She shot him a look that said "No shit."

"-I realize I don't have the kind of polish you want but-"

"No, not here Mulder, I'll get mad again. And leave me out of this I never told you what I want, and you never asked so don't make assumptions."

He stopped with this and he let her lead them back home. She hadn't given up on him yet. Still he knew he was good for more then just arguing with her, infuriating her and making love to her, he just couldn't figure out what else. He liked the relationship this way, right now and he wanted nothing to change it, but what about her? In the mean time, however, making love to her was *all* he wanted to do. World War III could start any minute and that wouldn't deter him. He was going to love this woman until she begged for mercy. Oh Yeah!

That intention only survived 30 seconds after they entered the house. As she pulled off her jacket she put her hand into her pocket to empty the contents of it, when he heard "Mulder?" and became alert to her. he turned to find her looking at a piece of paper in her hands, she held it out to him, he read it and looked up at her. "Where did you find this?"

"In my jacket pocket."

He reread the note and looked back up at her. "In your pocket?" It hit him like a hammer blow. The creep had been close enough to put something in her pocket. That close! My God!

MISS SCULLY I DON'T WANT TO HURT YOU BUT IT LOOKS LIKE I HAVE TO. I REALLY DON'T WANT TO BUT IT MUST BE DONE. YOU HAVE TO DIE.

Hours later--or at least it seemed to be hours later--Dana stood at the widow in her bedroom and stared down the darkened street. Never had the threat to her seemed more real then it did at this moment. Mulder had kept her pretty well distracted, she'd been either too mad or weak with desire nearly every minute of this roller coaster ride they were on. Not now though. She felt as though she were being stalked, every minute, she must be picking up Mulder's paranoia. The chilling thought was that he had found her that easily. Which meant he could kill her that easily.

The bedroom door behind her opened with a click and she turned around to see Mulder in the doorway. He slowly strode toward her and took her face in his hands.

"Are you okay?" he asked softly.

"Yes."

The word emerged on a breath that he knew she was lying. With a heavy sigh he released her and wrapped her in his embrace. He needed to hold her like this, he realized. To feel the contentment of her embrace was a need to him now. Only this was no time for content. Aching for her he gently rocked her from side to side. He would have given anything to make her smile now and make her feel safe. Damn it hadn't he told himself not to let anyone get this close to him again. He hadn't let any woman get closer then an arm's length away from him, and in all those years, yet here was Scully, Dana Scully, already curled up in a secret tender spot in his chest. What is she didn't want to be there?

He felt her arms close around his waist. Damn that felt good! Bending, he startled a laugh out of her by sweeping her up in his arms and carrying her to the bed.

"Bet you didn't guess I had it in me," he said laughing right along with her.

She caught her breath as his hands came and swept her sweater up and over her head.

"Tomorrow's the meeting on Parker's Point," he said as his fingers trailed upward on the satiny skin of her back. "Maybe we'll get this all settled tomorrow."

"And horses will fly." she tried to sound dry but at that moment she couldn't concentrate on anything except the feel of his hands on her skin. "Let's not talk about that now."

"Okay." his mouth was busy elsewhere anyway trailing along the skin of her shoulder and other forbidden places. And that hair, he combed his fingers through it marvelling in it's texture,color, and everything about it but he couldn't wait much longer as he reached for the hooks of her bra.

"You have the most beautiful, wonderfully gorgeous hair!" he breathed in her ear. Against the palms of his hands he felt her nipples harden. He was hardening, as well. He wanted to go slowly and draw out every precious moment, Dana was impatient, however, flaming beneath his caresses, twisting and tugging until she succeeded in tumbling them both out of the bed. The laugh that left he definitely held a triumphant quality, and made him laugh as well.

Finesse was lost as they tore at one another's clothes and Dana issued forth a huge satisfied sigh when, at long last, she was pressed fully against Mulder's nakedness.

He felt so good, everywhere as her hands roamed restlessly, soaking up every new inch of the varying textures of skin and hair. There was nothing soft or delicate about this man, she revelled in the hardness of his body the long thin torso was fully packed with manhood . It was the differences in them that made them so good together, she thought through her hazy pleasure. Just as their differing opinions made their professional relationship so stimulating.

Finally when she could stand no more of the bittersweet torture she rose effortlessly above him and sheathed him in her satiny softness. As they both came into full oblivion she knew that she knew the answer to Charles's question, she did love Mulder, but she did not know how long it would last but for now she would treasure these memories, for the long wintery days when things were back normal.