Have to go to Changi Naval Base tomorrow just because they need more people, I am unlucky and too hardworking. I am extremely unhappy about it. Got to go and meet somewhat new faces and adapt to another environment. And I expect it to be rather hostile as the RPs in Changi have shown obvious dislike for Brani RPs. The reason is because life is much harder then Brani. I am not sure exactly how I will react. But I am sure of the worst case scenario which is me killing as much people as possible before I kill myself. I already told the Brani RPs to inform them to have their coffins prepared. I am going to ORD soon already and I appreciate a boring, predictable lifestyle with only small surprises and problems to handle. Changi is not the only base who keep wanting people. And I am pretty sick of it all. I rather they settle things in a more violent manner. That way nobody will anyhow do things. Duels- that is the solution I will propose if possible. A small loss of lives under a set of rules to settle things so all will think twice before acting. There are a great deal of things I can say about serving National Service that are all negative but I do not want to get into trouble so I shall end this and other related subjects here.
I think I better just tell how I spent this day then try to relax, enjoy and not think so much.
I have a dark desire to die but I do not go and seek death on purpose. One of the worst thing about being alive isthe fact that you will fall sick sometimes.
Finally met my best friend today to go and see a movie together. I wanted to hug him but he ain't into such mushy stuff. He just wanted to spend time with me and talk only a little. I wanted to say all my woes. I guess he is busy doing his online maths test for Polytechnic which is all part of the steps to becoming an engineer at the end of it.
There is so much I wanted to say to him and the emotions and issues involved were sensitive stuff that my voice became very loud. It was so loud that a lot of people in the cinema turned around and wanted me to stop. So I had to stop.
We had pop corn, I had Ice Tea, he had coke. We both got our clothes really dirty. The movie was not entirely enjoyable as somewhere in the middle of it my fever and headache really acted up and made me very uncomfortable. Usually I would think twice when the ratings for a movie was more then PG. But I did not really care this time as I am with a dear friend. Actually I care and remember the memories I had with many people I meet. But some of them will never know that I care that much as they never ask. Or it is simply too mushy for me to just tell it to them. We watched "SwordFish" and the rating was NC-16. At first, I thought this was just an action movie. Why NC-16 and the showing of Identification Cards?
Then later on I had some ideas why- the language used, the topless scene of Halle Berry (she has a very nice body and very big breasts!), the violence and morality issues. The movie felt really twisted, it is not the first time I see a movie with the imagery of an exploding body but the amount of carnage is a bit too much too bear.
After the movie, I talked some more about myself and the things that happened including meeting that nice girl. Including how I was scared to make friends with a female person younger then me. Everyone has a dark side but I felt mine was from hell itself. I also told him what I told her and also one of the weird, fantastic, pleasant dreams I had. We really have not met for a long time and today is the first time he saw my gym membership card
and the DBS MoneySmart Debit Mastercard. He also asked if the LionHeart Chain I wore was made of pure silver which it is. And he also told me he had seen my shoes on this web site last night when we communicated by ICQ and phone.
I wanted to go home right away but I recalled that I need a new manual shaver as the one I used had rusted.
