Most of this day is okay except near dinner time when I decided to find something somewhat important. I asked mum if she knew where it was and she asked me to state clearly what it was. But it was all for nothing, she used her usual routine. Said that I was bothering her, whatever is mine is at my area, I am stupid all my life, I make so much noise all day and night, always bother her at dinner time and etc. Basically dumping all responsibilities and making me feel worthless and so sick of life that I really want to slash my wrists and kill myself. A simple 'No' from her would suffice. But Noooooo she must say all those hurtful things.
It is times like this when I wonder was I born to suffer. Should I just kill myself?
Went to get Stefanie Sun Yan Zi autograph for her third album on 28th of July 2001, also known as last Saturday. I could not get the autograph as the queue broke near the stage and it was raining. I did not have an umbrella with me so I backed out. Later on a male friend who was a camp friend came with his girlfriend to watch the Stefanie Sun Yan Zi concert at 7PM. He said he will meet me at the elevator of Wisma Atria. So we met, went to Lucky Plaza to window shop, his girlfriend did a little shopping, we also ate, drink and told him lots of stuff. He treated me to a free drink.
Then after a long wait the free concert began. Stefanie Sun tap danced, sang songs and also played the piano. There was also a late birthday celebration for her, presents from the staffs of Warner Music, there was a cake for her and she blew out the candles after making her wish. The last song she sang was "My Desired Happiness". But when she talked her voice was not very loud at all and she did not sang as well as the last time I saw her. It was as though she was a different person. Or was she just too tired?
Before she sang Yuki sang first and he seems to take up so much time. I don't like that male singer at all. After the concert was over, I went with my friend to get a drink and then went home by MRT.
Then yesterday also known as Sunday 29th of July 2001, I went out to watch a movie with one of my female pen pal. It was the first time I met her and first time I am watching a movie with just a girl. Before the movie we just window shop, I wanted to eat but the food available was not to my liking so I called mum to buy my dinner. I talked to my pen pal about various things from the point we met. She is a plump girl, could not speak mandarin, wore a revealing top, she has very big breasts, she had a very cheerful personality, can afford to spend more then I and it was an okay kind of experience.
I had to say this but I really like the other 17 yrs old girl that I had a meal with. Somehow I felt extremely at ease with her. I am never that at ease with anyone else in my entire life.
