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<center><h2>This is some of my poetry, well I guess you can call it that. Some of it is kinda depressing and angry, but I guess I mainly write this stuff when I get an overload of feelings and the need to pour them out. Anyway, enjoy and feel free to e-mail me with comments!</h2>
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<h3>Here's links to my poems!</h3><br>
<a href="#all_american">An All American Girl</a>
<a href="#alluring">Alluring</a>
<a href="#bitch">Bitch</a>
<a href="#black_holes">Black Holes</a>
<a href="#dream">Dream</a><br>
<a href="#empty&alone">Empty & Alone</a>
<a href="#feeling">Feeling</a>
<a href="#helpless">Freeing the Helpless</a><br>
<a href="#burned">Getting Burned</a>
<a href="#have">Have you ever...</a>
<a href="#hollow">Hollow</a>
<a href="#dark">In the Dark</a>
<a href="#night">In the Midst of the Night</a>
<a href="#jaded">Jaded</a>
<a href="#myself">Leave Myself</a>
<a href="#misinterpretation">Misinterpretation</a>
<a href="#moonbeam">Moonbeam Redemption</a>
<a href="#senses">Senses</a>
<a href="#sweet">Sweet</a>
<a href="#tainted">Tainted</a>
<a href="#under_the_glass">Under The Glass</a>
<a href="#vulnerable">Vulnerable</a>
<a href="#world">World of Wrong</a>
<a href="#sin">Your Sin</a></center>
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<a name="sweet"><b><em><font color="#4682B4">SWEET</font></em></b></a>
<hr width=10%>sweet lover come to me <br>to taste my bitter sweet <br>let it drip between your thoughts <br>to mess up your dreams <br>let it lick your wounds <br>for tears it bleeds <br>to shed upon your body <br> it needs what you need <br>it dresses you in razor blades <br> to lap your blood for its sweet taste <br> as rainbow rain <br> it falls into puddles in your lap <br>to scent you with the dust of time <br>to bite your criminal self <br>who loves the seasons of the dark <br> which advance the history of the world <br> so you can taste my bitter sweet</center></p><TD>
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<TD ALIGN=CENTER><font color="#008080"><center><a name="moonbeam"><b><em><font color="#4682B4">Moonbeam Redemption</font></em></b></a>
<hr width=10%>lying there <br>dark, remote, and blue <br>then the moon shines silver upon you <br>turns you pale and white <br>your hair turns soft to rays of light <br>I see you there <br>changing bright <br>beams reach out for your hands <br>while slowly changing every strand <br>from blue <br>to you <br>the one I knew <br>shining bright <br>with moonbeam light</center></p><TD>
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<TD ALIGN=CENTER><font color="#008080"><center><a name="alluring"><b><em><font color="#4682B4">Alluring</font></em></b></a>
<hr width=10%>your kiss is soft and sweet <br>it beckons me <br>you lure me in <br>you know what I crave <br>love is not found here <br>lust is prominent <br>your touch thrills <br>it breaks my will <br>I drink up your gaze <br>intoxicating me <br>I sense you power <br>overtaking <br>I am yours <br>for all your wishes<br>all for those damn kisses</CENTER></p><TD>
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<a name="vulnerable"><b><em><font color="#4682B4">Vulnerable</font></em></b></a>
<hr width=10%>sudden, fast <br>you attack <br>you slash and cut <br>my insides out <br>I lie there open <br>for all to see <br>strewn apart <br>now you can see <br>glance at what makes me <br>deep and complicated <br>messy and bright <br>oh, please <br>don't dig too deep <br>please, I weep <br>would you be so sweet as to put me back <br>piece by piece</CENTER></p><TD>
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<a name="tainted"><b><em><font color="#4682B4">Tainted</font></em></b></a>
<hr width=10%>your soul can always reach me here<br>the body still lying on the chair<br>tear drops, wet upon my cheeks<br>the only tears I've ever weeped<br>I kiss his lips<br>they're cold as ice<br>for all his life<br>he did fight<br>his love was his weakness<br>me the sickness<br>tore him apart<br>stopped his heart<br>with tainted blood<br>it flooded through him<br>it left my ill within<br>slowly brought him to his knees<br>now gone is he<br>who's to taint me</center></p><TD>
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<a name="bitch"><b><em><font color="#4682B4">Bitch</font></em></b></a>
<hr width=10%>it's you <br>it's me <br>it's we <br>we sin <br>we win <br>I lie <br>you cry <br>bitch</CENTER></p><TD>
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<a name="jaded"><b><em><font color="#4682B4">Jaded</font></em></b></a>
<hr width=10%>he was once a little boy<br>who could be amused by simple toys<br>but, the world no longer amuses him<br>he's seemed to grown an outer skin<br>to shut out me<br>to protect you from him<br>he makes me hurt inside<br>to see him run and hide<br>I remember his smile<br>when he was a child<br>once I was his confidante<br>now I too, he does not want<br>his beauteous eyes<br>once luminated<br>now jaded<br>the one I adored<br>has hence retired<br>my body crys everytime I see your empty soul<br>how I wish I could make you whole<br> I can not rescue that from you which was stole<br>yet, my anguish will not diminish</center></p><TD>
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<a name="under_the_glass"><b><em><font color="#4682B4">Under the Glass</font></em></b></a>
<hr width=10%>I glance into the glass<br>it's filled no more<br>but, it's been filled many times before<br>the tears appear<br>they make us shine<br>just like we're under the glass<br><br>under the glass<br>everyone's fast for passion<br><br>under the glass<br>the past shadows the impending<br><br>you sip the succulent elixer<br>just to repair the picture<br>which was never meant for framing<br><br>under the glass<br>partake in violence<br><br>under the glass<br>covet the carnal<br><br>you sip the succulent elixer<br>just to repair the picture<br>which was never meant for framing<br><br>I glance into the glass<br>it's filled no more<br>but, it's been filled many times before<br>the tears appear<br>they make us shine<br>just like we're under the glass</center></p><TD>
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<a name="hollow"><b><em><font color="#4682B4">Hollow</font></em></b></a>
<hr width=10%>I know not what to say<br>my mouth lays agape<br>I always give<br>you always take<br>I never know when to say stop<br>I feel like Maxwell's House Coffee "good to the last drop"<br>what shall I do when I'm empty<br>with nothing left give<br>as a skeleton I will live<br>empty - without a soul<br>just a ghoul<br>as I pass you on the street<br> I wonder why you did this to me<br>why I let it be<br>there is no one else for me<br>I'm empty</center><TD>
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<a name="dream"><b><em><font color="#4682B4">Dream</font></em></b></a>
<hr width=10%>hate hurts<br>fate burns<br>love stings<br>yet, she stills sings<br>of life that wasn't there<br>things that were not shared<br>of our fate<br>our hate<br>and she tells you this<br>with one sweet kiss<br>dream my sweet<br>or face the heat<br>'cuz either way<br>we end<br>up dead</center><TD>
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<a name="black_holes"><b><em><font color="#4682B4">Black Holes</font></em></b></a>
<hr width=10%>they're open voids of mirror<br>I look and see myself appear<br>if only this was truth to me<br>if I was the one that you could see<br>I lose myself inside your eyes<br>I cry the tears you'll never cry<br>your gaze<br>takes me to an euphorian place<br>those two bright orbs<br>upon your face</center><TD>
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<a name="all_american"><b><em><font color="#4682B4">An All American Girl</font></em></b></a>
<hr width=10%>Suzy is a little girl<br>who lives in a messed up world<br>her dad practices the physical<br>her mother the alcohol<br>her sister's a druggie<br>her brother's gone mental<br>she lives to fear her daddy<br>she lives to scold her mommy<br>she used to do the laundry<br>she used to clean the mess<br>until one day her daddy<br>worked his way up her dress<br>her mommy can not help her<br>she's passed out on the floor<br>her sister's at the neighbor's<br>snorting coke<br>her brother's nowhere to be seen<br>he left in '93<br>so at night she sits and crys<br>wonders what she's done to put up with this torture<br>then she decides to run<br>she takes what few things she has & ends up on the street<br>where she begs and steals for food & doesn't know where she'll sleep<br>if you sit and read this poem and think<br>"oh dear, that's sad"<br>just think over your life and maybe it's not that bad<br>so, the next time you sit and whine to you friends<br>just remember Suzy's in a gutter somewhere dead</center><TD>
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<a name="senses"><b><em><font color="#4682B4">Senses</font></em></b></a>
<hr width=10%>comfort<br>like a sweet embrace<br>soft<br>like fleece upon your face<br>harsh<br>like fire in the wind<br>angelic<br>like those who have not sinned<br>bright<br>like the sun in your hair<br>dark<br>like your dreams, nightmares<br>sharp<br>like razors on your skin<br>sweet<br>like nectar that's within<br>such is life all full of love<br>but cuts like a knife<br>deep<br>then dull</center><TD>
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<a name="have"><b><em><font color="#4682B4">Have you ever...</font></em></b></a>
<hr width=10%>have you ever felt the need to be loved<br>wondered if it will ever come<br>sat there looking at the stars<br>pondering which one's yours<br>looked into the swirling clouds<br>waiting for a face to emerge<br>stared across an ocean<br>picturing who's on the other side<br>wished you had wings<br>to see how high you would fly<br>cried yourself to sleep<br>wondering if you'd find love before you died</center><TD>
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<a name="world"><b><em><font color="#4682B4">World of Wrong</font></em></b></a>
<hr width=10%>I wish this world was one that I could understand<br>it seems that nothing ever goes as planned<br>there's always more wrong than right<br>I want to hold and hug you tight<br>say it's always right in the end<br>but we all know that's just pretend<br>I cry more often than I should<br>I want to help, I wish I could<br>love is what I try to give<br>to make things better, so you'd want to live<br>but, most times I just lose hope<br>It's hard enough for me to cope<br>with all the fucked up things in our heads<br>it's hard to face life without dread<br>I'll stop my crying<br>if only it was worth trying<br>for I'd sit and hold you all night<br>but, it'd never make things right</center><TD>
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<a name="burned"><b><em><font color="#4682B4">Getting Burned</font></em></b></a>
<hr width=10%>what to do when you're a slut<br>not in the sense of the word, never fuck<br>just anything but<br>it never seems wrong<br>always right<br>isn't it just mutual enjoyment<br>yet, tomorrow it'll hurt<br>conversation ceases<br>everything falls to pieces<br>'oh, did you actually think I cared'<br>you've been used<br>I'd like to say it isn't bad<br>there's not too many guys I've had<br>some realize it's all in fun<br>but, then there's those that feel the burn<br>don't worry<br>I'm waiting for my turn</center><TD>
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<a name="helpless"><b><em><font color="#4682B4">Freeing the Helpless</font></em></b></a>
<hr width=10%>how do you help the ones you love<br> who do not believe their lives have value<br>can't seem to get their faith in life<br>call their names<br>sing them praise<br>tell them to cherish everyday<br>make them stay<br>it doesn't do any good<br>try all you want<br>you fail miserably<br>they won't listen to what you say<br>if they do it can't make them change<br>only they have the power<br>to open their mind<br>to learn & rebuild from what is left<br>only they<br>can free themselves</center><TD>
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<a name="sin"><b><em><font color="#4682B4">Your Sin</font></em></b></a>
<hr width=10%>do you know how it hurts?<br>being punished when you've done no wrong<br>under attack<br>verbally assaulted<br>stabbed in the back<br>repeatedly<br>cut down<br>no room to breathe<br>then forced to your knees<br>humiliated like before<br>not knowing what you've done<br>the reason you break again<br>the battle you never win<br>crying in confusion<br>accepting the abuse<br>just not comprehending<br>what's your sin</center><TD>
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<a name="leave_myself"><b><em><font color="#4682B4">Leave Myself</font></em></b></a>
<hr width=10%>I'm starting to wonder why<br>why do I even cry<br>nothing is really sad<br>nothing is really bad<br>yet, I seem to feel the world tumbling down<br>with me surrounded by rubble<br>I don't mean to cause trouble<br>I'm just feeling trapped (like in a bubble)<br>forgetting reality<br>blurring my view<br>leaving responsibility<br>changing my hue<br>what can I do to get back on the track<br>I'm sick of de-railing<br>of being a wreck<br>can I just get some rest<br>from my warped self</center><TD>
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<a name="feeling"><b><em><font color="#4682B4">Feeling</font></em></b></a>
<hr width=10%>I feel this pain in my soul<br>throbbing 'til my head is full<br>so much stronger than I remember<br>my vices thrown<br>my anethesia<br> used to numb the pain<br>it emerges again<br> no longer smothered<br>I don't know if I can stand this<br>sharp, distinct feeling<br>with nothing to distract me<br>it's so hard to feel</center><TD>
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<a name="dark"><b><em><font color="#4682B4">In the Dark</font></em></b></a>
<hr width=10%>the world is bright<br>I'm lost in the dark<br>I hear a cry<br>it's only me<br>I see the light<br>it's only a dream<br>I look for you to ease the pain<br>I some how think you'll solve everything<br>even if you could<br>I can never find you<br>no matter how hard I try<br>I think I look in all the wrong places<br>end up running all the worng races<br>ones that I never win<br>because I'm lost within</center><TD>
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<a name="empty&alone"><b><em><font color="#4682B4">Empty & Alone</font></em></b></a>
<hr width=10%>do you fell the emptiness, too<br>or is it only me<br>are you surrounded by friends<br>but still alone<br>at night you hear the quietness of your soul<br>shivering, empty, and cold<br>where may he be<br>the one who should be here, near me<br>is he too feeling the cold<br>pondering why he's alone<br>yet, still feeling almost full<br>living life like there's not tomorrow<br>yet, without tomorrow<br>what great sorrow<br>to die empty and alone<br>so, even though I may live much longer<br>is it worth it all alone<br>when you're missing that warmth in your soul<br>that companion to hold<br>even though I'm surrounded by friends<br>I've never felt so alone</center><TD>
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<a name="night"><b><em><font color="#4682B4">In the Midst of the Night</font></em></b></a>
<hr width=10%>I struggle to remember your eyes<br>the taste of your skin<br>your smell, like fresh summer air<br>warm breath embracing me<br>the feel of your soft lips<br>your presence<br>in the midst of the night</center><TD>
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<a name="misinterpretation"><b><em><font color="#4682B4">Misinterpretation?</font></em></b></a>
<hr width=10%>your heart is what I crave<br>with my lust a road I pave<br>I seek your mind<br>but I always find your body<br>sex is what I get<br>love is what I lose<br>but, somehow I'm not feeling used<br>now you leave and pull away<br>although I plead with you to stay<br>what did you expect from me?<br>sex, I guess<br>you got it from me and now you leave<br>I always knew you would<br>at least the sex was good</center><TD>
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<hr width=10%>why do I feel this way<br>why do I feel lost in pain<br>confused & alone<br>alone with myself<br>the only solutions seems to be more pain<br>tug of the skin<br>prick with a pin<br>pull of the blade<br>burn it away<br>yet, it still fuckin' stays<br>it just won't leave<br>more, is that it?<br>as i pull up my sleeve<br>will this quell your appetite<br>it doesn't help to put up a fight<br>no matter what it comes back again<br>who the hell ever let you in<br>you with your open ended invite</center><TD>
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<hr width=10%>so, you too are now lost<br>with all the others<br>like stars, bright and twinkling<br>visable all the time<br>yet, unatttainable<br>so, here I am again<br>alone with my companions scarce<br>I can't even keep myself company<br>I can't fool myself<br>I can't make me smile<br>I'm not optimistic<br>I need someone to lie to me<br>let me believe in their lies<br>so let me love you in a world of falsehood<br>because only then will I be happy<br>when I can escape reality<br>no wonder no one loves me<br>just let me love you</center><TD>
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<hr width=10%>I see you<br>your smiles and frowns<br>yet what goes on in your head is a mystery to me<br>so we play this silly game<br>you reading me like a book<br>but forgetting that I'm untranslatable<br>and I couldn't read you if I brought a magnifying lens<br>so this game we play<br>pretending we know what we're doing<br>but we really can't decipher the language</center><TD>
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<hr width=10%>you make me feel like a caffeine addict<br>this habit is just too hard to break<br>what little you offer<br>like an exotic coffee, I savor every drop<br>while knowing I'm only feeding my addiction<br>I try to quit you, before you break my heart<br>because you're already hurting me & I don't even know you yet<br><br>if you knew what you did to me, would you stop?<br>because in case you don't realize<br>you're breaking my heart<br><br>I thought you were a random & I could discard you in the trash<br>but little did I know you're recyclable & you showed up once again<br>looking shiny & new<br>so you deceived me into believing that I wasn't being used<br><br>if you knew what you did to me, would you stop?<br>because in case you don't realize<br>you're breaking my heart<br><br>and that little bit of bottle<br>that I'd shattered on the floor<br>just so you couldn't show up once again at my door<br>lodged under my skin, like a personal ID<br>that constantly reminds me you've been here before<br><br>if you knew what you did to me, would you stop?<br>because in case you don't realize<br>you're breaking my heart<br><br>while I dig into myself<br>to dislodge your dirty memories<br>I wonder which is worse the wound or the scar<br><br>if you knew what you did to me, would you stop?<br>because in case you don't realize<br>you're breaking my heart<br><br>for you reak like stale cigarettes in an ashtray in my heart<br>but when lit there's so much pleasure that I can't stand to part<br><br>if you knew what you did to me, would you stop?<br>because in case you don't realize<br>you're breaking my heart<br><br>I try to quit you<br>because you're hurting me & I don't even know you yet</center><TD>
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<hr width=10%>her fragrance permeates the air<br>intoxicating us all<br> no one wants to pick the flower<br>for fear she'll wither & die<br>but she's already dead inside<br>she's just waiting for you to smell the stench</center><TD>
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