I hopped out of my car and ran up the walk to the house I grew up in. It was exactly as I had left it. Green with red shutters and a basketball hoop over the garage. The mesh net had come down in a vicious game against my brother. The flowers were blooming in the warming weather and the trees had bright green leaves. It smelt like rain, though there were no clouds in the clear Kentucky sky. Both of my parents had parked their cars parked in the driveway. They never used the garage, as it was filled with sports equipment. We're a big athletic family. I could hear the family dog, Chubbs, barking.
I opened the screen door and stepped into the foyer. The smell of home cooking reached my nose. I heard laughter from the dining room. 'Sunday dinner at the Littrells', I thought. Aunt Ann, Tim, Jerald, and Kevin would be there. My brother, Harold, would be there. My parents would be there.
I stopped outside of the entrance to the diningroom. I could tell they were talking. But I felt so distant from my surroundings that I couldn't make out any of their words. My mom noticed me first. "Is that my baby duck?" she asked.
"Don't call me that," I said harshly before thinking. "You lied to me. All of you."
My entire "family" had bewildered looks on their faces. Except for Kevin. He knew this was coming. He's the one that told me the truth. Not the whole truth. None of them knew the whole truth. How could they have possibly have known? I just would have liked them to tell me what they DID know.
"What are you talking about son?" my dad finally broke the silence.
"Why didn't anyone tell me? Why did I have to find out now, this late in my life? I mean c'mon," I rambled, more to myself than to anyone else.
"Brian, you're not making any sense," Aunt Ann told me gently. "Why don't you just say what you're trying to say?"
My gaze turned to her. 'Easy for her to say,' I thought. 'She doesn't have to admit to herself that the people she trusted lied to her.'
I looked at each of my family members. Not just at them, but straight into their eyes. I wanted to see if they knew where I was going with this. My mom looked dumbfounded. My dad looked confused. Aunt Ann looked sympathetic. Jerald and Tim looked to be deep in thought. Kevin's eyes were downcast. He already knew. Harold squirmed in his chair. He knew.
"Harold," I suddenly spoke, "you know where I'm going with this don't you? You know."
"What are you talking about Bri?" he replied, looking away from me. "I don't know what you're talking about."
"Look at me and say that," I challenged. He tried, but failed, "see. You know."
"What does Harold know Brian," my dad asked.
"He knows what I'm getting at," I told him.
"What would that be?" my mom finally spoke.
How could they play dumb for this long? How? They say that they love me, yet they hide something this important from me. Something that affects my life. I couldn't take it anymore.
"Why the hell didn't any of you tell me that I was adopted?" I yelled.
Chubbs ran from the room.
Copyright Kentucky Girl 2001