It seems that lately, everytime I do something, people have to question me. I decide to stop talking to someone, I get interrogated to no end; I quit a rock band I was supposed to play with, I get questioned as to why; I don't enjoy playing the violin very much right now, people are amazed and want to know why. Here's my answer: why the hell not? Ok, I had to say that. But seriously, aren't people allowed to change their minds and their activities? I thought they were...at least last I checked.

Why did I decide to stop talking to somebody? It had something to do with my growing up and realizing that the friendship was not healthy for me or for the other person. Whose decision was it to make? Mine. Who questioned me? Everyone that knows me and the other party involved. Do I know what I did to her? Do I know that now she's gonna take some kind of drastic measure and it will be all my fault? Personally, I don't care. Sounds harsh doesn't it? Well, it's true. Since I stopped interacting with this person, I am myself again. I'm happy almost all the time (which is not impossible). And you know what? I like it!

The band. Let me explain this one. 'Cause it is actually quite funny. I was asked to be the lead female singer in a rock band. That was it. I was cool with that. Then, they tell me that I will be singing and playing the drums at the same time. First of all, that is quite a feat. Second, I don't play drums. I have never played the drums. I wouldn't know where to start. Now, mix in the fact that I have very little spare time to begin with. So, I told them that I couldn't do it anymore. And I get called on it. Who the hell are they to say that I'm making a bad decision and putting them in a bad position? I haven't been to any rehersals yet. Besides, what did they do to me? Put me in a good position? Having to learn a new instrument and then sing new songs on top of it? Did they think that maybe I didn't feel I could handle it? Now before you start e-mailing me with your comments, listen. I did try to tell them that I couldn't do drums and sing. They brushed it off and ignored me. And now, they're mad that I quit. It doesn't make sense to me that they should be mad. I'm not even mad. And I probably should be. But I'm not. I actually think that the whole thing is kind of funny.

Ive been playing the violin for seven years. Doesn't it make sense that after that long, I'd get a little tired of it? No, I don't really want to quit. That would be too drastic for me. The violin is a part of me. I'm just tired of it. So why do I get questioned by the other people in my orchestra? Because I'm first chair? I think that would make it get tiring more quickly than if I sat in the back. I'm always chosen for the all-county orchestras and the special things and I make in to the chamber orchestra. In all of which, I have to play classical music. Some contemporary stuff is included, but it is all the same. It might as well be another Beethoven or Bach or Mozart piece as far as I'm concerned. Maybe I should rephrase this...it's really the violin that I'm tired of I guess. It's the music that I have to play that causes me to get tired of playing the violin. I'm sick of the same-old music that always sounds the same. I want to play jazz and pop. That's the kind of music that makes the violin fun for me. I think that the most fun I've ever had playing the violin came last year when I played a Backstreet Boys ("Quit Playin' Games") song on my local radio station. It was pop. It was fun.

Why is that people find it so hard to understand all of the stuff that I just said? Is it really that complicated?