| Bozo in Dallas - The Triumph and the Tragedy |
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| how about Bozo sitting at the breakfast table wearing his costume while his mom fixes his breakfast. She is wearing her housecoat and all that shit that she wears all day. She prepares a bowl of Fruit Loops with sour milk, some warmed up uh macaroni and cheese, and some toast that is black as coal. Bozo scrapes the char off the bread and rinses the Fruit Loops under the sink. Then he puts some peanut butter on the bread and tries to make a peanut butter and cheese sandwich using the macaroni. He takes a bite out of the sandwich and throws the sandwich and the Fruit Loops in the trash, and says he has to catch the bus. Then she uh puts a sandwich and a rubber chicken in his lunch box and she tells him she put the rubber chicken in the lunch box so he won't forget it. |
| At the risk of being incredibly corn-ball, but as an homage to Kubick, we see Bozo coming fown a long alley. The camera has a wide angle shot from a low angle so that Bozo's clown feet look huge. The camera is on a track so that as Bozo strides purposefully forward, the fanfare from 2001 is playing. He is carrying his lunchbox and a skateboard and a bottle of seltzer water, and maybe a boombox for the 2001 music. As the fangare reaches an end, Bozo takes a header and the lunch box flies open, and the rubber chicken flies through the air. |
| As the motorcade enters Dealy Plaza, the camera follows the limo as in the Zapruder film. Among the pedestrians in the background the camera pans across Big Bird and Ronald McDonald. There is a close up of Bozo lighting a cigar. Then a wide shot from Zapruder's position showing Bozo with his elbows out as he lights the cigar. Then of course Bozo gets shot in the head and confetti comes out. A big chunk of his wig lands on the trunk of the car. |
| As far as how Boz gets in the limo, I think the easiest way is for Bozo to be the President. As he is getting in the limo, Oswald is buiding the fortress of cardboard boxes. When he is complete, we see a small footlocker. Oswald opens the locker and we see a disassembled sniper rifle with a scope and a Howdy Doody puppet. As the motorcade approaches, looking in the window of the depository we see Howdy lowered into position by his strings. The puppet is shown firing the rifle. For the shot we can use a Howdy Doody puppet and a real arm working the bolt and pulling the trigger. |
| As Bozo is wheeled into the emergency room, a doctor with a stetoscope takes his pulse. In the background there is a guy limping around and talking to another intern, pointing to his back and his wrist and his leg. Bozo dies and a fountain of blood gushes out of the trick flower in his lapel. |
| This concept reminds me of the films Airport 75 and Airplane. I can imagine the makers of Airplane watching Airport 75 in order to decide whether to make a satire. As soon as they see the nun with the guitar serenading Karen Blair, they decide to do it. |
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| This is some fucked up shit. |
| Yowsa |
| Big Bird and Ronald McDonald are on the grassy knoll. They are in their regular costumes except for army helmets. They both have machine guns and hand grenades. As Ronald blasts away, Big Bird pulls the pin on an grenade and lobs it at the motorcade. Or they have a mortar and as Ronald blasts away, Big Bird is launching mortar rounds. |