“The Quest for the Biggest Sword”

NekoCon VI 2003

Best in Show Skit

Narrator: Long long ago, in a faraway land, there was a quest that occurred much stranger than planned. It started one day the sun shining bright, when noble InuYasha made known his true plight.

 

InuYasha: The Shikon jewel is becoming old fast, and I want a reputation that always will last.

 

Kagome: Then why don't you prove yourself the strongest of all, with a sword like yours you can truly stand tall.

 

InuYasha: You're right, I am certain that it's the biggest of all, but since we need a plot, let's ask the pervert of the wall.

 

*The two walk across stage to where Miroku is*

 

InuYasha: Pervert pervert on the wall, who has the biggest sword of them all?

 

Miroku: Out in the west and across the land, there is one named Bankotsu with a powerful hand. His sword is the biggest of any I've seen, especially shocking since he's only a teen.

 

InuYasha: This cannot be so, I won't heed this word. From here I'll go and prove this absurd. My sword is the biggest, it just no contest. I'll fight this Bankotsu and prove I'm the best.

 

*The three walk across the stage to where Sango stands*

 

Narrator: And so their journey began, they went off on their quest- InuYasha to prove his sword was the best. Then lo and behold, a fair maiden they spied- and the perverted monk, her figure he eyed.

 

Miroku: Fair maiden, we've traveled for many a day.

 

InuYasha: We seek Bankotsu, his title to slay.

 

Kagome: It's said that his sword is the best in the land.

 

InuYasha: So I will defeat him, with the sword in my hand!

 

Sango: I understand my friends, but the rules doth say- First you disgrace me, then pass you may.

 

Miroku: We must disgrace you in order to pass? Then I'll place my hand upon your...

 

*word gets cut off as Sango screams and slaps him*

 

Narrator: So the four journeyed on, 'til the target was in sight

(*group looks off towards the side Bankotsu is entering from*)

And then they readied for the ultimate fight.

 

*Bankotsu enters*

 

Bankotsu: Who dares to enter into my domain? Are you lost travelers or just insane?

 

InuYasha: I've traveled from afar, your title to take- since the fact you have it must be a mistake.

 

Bankotsu: You think your sword is really the best? Surely my friend, you must mean to jest.  If it's a battle you want then I challenge you now, but to prove yourself a real man, I'll tell you how.

 

InuYasha: A real man you say? Then tell it to me straight. Get done with this babble, I'm sick of the wait!

 

Bankotsu: If you do insist, but I'm sure you'll regret- since no one has ever won this challenge yet. They say it's the hardest in all the land- to be glomped by a gay guy with a roving hand.

 

Sango: By a roving hand you say? *eyes Miroku*

 

Miroku: Don't look at me! I am not gay! And since I feel I must protest, let me place my hand upon your...

 

*Miroku gropes her breast, Sango slaps him again*

 

Kagome: InuYasha do you think you can pass this test?

 

InuYasha: Of course I can! I'm always the best. No silly challenge will cause me to fear, especially if all it is is a queer.

 

Bankotsu: Then meet my companion, Jakotsu's his name, and we'll see if you can hold true to your claim.

 

*Jakotsu comes out, and Bankotsu points to InuYasha. He squeals and glomps him*

 

Jakotsu: Hey there cutie...what do you say?

 

*InuYasha screams and runs offstage*

 

Kagome: Wait! InuYasha, don't run away!

 

Jakotsu *eyes Miroku* You're not bad either, if I do say so...

 

Miroku *runs off after IY* I guess that it is time to go!

 

*Jakotsu shrugs and walks back over to Bankotsu*

 

Sango: Since our hero has fled, I guess this is the end.

 

Kagome: We'd better go help them, they have egos to mend.

 

*they walk off after the guys*

 

Bankotsu *to audience* And so ends the tale of InuYasha's great plight, I sure hope that you enjoyed it tonight. But the reason I'm the best when it's all said and done, is simply because...

 

Jakotsu *clings all over Bankotsu, and seductively says* Bankotsu- let's go have some fun.

 

*Jakotsu drags off Bankotsu, who's blinking*

 

End!

 

Cast in order of appearance:

InuYasha: Kelly O’ Connor

Kagome: Bethany Eshnaur

Miroku: Janet Clift

Sango: Roxane Myers

Bankotsu: Jennifer Van Meter

Jakotsu: Savannah Comilla