Kenshin’s Pants Productions proudly presents:
Let the Games
Begin
FMA skit performed at Naka-Kon 2006
Winry:
Hello and welcome to the final day of the Hagaren Olympics.
Our two competitors, Ling
Ed: (as he
enters) It’s not small!
Ling:
(enters staggering, obviously starving) Fooooood…. I
need fooood!
(Ling falls across the line,
Ed crosses the line)
Ed: I won! Winry, I won!
Winry:
Umm, Ed? You didn’t win. *points* Ling fell across the line first.
*Ed looks irritated, Winry bends down to lift up Ling’s arm in victory*
Winry:
All right first event down and Ling is the victor. And now we’re gearing up for
our next event
Ed: This
time I’ll surely win! *summons broom* Okay, Ling- bring it on!
Ling: Hey!
Alchemy is cheating!
Ed: I’m not
using it during the game. I’m just
using it before.
Ling:
*grumbles*
Ed: And
here’s our curling stone… *looks proud as he places Al’s head on the ground.*
Ling: Hmph
*pushes Ed out of the way and rigs the tassel on his sword as a broom.*
Winry:
And the two are at it, in an exciting match of pushing a rock with a broom.
*pause* Hey wait, that’s not a rock. I can’t believe you guys. *steps up
irritated and accidentally kicks head with foot.* I mean, I know Al’s helpful
and all but… you’re hitting his head with a broom.
Ed: Ahh *nervously, as he picks up Al’s head* Winry… you just did the same thing.
Winry:
Whatever, mine was an accident. *takes head back to commentating area,
apologizing to Al* It’s a draw, both players disqualified for using improper
equipment.
*Ed and Ling both look
dejected*
Winry:
And now the signature event of the Hagaren Olympics.
The final event and the one that will determine the winner of the most prized
gold medal in these games. It’s time to for the passion and the pageantry and
the beauty and athleticism, the artistry and the sequins…
Ling and Ed both: Hey, we’re not wearing sequins!
Winry:
*ignores* Ladies and gentlemen, figure skating… First off, performing to a
remake of a classic pop standard, Edward Elric.
*Ed performs to a male ska/rock group singing the Spice Girl’s Wannabe*
Winry:
Not much height on that first jump. Then again… that’s to be expected.
*music skips a bit, Ed
finishes performance*
Winry:
Well, despite technical problems he’s still going. Ed, would you like to try it
again?
Ed: *thinks,
then looking smug- turns to Ling* Beat that, Ling!
Winry:
Somehow I’m not sure that will be too difficult. Ed has certainly left a lot of
space for Ling to defeat him according to the judge’s marks. And try he will,
with his program using traditional Xingian folk music.
*Ling performs, using a
bright orange glove-puppet and doing the chicken dance to Genghis Khan’s “
Winry:
Ugh, you two are hopeless. Let me show you how it’s done!
*music starts to a techno
Habanera and Winry grabs Ed and does an impromptu tango,
complete with a wrench in her mouth.*
Winry:
*overspins Ed, and he practically falls. Winry shrugs* Well, at least it was better than your two
performances!
Ling: You
cheated! Dancing with the commentator like that!
Ed: You’re
the one that fell across the line to win!
Ling: Just
face it, even with your so-called great automail, you
lost!
Ed: Hey!
Don’t insult the automail Winry
made!
*Winry
gets giant wrench, comes back and smacks Ling*
Ed: Thanks Winry, now I’ll win for certain!
*Winry
smacks Ed with wrench too*
Winry:
Due to extenuating circumstances and various other SHORT comings, the winner of
this year’s Olympics is- me, Winry Rockbell.