That Someone Part 1

Gone, that she is.

My blurred vision from sleep becomes more hazed, quickly I bring my hands up to wipe the tearing orbs. Gathering up the top of the thin covers, I curl up into them, closing my eyes tightly to try to block out the now runny liquid traveling out of them.

Every night, she kisses me. Every night, she says �I love youE Feeling my eyebrows crease up in sadness, I toss and turn to make the expression leave my face. Every night, I kiss her. Every night, I say �I love youE That is my role, for I am her husband.

Does she merely take it as a job? A job at which she can leave or quit at any time she pleases? A job at which she is forced to do because of certain reasons? A responsibility she is obligated to, simply because someone asked?

Am I that someone?

These thoughts had flashed across my forlorn mind for days. Constantly I am left abandoned at these hours of darkness, long enough to be plagued by these nightmares while I lay fully conscious, alone on *our* bed. The bed at which she hasn�t slept in for a weeks worth of nights.

I�m that someone?

The someone who asked?

The one who asked a year ago, after my past�s troubles had disappeared?

Sluggishly refusing to open, my eyes remain closed as my mind is awoken by crisp sunlight entering the room. A sudden and brief kiss of warmth is given to me, and a delicate body is slipped into my arms. Placing her chin on my shoulder, with her naked body lying comfortably against mine, she causes me to force out a tired smile. Nibbling on my ear she giggles seductively, "Good Morning." My arms unintentionally wrap around her waist as I turn and kiss her forehead gently.

"Morning, Kaoru-chan." I shift my body letting out the stiffness a bad night�s rest had caused.

Loud thudding is blasted at our bedroom door, both look up, petrified that someone will burst through and catch us stripped of all clothing we could have on. Kaoru nearly springs off of me and wraps herself quickly in the sheet, staring at her clothing scattered across the floor.

"Oro?" I ask towards the general direction of the door, while slipping on my clothes with dangerous speed.

An aggravated Yahiko does not enter but yells at the top of his lungs, releasing all anger he could have boiling up inside of him, "WAKE UP! Goddamn love birds! The new students are here!"

"In a second Yahiko! Hot head!" Kaoru screams back at the door. She�s irritable. Probably from the lack of sleep.

"I�m coming, that I am." Smiling as I open the door to go out, only opening it a sliver then closing it quickly behind me.

My smile is faked, my tone is forged, and my mask of happiness is up strongly today. That is how it will remain until nighttime when I�m to lay on our bed and gaze lifelessly at the blank ceiling, alone in the cold bed.

~*~

Shouldn�t I be happy that the Kamiya dojo is finally getting students? Students that will pay good money to be taught this style of swordsmanship?

But no... I feel empty. My stomach cringes as I walk to meet my new disciples, my mind is overwhelmed, and my body... needs her.

Megumi. She�s like the very drug she writes prescriptions for. You need it to get better, and keep wanting more because it makes you feel good. She�s a drug as well as a fox. Twisting and turning your motives, making you writhe on her bed in the darkness of the night with only the candlelight as a guide. Kissing you like an intense fire creeping up on your skin, Kenshin has never made me feel that way.

Fixing my eyes upon my husband, his kind smile and happy laughs, grief washes over me like the ocean tide. It was wrong. It is wrong. Every part of it is wrong, but he doesn�t know, because he trusts me. He trusts me and I�ve led him astray, that is my reason for this depression. I flee back to Megumi every night for I cannot face his sleeping face at night. I cry while Megumi touches me, smiles at me, kisses me. Both of us clawing at each other because of the one man that came into our lives. Kenshin.

Loving Kenshin with all my heart wasn�t hard. Everyone loves Kenshin.

I always think that. Every time I glance over in the middle of my lessons and see him, either doing the laundry or cooking the meals. He does everything he is told, he never argues, and never gets angry.

Then he asked me to marry him. I shallowed my heart ten times over again. I cried, tears of joy streamed down my face endlessly as I took his mouth to my own and kissed him. I didn�t care who was watching, I got Himura Kenshin, the man of my dreams, the perfect one for me, just for me. Always for me.

Maybe if he wasn�t so perfect... maybe if he yelled once in awhile at me... maybe if he made a smart remark on my bad cooking... *then* maybe I wouldn�t do this to him or myself.

I sigh accidentally as I�m checking over the two new students lined up in front of me. Immediately recovering I nod at them and give a reassuring smile to their worried faces, causing their gasps of anxiety to disappear.

My mood is exceptionally appalling today. I must go see her, I miss her so much, and I have only been away a few hours.

This is what I, Himura Kaoru, have become.

Addicted.

I tell Yahiko to begin the training for the new comers, and lie and say I must run a quick errand and dash out like lightening. Kenshin gives me a questioning but innocent, "Oro?"

I cannot face him.

~*~

I follow Kaoru like a sullen shadow as she runs out the door. My eyes narrow with concern as she takes the wrong road, the one not towards the market or any place else you could find something to buy. She turned towards the residential area, purposely.

My ethic thoughts on spying on someone where hurled away as I slipped out the door silently after her.

Pursing Kaoru, trailing a long ways behind and hiding behind every tree on the side of the road. My ultimate fear had come true.

Another. She wanted another.

My heart was wrenched from its place, as I froze in my spot. Too stunned to move, too sad to yell. Trying to steady my shaking hands ducked behind a tree once more and looked over my shoulder to inhale sharply at the sound of Kaoru knocking upon a door. My eyes would not relieve themselves of their blank look as the door cautiously slid open.

I felt all of my fear choke and dissolute in it�s place all at once. Megumi-dono�s face appeared at the opening of the door, and her gentle hands draped over Kaoru�s shoulders. Kaoru spoke to Megumi, I could not hear, but she was on the verge of crying.

If Kaoru was sick, why didn�t she tell me?

Looking down at the ground in thought, my eyes snapped up once again as they pulled each other close. Megumi tilting Kaoru�s face towards hers, Kaoru looking up into Megumi�s deep eyes. Their lips locked passionately. Then grinning slyly Megumi pulled Kaoru inside.

My eyes burned from being so wide and so unexplainable. My awareness of anything in the world disappeared. I couldn�t feel my legs; they went numb and double-jointed causing me to slide down to the ground using the tree trunk as a brace. I would have collapsed into a heap if that tree wasn�t there.

"I�m just that someone..."

I shuddered, staring blankly at the ground and hugging my knees close to my chest. A single tear developed from my eye, the drop traveling down my cheek, hooking under my chin and falling down, the liquid landing on my knee and disappearing. It never happened in the sunlight ever before. But I cried. Ashamed I had, but I cried silently.

That Someone Part 2

That Someone Part 3