by Kenovay
Hiding behind bottles in dark cafes, dark cafes
Only a dark cocoon before I get my gorgeous wings and fly away
Only a phase, these dark cafe days
- Joni Mitchell
"Beer please, Ste." Ginny smiled at the bartender and picked at her black nail polish. "How're you doing?"
"Fine." Ste grinned back. "And you? It's a pity to see you back here."
Ginny nodded. "Lost my job again." She accepted the half-pint that Ste slid over the bar towards her. "Bastards. And Jamie?"
Ste waved a hand impatiently. "Jamie's doing fine. Jamie's always doing fine. Little twit's too happy by half. But you can't change the subject like that. Why'd you lose it?"
"I was looking at porn on the work computer." Ginny met Ste's eyes defiantly. "Lesbian porn."
Ste exhaled, in a long sigh. "Ginny Weasley� Why d'you do it? You suicidal?"
"Shouldn't be a problem, should it? Bloody homophobes."
Ste's brows lowered. "You know perfectly well straight porn would've gotten you fired. You haven't managed to keep any job for more than three months, Ginny. What's the point?"
Ginny took a gulp of beer. "I dunno. What is the point, Ste? What's the point in you running this pub when you know Jamie's sick of the sight of pubs? What's the point in me pretending I'm in any way employable when I'm so blatantly not? What's the point in trying?"
"Well, there's no way you'll ever know, until you do actually try, is there?" Ste hadn't even twitched. "Why d'you do it?"
"Because�" Ginny sighed, and tugged gently on the ring in her lip. "Because it's not what I want to do. Because I'm angry. Because life keeps on disappointing me."
Ste tapped her hand gently. "It has a habit of doing that. Doesn't mean you can't overcome it. Downs have their ups."
Ginny shook her head. "Not my downs."
"Ginny�" Ste shook his head. "It happens to everyone. Every good person, at least. Everyone passes through this way at some point. You're a dreamer, and that's great, but your dreams won't come true if you hide behind your beer and sit in dark pubs all day."
Ginny sighed, and her shoulders straightened. "I know I can do it."
"So why aren't you doing it?"
"Because how am I supposed to� to ever make my impression on the world? My brothers have done it all!" But then she looked up at Ste. "But you are right."
"I'm always right."
"Oh, hush." Ginny smiled. "It'll get better, won't it? I'll do what I want to do."
"Of course you will. You'll fly away from here. You'll be whatever you want to be."
