It was dark. It was always dark.

The girl had tucked her knees up, trying to hide her head. Perhaps, perhaps if she hid well enough she would disappear. And he would never find her….

"Touyana!" the rough, deep voice shouted.

She shook, perspiration making her damp shirt cling to her. She was aware of every creak, groan and sigh of the cupboard around her.

"Touyana you stupid little brat! Where are you! I’m going to give you such a beating…"

"Husband please! She’s only a little girl- she doesn’t realise when she is wrong…"

"The same as her stupid mother then. Shut up woman!"

A slap resounded and there was a crash as Touyana’s mother flew across the room, colliding with a table on her descent to the ground.

"Ma!" Touyana shouted out without meaning to.

Rough hands hauled her from her hiding place and her father beat her until her skin was raw.

But the girl did not notice. Her dark black eyes were fixed on her mother’s crumpled form. Her tiny fists were clenched.

*

Three days and three nights had passed since his last outburst. The sun peeked its head nervously from behind a cloud and Touyana played in the warm grass.

He was in town, setting up his stall, bringing in the money.

Touyana did not care. She would have preferred if they were poor, homeless and without him. But he would find them. She knew that now.

"Touyana, can you pass me the watering can?" her mother called.

The woman swept back her long brown hair and smiled. She was beautiful, everything the child wanted to be: sweet and caring.

Touyana filled the can from the little tap at the side of the house and lugged the thing back, half of the water splashing out with her efforts.

Her mother laughed a little and retrieved the watering can, patting Touyana on the head lovingly.

"You are a good child."

Touyana smiled and looked up at her mother. A dark frown appeared, anger deep in her heart flaring.

"What’s wrong?" asked her mother in confusion and lines of worry marred her innocent features.

The girl brought a hand to her mother’s face and touched the bruise there, then it fell to the scar at her shoulder, resting finally on the swollen knuckles.

"That’s what is wrong…"

"He doesn’t mean it…" her mother argued hastily.

"Yes he does! He means to hurt you Ma! Don’t let him hurt you again, please!"

"But he loves me, he loves us, really he does Touyana. He just… doesn’t know how to show it…."

Touyana shook her dark head and tears rolled down her face.

"No Ma. He doesn’t love us. Don’t you see? If he loved us then why would he be hurting you….. I wish I was a boy Ma. Then I could protect you, then I could stop him from hurting you…"

"Don’t be silly!" her mother said, gathering the child in her arms and lifting her off the ground.

She had fallen asleep. She did not remember falling asleep, but she must have. And it was the last time she could ever sleep without feeling guilty. Because that night she let down the one person she had ever loved.

Touyana awoke to the sound of a scream. A scream so piercing that it raked through her bones and shuddered into the depths of her being.

The girl sat up, bolt upright and ran out of her room, her feet padding on the creaky wooden floor boards.

"Ma?"

She turned the corner, reaching the kitchen, seeing… seeing it all.

Her father, standing, blood staining his murderous hands. He stood as if in shock, as if he could not comprehend that it had been his hands, his power, his rage that had taken the life from the woman he loved. The crumpled body of Touyana’s mother lay in a pool of dark blood. The blood seeped slowly, lapping against Touyana’s bare feet like the gentle tug of the sea.

"Ma…" she whispered, not quite understanding, not wanting to believe what she had seen.

The man turned, his eyes flashing upon the child, the witness to the crime.

"Touyana… come here…" he said softly.

His words were a little too soft, a little too kind. Touyana ran.

It did not matter that she wore no shoes. The ground raced with her, speeding her along. It took her salty tears and helped to build up her heart.

At last she tripped, an unseen tree root tumbling her to the ground, her jaw jarring awkwardly on the rough ground.

Blood mingled with her tears and she could not cry any more.

Fists clenched the girl pulled herself to her feet and hastily wiped her face clean. She turned and began to walk back.

"I will not love again. I will give my heart to no-one. Then it will not matter if they are injured or die. Then I will not care…

As she looked up, the clouds cleared for a moment and the moon, a full bright moon shone down on her. A warm southerly wind breezed through her dark locks, taking her vow, sealing it in the stars.

But by the time she returned home it was too late. The blaze of the farmhouse filled her dark eyes like some unholy dream.

She sat down slowly, drawing her spindly knees up to her body and trying not to shake.

When she looked up, her life changed.

A man stood before her, a stranger and yet a friend. His fiery copper hair shone but his eyes shone more.

"Do not cry, young one...you shall not be alone...I will take care of you, for a while, if you like…"

He drew his blade, a gleaming samurai sword, and Touyana knew she would be safe with him.

"What is your name little one?" he asked.

"Touya…" she answered without hesitation.

It was a boy’s name… they both knew it was a boy’s name, but he did no even raise an eyebrow at her choice.

"I am Kaeda," Kaeda said as he gathered her into his arms.

She was safe now. Touya was safe….

*

*

*

*

The sun was setting with an orange hue as Touya stood, watching it for the last time.

There were no tears in her eyes. This was a different Touya to the child she had been. She was 16 years old and had the heart of a warrior. She was not afraid any longer: not afraid of being unable to help the weak, the gentle and the needy. She feared only one thing, she loved only one thing.

She remembered the letter she had left by his bed: a single sheet of parchment and a sprig of purple heather.

She remembered his face as he slept, the peaceful serenity that was rarely seen when he awoke. She remembered the kiss she had stolen from him in his dreams.

Touya tied the belt tightly on her black robes and pulled her hood over her head.

The sun had risen fully, the sky now a soft blue.

She started walking away.