| Mysterious Northern Lights by Kenna Clayton |
| Being performed live July 30, 2008 in International Falls, MN at the park |
| REPORTER: Good Morning! Here�s your Icebox Radio news clip: An unexplainable strange phenomenon happened last night over the Minnesota Canadian border. More than a dozen people witnessed a variety of mysterious, color changing lights over Rainy Lake, near Rainier, Minnesota. One news broadcast dubbed them the Mysterious Northern Lights.
Witnesses described everything from a red glowing cloud, too light orbs that changed in color from green to blue, as they danced across the sky, at times appearing to dive near the water. The government is sending a team of researchers to investigate the unexplained phenomenon. MUSIC TRANSITION SOUND: ESPRESSO MACHINE UNDER KATHY: I tell you Harvey those lights over the lake were the strangest thing I ever saw. SOUND: DOOR OPENING, BELL RINGING, DOOR CLOSING AL: Morning Harvey, Kathy. Give me a mocha latte. If you have anything stronger then coffee, put that in it too. HARVEY: This is a coffee shop, not a bar, Al; you�ll have to take your latte straight. You look a bit shaken, anything wrong? AL: Didn�t you hear about the aliens? HARVEY: Aliens? AL: The flying saucers? And the outer space lights? HARVEY: Kathy and I were just discussing the strange lights seen over the lake last night. I hadn�t heard of any flying saucers or aliens. AL: The lights - they were mini flying saucers; probably sending dozens of aliens to invade earth. HARVEY: Al, I think you�ve been watching too much Sci Fi. KATHY: I saw the lights with my own eyes. Strangest thing I ever saw. But, I would not say the orbs were space ships or flying saucers. And I didn�t see any little green men. AL: You don�t see them unless they want to be seen. They wear some kind of cloak to make them invisible. HARVEY: Al, remember the proto-type car you thought was a terrorist machine? I think you�re over thinking this, just like you did the car. Relax. AL: Well, if it wasn�t aliens what was it? Harvey: That I can�t answer. I didn�t personally see them. Could be some kind of atmospheric phenomena, or a secret military experiment; maybe some kind of new Northern Lights. KATHY: It wasn�t Northern Lights. I�ve seen dozens of them. This was something completely different. I was so fascinated by them that I didn�t think to be afraid. If it had popped into my head that they were spaceships or anything like that, I�d have been as scared as a cat being chased by hungry dogs. SOUND: DOOR OPENING, BELL RINGING, DOOR CLOSING JIM: Morning Harvey. How are you this fine morning? HARVEY: Good. What can I get for you? JIM: Make it a cappuccino. Morning Kathy, Al. KATHY: Morning. AL: Hi. Did you see those darn lights over the lake last night? JIM: Just briefly. I was watching TV. My two dogs were outside, and all of a sudden they started going nutsoid. I went out expecting to find they had cornered some kind of critter. Instead I found them running in circles, barking at the sky. I looked up, just in time to see a series of blue light orbs streak off eastward. KATHY: Yes, I saw that too. Before the orbs disappeared they put on quite a performance. JIM: So my neighbor, Diana, said. She said they darted all over the sky. KATHY: Yes, they did; sometimes going high, other times really low. JIM: Diana, said once a really bright light seemed to hover right over the end of the pier. KATHY: Really? I missed that. JIM: The weirdest thing was right after spotting the lights, my dogs took off toward the road barking. I called them back, but they weren�t listening. I went after them. There was this strange guy walking down the road. I had to take the dogs by their collars to keep them from attacking him. AL: Bet it was an alien. JIM: Huh? HARVEY: Don�t pay Al any mind. This guy, he wasn�t anyone you knew? JIM: Nope. Never saw him before. He was very tall and seemed to have large eyes. He was dressed out of date; liked he belonged back in the sixties, or something. AL: An alien; probably from Planet X. I�m going home to prepare my escape. JIM: Well you take care, Al. Hope I see you at Sunday services. AL: You will if we haven�t been attacked by then. You all try to have a nice day. HARVEY: You too, Al. SOUND: DOOR OPENING AND CLOSING JIM: What�s up with weird Al? HARVEY: You know him. He thinks space ships dropped off little green men. JIM: The guy�s been smoking too much, or something. KATHY: Yeah, I think Al�s always had a bat loose in his belfry. HARVEY: He�s the nicest guy, but I agree he�s a strange one. KATHY: Speaking of strange guys, look at the one headed this way. JIM: That�s him! That�s the guy I saw last night. SOUND: DOOR OPENING AND CLOSING HARVEY: Good Morning! What can I get for you? GORM: (MECHANICAL-LIKE VOICE). What kind of product do you sell here? HARVEY: Ah� Coffee, latte, cappuccino, tea; we also have an assortment of cold drinks and a few cookies and donuts. GORM: What is a cappuccino? HARVEY: It�s Italian espresso, with hot milk and milk foam. GORM: Sounds of interest. Give me that. SOUND: CAPPUCCINO MAKING NOISE, UNDER KATHY: Good morning. Are you new in town? GORM: Yes. KATHY: My name is Kathy, and this is Pastor Jim, let us be the first to welcome you to our fine city. And your name is? GORM: Gorm Menyuk. That is considerate of you. Sir, is Pastor your name or your profession? JIM: Profession. I�m the minister. Here�s, my card. We would love for you to attend services on Sunday. GORM: Thank you. I will give your invitation consideration. Churches are a wholesome part of a society. JIM: Yes, they are. HARVEY: Here�s your cappuccino. That will be $3.25. GORM: Will this be sufficient for purchase? HARVEY: That�s a fifty dollar bill. Do you have anything smaller? (PAUSE) That�s a hundred dollar bill. I�ll make change for you out of the fifty. SOUND: CASH REGISTER GORM: Hot! HARVEY: Yes, sorry, I should have warned you. Here�s your change. GORM: Thank you. Frivolous flavor. I like it. HARVEY: Enjoy! And have a good day. GORM: Good day? Oh yes, means enjoy my endeavors this day. Yes, I plan to. SOUND: DOOR OPENING AND CLOSING KATHY: He was as strange as a Wookie from Star Wars. JIM: Definitely not local. HARVEY: That voice, it didn�t sound natural. It almost sounded mechanical. JIM: Maybe due to surgery. KATHY: Perhaps. Those eyes are what got me. They were shiny, almost as if they were glass; and he looked like he was looking right through you. JIM: Perhaps he�ll attend services on Sunday, and we can get to know more about him then. MUSIC TRANSITION SOUND: CROWD MURMUR � ORGAN MUSIC UNDER JIM: Hello Gorm, glad to see you made it to our service. Hope you enjoyed the sermon. GORM: Your message was very thought provoking. Tell me is your message programmed, or is it free spirit? JIM: Forgive me; I�m not quite sure what you mean. GORM: Does another entity give you your message? Or do you provide the message yourself? JIM: Well, I�d like to think my inspiration comes from a higher entity. But, I do write all my own sermons. GORM: Excellent! I�ll make note of that. JIM: Are you doing some kind of research? GORM: Yes. JIM: For a company? Or for personal � SOUND: FOOTSTEPS RUSHING IN KATHY: Jim, forgive me for interrupting, but we have an emergency. Judy Anderson just grabbed her chest and collapsed on the floor. Call 911! JIM: Oh my! Yes, I�ll call right away. GORM: Take me to her. Perhaps I can help. SOUND: CROWD COMING ON KATHY: She�s there on the floor. GORM: Stand back, please. Give me room KATHY: Do you think you should move her, before the paramedics arrive? GORM: She needs to be flat. SOUND: FOOTSTEPS JIM: I called. They�re on their way. What is Gorm doing? KATHY: I don�t know. GORM: (HUMMING AND MAKING STRANGE ALMOST MUSICAL SOUNDS) KATHY: He�s just moving his hands up and down above her body and seems to be in some kind of trance. JIM: What�s up with the sounds? KATHY: Haven�t a clue. Maybe he�s some kind of holistic doctor. JIM: Perhaps I should stop him, until the paramedics get here. KATHY: I don�t think he�s doing any harm. � Oh look, she�s sitting up. JUDY: What happened? GORM: You suffered a malady. JUDY: A What? Who are you? GORM: I am Gorm. You should be feeling well now. JUDY: Ah � well yes, as a matter of fact I feel great. But � The last thing I remember I was talking to the ladies and suddenly felt severe pain in my chest. I was having hard time breathing. KATHY: Yes, then you passed out. Jim called the paramedics. SOUND: SIRENS AT A DISTANCE. JIM: They�re here now. JUDY: I�m so embarrassed. Really, I feel fine. JIM: No reason to be embarrassed. I still think you should let the paramedics check you over. JUDY: Alright, but really I feel better than I have in years. It�s so strange. KATHY: You can thank Gorm. Whatever he did seems to have helped. JIM: Speaking of Gorm, where is he? JUDY: I don�t see him. I certainly need to thank him. Is he new? I don�t remember seeing him before. His looks give me a bit of a start when I first came too. KATHY: Yes, he�s new to our community. He is different, but seems to have a special gift. SOUND: PARAMEDICS ARRIVING (FOOTSTEPS, EQUIPMENT BEING MOVED) JIM: This way fellas. Your patient seems to have recovered, but I�d appreciate you checking her out anyway. MUSIC TRANSITION SOUND: DOOR OPENING, BELL RINGING, DOOR CLOSING HARVEY: Morning Kathy. Your usual? KATHY: Yes, good old Peppermint Tea, the best way to start off the morning. JIM: Morning Kathy. Personally, I need that jolt of caffeine to get my morning started. HARVEY: Anything new on our wonder boy Gorm? JIM: You heard what happened at the church on Sunday, didn�t you? HARVEY: Yes. In fact Judy was in here a couple of days later. She�s fine. Her family insisted on her going to the doctor. She did and he found nothing wrong. In fact, he was at a loss to explain it, but she didn�t have any sign of a heart murmur she�d had for years, and her arthritis seemed to have disappeared. KATHY: Really. How strange. JIM: Gorm seems to be jack of all trades. He�s been all over town helping people out. He gave George, out at the nursery, great tips on how to grow plants and keep flowers fresh. And that old crane, out at the mill, that they were ready to junk; he�s got that running like it was new. KATHY: Well he knows nothing about clothing stores. He was in my place asking some of the strangest questions. I tried to sell him a more updated outfit, but he put me off; said maybe later. I did sell him a pair of shoes, though. HARVEY: He�s become addicted to cappuccino. The other morning he came in and I was having trouble getting my espresso machine to work. He had it running in a matter of minutes. KATHY: Lucky for you. HARVEY: Yes. Oh, and I asked him why his voice was so different. JIM: Did you get an answer? HARVEY: He said he had an implanted voice box. KATHY: Amazing what they can do these days. SOUND: DOOR OPENING, BELL RINGING, DOOR CLOSING HARVEY: Al, you okay? You look like you�ve seen a ghost. AL: Give me the strongest cup of joe you have. I gotta get a shot of caffeine before I pass out. HARVEY: Coming right up. KATHY: Have a seat. Tell us what�s wrong. SOUND: CASH REGISTER UNDER. AL: Can�t stay. Have to get home and report my sighting. JIM: Sighting? AL: That Gorm guy. He�s definitely an alien, or possessed by one. KATHY: Now Al, why would you say that? AL: I was walking over by the library. I see this Gorm guy standing by the band shell in the park. All of sudden there is this bright light surrounding him. So bright it was blinding. I blink, and he changes color. JIM: He what? AL: Well, he didn�t, but his clothes did. You know that strange outfit he�s always wearing? Well it was a navy blue. And in the blink of an eye it changed from navy blue, to a forest green shirt and a deep brown pair of pants. KATHY: Sure the sun wasn�t playing tricks on you, or something? AL: I�m sure. HARVEY: Take it easy on that stuff. You�ll give yourself heartburn. AL: Heartburn is the least of my troubles. Gotta get home and report my sighting to alientown.org. KATHY: Maybe you better go home and sleep on it first. AL: Gotta do it while it�s fresh in my mind. See ya all. SOUND: DOOR OPENING, BELL RINGING, DOOR CLOSING JIM: That guy never fails to surprise me. KATHY: Personally I think he�s suffering from a bad hangover. I heard he tied one on at the Roadhouse last night. HARVEY: Speaking of Gorm, here he comes. SOUND: DOOR OPENING, BELL RINGING, DOOR CLOSING HARVEY: Morning Gorm. You want you�re usual cappuccino? GORM: Yes. One large cappuccino. HARVEY: One cappuccino coming up. GORM: Price is $3.25, correct? HARVEY: Yes. GORM: Here; three one paper dollars and one not quite silver quarter. SOUND: CASH REGISTER HARVEY: Thank you. Here�s your cappuccino. KATHY: (SHORT SCREAM) Look, she�s gonna run right out in front of that car. SOUND: SPLASH � CAPPACCINO HITTING THE FLOOR; SWISHING SOUND JIM: I don�t believe it, that car just stopped dead in its tracks. KATHY: Where�d Gorm go? HARVEY: He�s out with the girl that almost got hit. KATHY: That was fast. HARVEY: He dropped his drink. I�ll clean that up. JIM: I�m going out to see if I can be of any help. MUSIC TRANSITION KATHY: Here comes Jim and Gorm. HARVEY: Look, the girl doesn�t appear to be hurt; she�s back playing ball with her brother. SOUND: DOOR OPENING, BELL RINGING, DOOR CLOSING GORM: Forgive the spill. I thank you for clearing the contents from floor. HARVEY: No problem. I�ll get you another one, on the house. GORM: On the house? HARVEY: Means I�ll give you one free. GORM: Why would you do that? Very unproductive. HARVEY: Well you were startled by what you witnessed, and you seem to have been a great assistance to the little girl. So it�s my way of saying thank you. GORM: Very good of you. JIM: Tried to get old man Jarvis to come in and have a cup of coffee with us. He was pretty shaken up. But he said he just wanted to get home. KATHY: Was that who was driving the car? JIM: Yes. He said it was the strangest thing. He was driving along, at the speed limit. All of sudden he she�s the girl dash out, right in front of him; before he could apply his brakes, his motor just seemed to die. He said it felt like his car hit an invisible brick wall. KATHY: Thank goodness it did. Wonder why the motor died. GORM: Temporary stoppage of fuel and metric energy displacement. KATHY: Sounds like a good theory, but way over my head. GORM: Thank you for the free cappuccino. I must go now. HARVEY: You�re welcome. Have a great day. GORM: You also. SOUND: DOOR OPENING, BELL RINGING, DOOR CLOSING JIM: He was so good with that little girl.; calmed her right down. KATHY: Strange how that car just stopped on a dime. JIM: One of those unexplained miracles, which we just have to be thankful for. HARVEY: Amen to that. I did notice something though. KATHY: What�s that? HARVEY: Gorm was wearing a forest green shirt and brown pair of pants. KATHY: You don�t think Al saw what he said he saw, do you? HARVEY: I don�t know what to think. MUSIC TRANSITION SOUND: ESPRESSO MACHINE UNDER JIM: Harvey, turn up the radio, their talking about the lights that reappeared last night. REPORTER: Our Icebox Radio news clip is again about the mysterious northern lights. For the second time in a week the light orbs were spotted over Rainy Lake. Researchers were on hand to observe the phenomena, but were hesitant to say just what they were. One researcher hinted they may be some kind of Canadian Weather Balloons. However Environmental Canada was quick to say they had no weather balloon experiments at this time. KATHY: They didn�t say anything we didn�t already know. AL: Has anyone seen that Gorm guy today? HARVEY: I haven�t. Why? AL: Just curious. He seemed to be everywhere this past week. Now he�s nowhere in sight. KATHY: I�m sure we�ll see him before long. HARVEY: Al, you don�t still think he�s an alien, do you? AL: I haven�t made up my mind about that yet. If he is, he doesn�t appear to be the destructive kind. He�s done some good things around here. Still he�s a strange one. KATHY: I�ll give you that, but I like him. HARVEY: Me too. AL: Well I�m out of here; going to go see if I can find Gorm. I have some questions for him. HARVEY: Good luck in getting him to answer them. He seems a little evasive, when it comes to questions; particularly about him. AL: I�ll do my best. Bye. SOUND: DOOR OPENING, BELL RINGING, DOOR CLOSING KATHY: Jim, you�re sure quiet this morning. Anything wrong? JIM: Harvey, Kathy, I have something to show you, but you must promise me you won�t say a word to anyone about this. HARVEY: Okay. But, why so secretive? JIM: You�ll see. This is my video camera. Watch this little screen. KATHY: Oh, you took pictures of the lights. HARVEY: Sweet. JIM: Keep watching. KATHY: Is that Gorm? JIM: Yes. HARVEY: Wow, what a bright light. I can�t see anything but the light. Blocks out the wharf, the water, Gorm, everything. KATHY: Whoa! Where did Gorm go? JIM: Good question. The only thing on the dock is his shoes. HARVEY: The light was blinding. Maybe he just ran away when the bright light appeared. KATHY: Maybe. But his shoes� HARVEY: Perhaps he�d already taken them off. Maybe He was going to sit on the end of the dock and dangle his feet in the water. JIM: Let me go back, to just before the bright light. There�s Gorm, with his shoes on. KATHY: I don�t know. Did you retrieve his shoes? JIM: No; never entered my mind. Maybe I should have. HARVEY: He couldn�t have just disappeared into thin air? JIM: That�s what I keep telling myself. But there is no sign of him, and from this film it appears he did just that. Plus I�ve been thinking about what my neighbor saw the first time the lights appeared. KATHY: What are you talking about? JIM: Remember me telling you that Diana saw a bright light that engulfed the end of the pier? Later she told me she thought she saw something or someone on the pier, right afterwards; that wasn�t there before. HARVEY: Maybe it was just her eyes playing tricks on her. JIM: Maybe, maybe not. But, Gorm appeared on the road, right after that. ENDING MUSIC |