one of your elder sisters with the big teeth and told what to do. And common sense alone told you that if ol' big jaws said to jump, you don't ask "why", you ask "how high?" People however, can learn more that a little from the Bachackian Kingdom. It's highly organised and even though sexual promiscuity is the foundation upon which the society is based, there exists a definite social hierarchy that clearly defines who knocks up whom, when, and for how long. It also defines who brings food, who tends to the maggots, who defends the Kingdom and so on. Unlike in human societies, wealth plays no role in the workings of this society, neither does jealousy… and a good thing too. Can you imagine how a jealous bachack would behave? Imagine a

drunk bachack… swaying from side to side, balancing the hibiscus leaf on her head, and clicking in her most guttural voice… now imagine if this bachack was the designated maggot-sitter for the night, just picture what would be the consequence of such a chain of events… I shudder at the

mere thought.
And considering that all you do is work, what does the average bachack's résumé look like? Well, on it, there would no doubt be an estimate of her physical strength, that is, that she is capable and accustomed to lifting over six times her body weight, that she doesn't need much sleep, that she has a green claw, and knows just when to pick a leaf, how to cut it, and how to make it produce a good harvest of mould. The ambitious bachack would also mention that she is immune to pain, since she

doesn't have a central nervous system, this would mean that she can be caught by the soldiers of another Kingdom, not even torture would cause her to reveal the whereabouts of her own Kingdom. How many humans

can boast of such qualifications?
And don't you for a moment think that bachacks are uncivilized. Word has it that ancient men of England were descendants of bachacks. There is also reason to believe that some of our own habits are variations of ancient Bachackian custom. For instance, there is a human saying about burning your bridges before you cross them. There is a Bachackian saying that goes "Don't chew the leaf you stand on" … do you see any resemblance? There is also a Bachackian proverb that teaches all bachacks something that people seem to have a lot of difficulty coming to terms with… It goes "She who looks like you need not be one of your bachums, and your bachums need not look like you" (bachum - the bachackian term for friend) this is especially important for bachacks since where conflict exists between neighbouring Kingdoms, it might be difficult for a bachack to remember who all her sister are. For the friendly aphids that share living quarters with bachacks, it is important that bachacks remember that there is no bad blood in the relationship.
So caps off to our communist comrade the bachack. She is all that many of us humans aspire to be and more. Yet it is without remorse that we step on her, spray her, and feed her poisons. Ahh, pity the poor creature, a victim of circumstance, a liberal woman long before human women sought to be liberal, the bachack.

kw/1995

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