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I don't like thin lips. Some people with thin lips I like just fine, except their lips. When God made Adam's face, at first he had no lips. Then when God cut the mouth, Adam's lips rolled back natually. They were nice, full lips, kissing lips, apple eating lips. Those lips eventually got him into trouble.

My father has thin lips. I like him just fine, but I don't like his lips. My mother had beautiful, well shaped lips. I can see what my father saw in her. After she died someone reproduced a picture of her as a young woman. She was beautiful - she had good lips. From her my ten siblings all got good lips, except Clarence. He got daddy's lips. Its not his fault, he was just born first.

My lips are not thin. I have nice lips except I have a natural frown. When I smile the corners of my mouth just straighten out; they don't turn up in a classic smile. Most girls say I have nice, soft lips, kissing lips. These lips have gotten me into a lot of trouble.

From my experience, people with thin lips are opinionated and domineering. Short people are the same. If you see a short person with thin lips, leave them alone. Napoleon had thin lips. Hitler had thin lips. Did I mention that my father has thin lips?

My ex has thin lips. She is not a good kisser. She is opinionated and domineering. Luckily, both of my children have good lips. I can't rate their kissing technique though.

The vast majority of lesbians have thin lips, but most homosexual men have wierd, round puffy lips. This seems odd to me . . . then again, maybe not.

My second cousin C.J has no lips, even worse than my dad. In high school his daughter had nice lips. But he wouldn't let me date her, so I figure he got what he deserved.

Black people usually have large lips. No matter what I would say on the subject, someone would be faux offended. So, I have decided to have no opinion on this. Its safer not to - believe me - with Jesse and Al still around.

The most beautiful lips I've ever seen belonged to a Delta Airlines stewardess. This was before they became flight attendents. During a flight from Atlanta to Oakland she let me taste her lips. Then she asked me if I wanted to join the mile high club. I told her I would at the ticket counter as soon as we landed. She laughed and laughed. I was only eighteen years old and in the Army. I just didn't know, okay? Anyway, she signed me up right there.

Other than forming words and holding food in our mouths, kissing, or one of it's derivitives, is our lips biggest function.

People should pay more attention to their lips. Lips are important.

Lips, a Treatise
by

Kenneth Howell

Copyright 2000 by Kenneth Howell. All rights reserved. No part may be copied or transfered mechanically, electronically or by any other means, except for reviews, without the express written permission of the author.

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