It was an awkward and uncomfortable group that faced each other in the clearing. Only Llywarch and Zelda appeared at ease. She was standing on a log, running her fingers through his new hair.
Rosa and Gretel giggled.
“For gosh sakes, Uncle Larry, get a tree!”
Chris whispered.
Helga-Aberdeen kept muttering under her breath about needing to go back and light a fire under something. She bit back a comment when Rex wandered into the clearing with a black caldron caught on a rear hoof and trailing bits of chopped vegetables in his wake.
“I know how to
boil water,”
When no one was looking, Chris and Randolph each took a cookie.
“Attention, everyone.” Mimi called out. “First we have to decide what dances you need to learn. Do you know what they are?” she asked the dwarfs.
They huddled together.
“No,” admitted Thirty-nine, after they broke up. “We don’t know what any of the dances are called, but we would recognize them if we saw them.”
The others nodded in agreement.
“Oh, dear,” said the three ladies.
Mimi said,
“Gretel, I think you should demonstrate some of the steps you know. Odds are the sisters are doing some folk
dances that are common to the
“I’ll give four to one,” said Lucky.
“That’s the same odds William would have given,” Chris added.
Gretel lifted her skirt above her ankles and started doing a folk dance. She was charming as she hopped and skipped in a circle with one arm raised in the air. She curtsied to an imaginary partner and finished with a flourish.
“That was wonderful!” The dwarfs all clapped and cheered and whistled, as Gretel fanned herself with her apron.
“It’s a shame we’re already in love with the Ooba-Ooba sisters,” Naught told her and handed her a butterfly.
“Well?” asked Mimi, “Did you recognize those steps?”
“Oh sure,” the dwarfs said.
“Good! Then we will start by teaching you this dance.”
“That’s not the dance the Ooba-Ooba sisters are doing,” said Negative-One.
“But I thought you recognized them.”
“Of course, we recognized the steps,” said Naught. “We hop all the time.”
“And I love to skip!” Ten informed her.
“Gretel, can you perform a different dance?”
“Oh dear,” said Gretel. She thought for a moment. Then she launched into another one.
“Nope,” said the dwarfs, after they were finished clapping.
Gretel was fanning herself more vigorously.
She tried another one.
“Nope.”
And another.
“Nope.”
“Nope.”
When Gretel collapsed onto a log, her hair was matted, her clothes were sticky, and droplets of something were streaking down her face.
“I have heard,” said Thirty-nine, “that horses sweat, men perspire, and women glow. But I think Gretel’s sweating.”
“Yes,” the others agreed. “She doesn’t look like she normally does,” one of them added. “What’s that smell?” asked another.
“
They didn’t wait
for her to finish before they started applauding enthusiastically. Lucky was beating time with two sticks on a
log. Random tried to copy him, but his timing
was more…erratic. Ten was doing a good
job of imitating
When she finished, Naught handed her a butterfly and said, “I think you are as pretty as Gretel.”
“She’s prettier today,” Pi insisted. “Gretel’s looking kind of peaked.”
Chris glared,
while
“Well,” asked Mimi, hopefully. “Did you recognize that dance?”
“We’re not sure,” the dwarfs replied.
“Can she do it again?” asked Lucky.
“Ouch,” said
She did the Flamenco two more times before the dwarfs admitted that they didn’t recognize the dance.
“But we sure like it,” insisted Negative-one.
Chris and Randolph moved down wind.
“Oh dear,” said Mimi, not knowing what to do. She spun around looking for Hansel.
“That’s it,” exclaimed Thirty-nine.
“What’s it?” asked Mimi.
“That’s the dance. Spin again.”
Mimi turned once more.
“YES!” the dwarfs cried in unison. “That’s it. That’s just what the Ooba-Ooba sisters do.”
At first Mimi was puzzled. Then she brightened. “That’s a ballet move. Could the Ooba-Ooba sisters be dancing ballet?”
Naught replied, “I thought they were saying ‘Bully’.”
The other dwarfs agreed. “That’s what we thought also.”
“They speak with an accent,” Pi informed them.
“I think it’s a foreign language,” Naught added.
“I can teach you
ballet,” said Mimi. “It comes from
“Do you want to learn it?” she asked.
“Yes,” agreed the dwarfs.
“We want to learn it above all things,” smiled Negative-one
“I thought you wanted to learn pig farming,” Hombre grumbled at him.
“How do you make a tutu?” Ten asked.
“This is called the ‘First Position’,” Mimi said. “Now you do it.”
“Ouch,” said several of the dwarfs.
“Stupid high-heels,” added Ten.
“Bend down and jump in the air twirling your feet as fast as you can. Wonderful, Ten. No, just your feet Pi. Oh dear, Negative-one.”
“See! I told you I get nose-bleeds quite easily.”
“Second Position is much easier. Everyone take their partners by their hand and go up on your toes. Take one step forward and leap like this, landing on the same foot.”
When they did, Llywarch and Zelda disappeared.
“Oh dear,” said Mimi. “I forgot about those boots.”
They came back
wearing berets and eating croissants.
“We stopped at a wonderful little place by the sea,” said Llywarch. “Have you heard of the
The next time they disappeared, they came back wearing felt hats and holding cheese sticks. “Luxemburg,” Llywarch informed them.
Mimi had enough after they tried the spin called the Pirouette. The wind knocked everyone over and completely blew away the tea service. She made them sit this one out.
“I wanted one more cookie,” said Chris and Randolph together.
With Llywarch and Zelda safely out of the way, the lesson continued. Soon everyone was bending and leaping, spinning and jumping, and walking on toes.
“You’re supposed
to walk on your own toes,”
The sight was so enthralling that Naught’s butterflies, accompanied by the ugly birds, flew out to watch. They alighted on the trees and bushes and flowers surrounding the clearing, with their shimmering wings waving in approval. Everyone was so involved that nobody noticed the explosions in the shed gradually diminish and stop altogether, to be replaced by sawing, hammering, and metallic sounds.
Eventually it grew late and the sun began to set. It was time for Zelda to return to the giants and the others to journey to the meadow.
“I wish we had
time to bathe and wash our clothes,”
“Harley thinks you smell fine,” Hombre reassured them, as he and the hog rode along side.
The twinkling stars came out and the waning moon was rising by the time they reach the clearing.
“Now let’s prepare to meet these sisters,” Mimi said to the dwarfs, as she looked them over. “None of you have any coal in your pockets do you?”
Sheepishly the dwarfs emptied their pockets. Soon a large pile lay on the ground.
“We weren’t going to throw them,” they insisted. “We were going to give them as presents.”
Before Mimi could scold them, singing could be heard coming towards the meadow. The sounds “’Ooba, ‘Ooba” filled the air.
In a few moments, seven beautiful young women burst out of the forest and sprang into the meadow. Singing and laughing, they playfully cavorted around the field twisting, turning, and stretching,
“It looks like
they’re warming-up,” said
“Is dancing that strenuous?” asked Chris.
“Humph!”
“Do you suppose Chris
and Randolph think those girls are pretty?”
Mimi gasped. “Those aren’t Ooba-Ooba sisters,” she cried. “Those are Lavender Fairies.”
Sure enough the girls, who looked to be about sixteen, were all dressed in Lavender. Despite their youth, each was about an inch taller than the dwarfs. Suddenly the girls noticed the visitors and they turned to run away.
“Oh darn,” groaned the dwarfs.
“Wait,” called out Mimi. “Don’t be afraid. I’m a Blue Fairy.”
The girls skidded to a halt, turned and rushed over to Mimi.
“Are you really a Blue Fairy?” they asked. Their accents were French. “We have a cousin who’s a Blue Fairy. Do you know Mimi?”
“Why, I’m Mimi! Who are you? My cousin Heather’s a Lavender Fairy. But surely she’s not old enough to be your mother? How old are you, anyway? You all look to be the same age.”
“We’re sixteen, Cousin Mimi. And Heather was our mother.”
“Was?” questioned Mimi. “Then we must be in Mearchland and Nelson must be your father.” Mimi looked over their heads to Hansel. “My cousin also married a non-fairy.”
Hansel
stepped forward and greeted them. “We’re
neighbors then. I come from Oberdonau on
the other side of the
The Lavender Fairies looked at each other in wonder. “We didn’t know there was the name for it,” one replied. “We call ourselves twins, three and a half times.”
“Yep! That’s what we’d call them,” Random agreed.
“That’s right,” said Naught, “Don’t know what septuplets means.” The other dwarfs nodded.
Startled by the sudden introduction of dwarfs to the conversation, the fairies hid behind their cousin
“Don’t let them throw things at us,” they begged.
All the women gave the dwarfs dirty looks.
“They won’t throw anything more at you,” said Mimi. She glared at them and demanded, “Will you?”
“No! No!” they replied. “Of course not.” A few more lumps of coal were tossed onto the pile.
Mimi turned to the sisters. “They have come to join in your dancing.”
“Dancing?” The sisters looked puzzled. “But we’re not…”
“You know, like you do in the meadow,” said Thirty-nine.
“We have been practicing,” Ten bragged. “And we think we’re as good as you!”
The rest agreed. “Yep! We’re pretty good.”
“I’m the best at going around in circles,” Pi bragged.
Mimi, Rosa, and Gretel rolled their eyes.
The Lavender Fairies huddled together. “Let’s get even…,” could be heard. Along with, “Won’t know what hit them,” “They think they’re as good as us,” and “The one holding the dice looks interesting.”
The sisters pulled apart, looking mischievous. “Have you emptied your pockets of all your coal?” one asked again.
“Yes! Yes!” the dwarfs replied. One more lump landed on the pile.
“So you think you’re good as us,” said the first sister. She appeared quite bossy. “Let’s put it to the test.” She took Pi by the hand and said, “My name’s Lily.” Then she dragged him off behind her.
“Hurray!” said the rest of the dwarfs.
“My name’s Lily, also,” the next said to Lucky. She was a beautiful fairy with long, thick eyelashes. She blinked them at him and asked, “Do you think I am beautiful?”
Gretel sighed. She used to know what that was like, as she tugged at her crumpled apron and pulled at the tangles in her hair.
“You look interesting,” this Lily informed Lucky. ““Ouch! I’ve been pinched.”
“And I’m Lily,” a pragmatic looking fairy introduced herself to Ten. “Those shoes make you look taller, but I bet they give you blisters.”
“Lucky can give you odds,” Naught informed her.
“Enough of this talk about gambling,” a domestic looking fairy said, as she straightened Naught’s collar and dusted his back side. “Wouldn’t you rather talk about tuna casseroles? You can call me Lily” She added, as she led him after her.
“Ouch!” he said. “Somebody pinched me.”
“How did you know I had blisters?” Ten asked his Lily.
“You should have used lifts instead of heels,” she replied. “Then your feet would stay level.”
“My name’s Lily,” an intelligent-looking fairy with glasses, introduced herself to Random.
“You can call me Four Hundred and Twenty-seven,” came the reply.
“Wait,” asked Mimi. “Are you all named Lily?”
“Of course not,” the fairies tittered. “That would be confusing.”
“My name’s Chrysanthemum,” the next to the last fairy said to Negative-one, as she led him to the center of the meadow. I am the youngest. I was born three minutes after Lily. She’s the oldest.”
The women gasped. That meant a baby every thirty seconds.
“That…that’s sure a long name,” Negative-one stammered.
Chrysanthemum giggled. “Yes, but I’ve got a nickname.”
“Is
it Chris?” asked
“It’s not Mum, is it?” Negative-one asked in confusion. You’re not old enough.”
“No. No.” Chrysanthemum whispered in his ear, “I liked to be called Lily.”
Thirty-nine bowed to the last fairy. “I guess you and I are partners.”
“My name’s Daffodil,” she said, as she led him off in the wrong direction.
Two Lilies raced from the meadow and herded them back.
“I am sorry,” Daffodil said sheepishly. “I have a horrible sense of direction.”
“That’s quite alright,” Thirty-nine answered bewildered.
One of the Lilies explained. “Daffy’s so nearsighted that even glasses don’t help.”
“It’s so bad that when she looks in a window” the other Lily added. “She can never see passed next Tuesday.”
The butterflies that followed Naught to the meadow were resting on the trees and bushes and flowers.
“What makes a Lavender Fairy?” Hombre asked Mimi
“I’m not sure,” she replied. “But Heather’s mother was a Blue Fairy and I think her father was a Red one. I wonder where she and Nelson are.”
“Are we ready?” the first Lily demanded.
Everyone in the meadow nodded. The sisters were each holding a dwarf by a hand. With the attention on the couples, no one noticed an old man arrive, leaning on a staff.
One of the Lilys leaned across to Ten and asked, “Why are you taller than the other dwarfs?”
Ten blushed and admitted that he was wearing high-heels.
“But we’re going to change them to lifts,” his Lily added.
“Set,” continued the first Lily. “And go!”
The dwarfs assumed the first ballet position. “Ouch!” said Ten.
But instead of following suit, the sisters, to a fairy, stepped behind them and quickly flipped them over their shoulders.
“I
don’t remember learning that position,”
“No, nor do I recall the pirouette ending quite like that,”
The sisters had all leaped in the air with their feet twirling. However when they landed it was on one knee and they jammed their elbows into the dwarfs’ throats. After that they hauled them to their feet, grabbed a hand and started spinning them around.
“You
know He’s right,”
“This looks familiar,” Llywarch mused.
Mimi was too shocked to say anything. This wasn’t what she had taught.
Suddenly the sisters let go and dwarfs were sent spinning all over the meadow. Pi managed to land on one foot, but as he leaped back into the air, determined to land again on the same foot, a Lily took him out with a body slam.
“’Ooba, ‘Ooba,” the girls started chanting.
Startled, Llywarch said, “That’s not singing. They are booing – in Pig Latin.”
“I always knew pigs were smart.” Hombre was impressed.
“What’s Pig Latin?” asked Gretel.
Before anyone could answer, a different chant was heard from the meadow.
“That does sound like bully,” Mimi said.
“Get up and fight, ya bullies!”
“Pig Latin,” Chris informed Gretel, “is where you drop the first letter of each word and then add it to the end of the word, followed by the long ‘A’ sound.”
“I
know how to do that,” insisted
Gretel didn’t have time to be impressed.
WHOOSH!
There was a flash of lightning, a cloud of smoke, and the roar of thunder – and Chevy’s oxcart roared through the meadow. Rex was hitched to the front it, but he wasn’t moving his legs. He was standing stiff as a board with his hoofs encased in what would some day be called roller-skates. Chevy was on the seat attempting to steer by tugging on Rex’s yoke until he leaned one way or the other.
He
and Irving had nailed a large barrel to the back of the cart, filled it with
water, and inserted the exhaust pipe from the stove into the end.
The butterflies and birds took off for safety, with the birds leaving a mysterious trail of black vapor. In just seconds, the oxcart crossed the meadow and disappeared into the forest on the other side. “Whoopee,” could be heard from among the trees.
The sisters took advantage of the distraction and the dwarfs were all pinned to the ground.
“Hello, Mimi,” said the old man with the staff, who had finally reached her. “I don’t suppose you remember me? I am Nelson, Heather’s husband.”
Mimi gasped. “You’re Nelson? But you look so old. Oh! I didn’t mean that…that was a rude thing to say. Forget that I said it…but… Oh! You look so old!”
Nelson laughed softly. “Yes. I am old. He pointed to the meadow, “Heather and I have beautiful daughters. Do we not?”
“Yes. They’re beautiful,” everyone agreed. For some reason,
As he hopped around the meadow, Mimi informed him, “That’s not necessary anymore. The dwarfs have the fairies to dance with now.
To her surprise, Nelson chuckled. “So you think they’re dancing. I’m surprised. Did you never look into the future with that window of yours? The girls loved to watch their mother’s. I don’t suppose you’ve seen wrestling before?”
“That’s why it looks familiar,” Llywarch said, as he removed his hat and scratched his rows. “I used to watch that on Saturday nights.”
Now the sisters were ganging up on dwarfs. One sister would pin a dwarf’s arms between him with her arms and push down on his neck with her hands, while another sister slammed a knee into his face.
“They named that hold after me,” Nelson said.
Dwarfs set free were staggering about the meadow – with Pi still in perfect circles. Naught came up and said, “This is the most fun I’ve ever had,” before he returned to the fracas. Negative-one’s nose was bleeding again.
Mimi was aghast. “Does Heather approve of this?” she asked.
Nelson looked sad. “I am sorry to say, Heather’s no longer with us.”
“Went on vacation, did she?” said Llywarch. “I recommend Luxemburg if you like cheese.”
“I believe he means that Heather is dead,” Chris told his uncle.
“Oh…I
wouldn’t recommend Luxemburg then…ought to go to
Mimi gasped, “What did she die of?”
“Old age.”
“But she was just older than me…and look at you. What happened?”
Before he could reply, his daughters rushed up, dragging dwarfs behind them. “Papa,” insisted Lily. “We want to get married.”
Mimi, Rosa, and Gretel gasped.
“Are you in love with them?” asked Mimi.
“Oh yes!” said another Lily, while the others agreed. Ten, who she was holding up by the collar of his shirt, smiled a happy smile. One of his teeth was missing. The rest of the dwarfs looked just as disheveled.
“Humph!”
said Gretel to
“How
can you tell?” asked
“How can you possible be in love? You just met them!” said Mimi, ignoring that fact that she met and married Hansel in less than twenty-four hours.
Before they could answer there came two WHOOSHES, several flashes of lightning, some clouds of smoke, and a lot of thunder. Then the oxcart raced past. And Llywarch disappeared.