The Kissin’ of the Sheriff’s Wife
© 1996 by W. S. Messer
Key of E
E
A
Well me name it is Michael
and I’ve lived in
E A B7 E
My father was a farmer and me
mother was the farmers wife
A
They raised them up a family
of girls to number twenty-one
E
A B7 E
Of which I am the youngest
and me blessed father’s only son
E
E
Now living with so many girls
ye’d think me hair’d be in curls
A E A E A
ye’d think I’d wear a scarf and have me earrings set with
pretty purls
Oh, but I am a master of a
man with manly passion
And I always kiss the girls
in a very manly fashion
I wear a manly mustache and I
drink me whiskey manly-like
And all me friends’ll warn ye
not to pick a row with “manly Mike”
Last week I kissed the
sheriffs’ wife
she kissed me back with little strife
She swore it was the finest
kiss she’d ever had in all her life
But the sheriff saw the
kissin’ and he swore upon his station
He’d use his legal powers to
change my situation
He went to the magistrate and
told him of my rampage
When drunk, I fell upon his
wife and took unfair advantage
He swore that I had pulled a
knife and put it to his pretty wife
And charged her for a kiss or
else I’d disengage her very life
Aye, and other wrongful charges
he drew up without true evidence
And thus convinced the
magistrate
that I should pay a recompense
Well I had to stand the trial
because I refused to pay the fine
I smiled when it turn out,
the magistrate
he was a friend of mine
Your honor, Mister Cassidy if
you have the capacity
I’ll give back the kiss I
stole and thus prove my varassity
Well the sheriff’s wife was willin’
and the sheriff had to curse and swear
As I kissed the sheriff’s
wife
in the courtroom from the witness chair
Well, Ma’am, says the
magistrate
is that the kiss you lost before?
Well, says she: I’m not quite
sure
perhaps if I could try one more
Then she kissed me without
ration, a kiss of carnal passion
‘Till all the girls were
blushin’
and the sheriff’s teeth were gnashin’
Araugh, proclaimed the
magistrate, a clearer case I never saw
For both of you are guilty of
crimes not covered by the law
To sentence you at all or to
render a conviction
As much as some might like it
it’s not in my jurisdiction
So I said to the gallery I’ll
spend me next month’s salary
To celebrate across the
street in the tavern of O’Mallery
Sure and anyone who comes
they can help me drink away my sin
And everyone’s invited. . . but do not let the sheriff in
Well, we all rushed across
the street in high anticipation
To celebrate the famous
justice of the Irish nation
The word went round that
drinks were free
and people came from miles to see
The farmer’s son who’d won
the day
and kissed his way to liberty
Well by twos and by threes we
all rushed into the drinkin’ hall
Young men and old men and
girls who were not men at all
And we drank all the beer
that me monthly wage would cover
Then Michael Conway said that
he would pay for yet another
When that was finish,
each other man put up a pound
And we drank until we
couldn’t
lift a glass to drink another round
hen we all staggered home
by the light upon the summer moon
And no one that was there
that night
got out of bed ‘till after
And that was the day I’ll
remember fondly all me life
The day that made me famous
for
(This song is included in Darby O’Gill’s CD,
“Waitin’ for a Ride”)
the
Kissin’ Of the Sheriff’s Wife