Garcia Girl

 

The eye of the hurricane,

The swell of the storm.  No calm.

Spraying venom in my ear;

Poisoning me from the inside out.

Burning first my pride then my heart  --

Feeding on my ego like barnacles on a whale.

Just can’t shake it.

Not really so sad to be free—why should I be?

Isn’t it time to get back to me? Time for alone?

For Positivity. For Positivity’s sake?

Please.

 I plead.

Let me go.

You won’t miss me. I can see that.

I can know because of the way you are.

The way you don’t know—won’t see

See. See. See.

Can’t see

Don’t even try

Open your eyes.

Hear your thunder

Feel your electrifying presence shock me into submission.

No more.                         Why should I?

There is no right answer.       Especially not according to you.

Shut me down…with your tone.

Shut me up…with your scolding       pleading         condescending      stare.

 This front is moving fast—cold—fast—fast—cold.       Casting

Chilling doubts of myself into myself.

Freezing my aura.  In my bubble I am

No longer safe.        My combination is

Changed.        I had no idea.      I didn’t ask       didn’t need

Didn’t want it this way.

Hot   Poisonous     Chilling     Freezing     Boiling       Cold

Twisting     Strangling   Starving    Wanting      Needing      Taking

My Breath doesn’t belong to you.

I take it back.      Use your own.

Find it first…on your own.

It’s alone…Be alone…Love alone…Cry alone…. Laugh alone…Heal alone.

Appreciate     Individual

No  Smashing.

Peace.

No Wind…. No Gales…No gusts…. No Rain.

Silent.

 

 

 

 

Kendal Ann Lamarand