El Hazard: Forum Remix
An El Hazard/AnimeAddiction Forum fanfic
written by: Kendai
starring:
crossoverfanatic as Guy
Laina Inverse as Rain Aoi
Shadow Cat as Asmodeus Lotte
Chou Gotenks as Dan Tsim
Sphabmixay as Paul Sphabmixay
AKKomodo as Komodo Kalichnikov
-------------------------------------------------

Episode 1: Where No Student Has Gone Before

"So, what would you like to hear today?  A grand adventure?  An epic tale of
wondrous travels beyond the borders of the sea?  Something larger than life,
involving danger, excitement, conquest, despair and triumph?"

"I have just the tale for you, then.  It is a tale of the Heroes, those
wanderers from that distant place who brought with them hope, salvation and
justice to our lands."

"You only believe you have heard all of the stories, little one.  Certainly, you
know the tale of the Grand Sage and how he conquered the Demoness' heart with
but a touch and a word.  You have undoubtedly heard many variations of how the
Eye of God smote the invincible army of the Bugrom from our land.  Perhaps you
even know how the Lord of Shadows conquered the Phantom Tribe so they can never
again haunt the dreams of children such as yourself.  But have you ever wondered
why the Heroes did such things?  How they were able to win against such
impossible odds?  Who the Heroes really are and what they are like?"

"Indeed, they are Heroes and let no one tell you otherwise.  They are	to be
commended and honored, remembered and thanked.  But you must realize that before
they were Heroes, they were ordinary people just like yourself.  They, too, had
to go to school, eat their vegetables, take out the garbage and do all those
other things that you seem to find so abhorrent."

"I jest you not.  May the Pale Goddess strike me down if I utter any untruths."

"There, you see?  Now, are you interested in hearing this particular tale?"

"I thought you might."

"Our story begins, as most often do, once upon a time, before the War of the
Bugrom, before the awakening of the Goddess of Destruction, even before the
arrival of the Heroes in these lands.  Our story begins on a distant place
called Earth, on an island called Japan, in a crowded place called Shinonome
High School..."

***

For the most part, it was a typical day at Shinonome High.  Students were
gathering to go to class, grumbling about the workload from the day before.
Teachers were scattering from their offices, grumbling about the workload for
today.  In fact, other than the mild earthquake from the night before, there was
nothing to differentiate this morning from any other.

Of course, it was thanks to the earthquake that life was just a little more
interesting at the school.  Though the quake was strong enough to cause damage,
the damage itself was extremely localized, affecting only one section in a
single building.  While this was interesting in and of itself, what was causing
the real problems were the mysterious ruins that had been unearthed by the
quake.

As a result of the unexpected discovery, swarms of outsiders who normally
wouldn't be interested in the school descended upon the building like ants to a
picnic.  News crews and investigators jockeyed for space while construction
workers got into heated discussions with archaeological professors from nearby
universities.  Adding to the crowds were the students who were hoping for a
glimpse of the ruins.  The number of teachers present, though, was quite small.

For the most part, the students had been kept clear of the site by construction
workers and investigators alike.  A few students had managed to beat the
gathering crowds, however, and were already downstairs at the ruins themselves.
There, a reporter from the local news station was speaking into her microphone
while the cameras rolled.  A couple of other reporters, one from the school
paper and the other from the city's newspaper, took statements from the
surrounding students, most of whom were eager to claim their fifteen minutes of
fame by appearing in the upcoming articles.

Two students who had finished giving their statements were now relaxing,
watching the proceedings taking place at the entrance of the ruins.  With all of
the distractions going on around school, there was no way that classes were
going to start on time.  This gave the two a perfect excuse to slack off for a
bit.

Both teens were standing on the stairs that lead to the ruins, casually leaning
against the railing.  The shorter of the two, standing a couple of steps higher
than his companion, spoke to his friend without turning his head.  "Hey Komodo,
what do you think Jinnai's doing in there, anyway?"

Komodo shrugged.  "Beats the hell out of me, Guy.  Probably lying his ass off
again or something equally ridiculous."  He nodded his head in the direction of
the recently made hole that led towards the unearthed crypt.  "Hey, check it
out.  The camera crew's going inside."

Guy's face contorted as a thought came to him.  "Aw man, you don't think
they're gonna interview him, do you?"

An angry shout from above interrupted Komodo's reply.  Both turned their heads
to look upstairs but because they were standing on the second flight, they
couldn't see what was going on.  The voice, though, was unmistakable.  "That was
Fujisawa-sensei," Guy noted.

"Yup."

"He's telling everyone to get to class."

"Yup."

"You gonna go?"

Komodo scoffed.  "Hell no!  Why should I?  He was talking to them, not us.
Besides," he added while turning back to face the hole, "I want to hear what
Seņor Presidente has to say about the ruins."

They fell silent again long enough to hear Jinnai claim that he discovered the
ruins and wanted them named after himself.  Komodo snorted.  "What a bunch of
crap.  I heard it was some freshman who found them."

"Oh yeah?  Who?"

"Beats me," he shrugged.  "Might want to ask Rain, though.  She keeps up with
things like that better than I do," Komodo replied as he eyed the cute brunette
that walked past both teens and into the ruins.

Guy followed her movements as well but continued speaking.  "So it wasn't you,
Komodo?"

"Yeah, right, Guy.  If I did, you think I'd still be standing here listening to
this blabbermouth?"

Guy shook his head in mock sadness.  "That's too bad, 'cause I think the 'Dragon
Ruins' has a much better ring to it than the 'Jinnai Ruins.'"

Komodo rolled his eyes.  "Oh har, har.  Like I never heard that joke before.

Their conversation was once again interrupted by an angry shout.  This time, it
was Jinnai.  Curious as to what could have caused Mr. Popular to go ballistic
this time, Guy and Komodo fell silent and listened in.  After about a minute,
Guy started to snicker.  "He bribed them?  I was wondering how that guy managed
to get elected."

Komodo shook his head.  "Figures as much.  Wonder how much it took."  He turned
to his friend.  "Hey, Guy, if I ever get so pathetic that I have to pay people
to do stuff for me, just shoot me and put me out of my misery, all right?"

Still snickering, Guy replied, "Okay, but I wouldn't worry about it.  I'm
certain you'll always be able to win over everyone with that charming
personality of yours."

"Bite me."  Komodo turned and began heading upstairs.  "Well, show's over for
now.  I'm headed out.  Later."

"Yeah, later."

***

Outside, a couple of students who had finally given up at getting to the ruins
were simply hanging out behind the mass of people still surrounding the area.
One was a moderately short girl with long, light blue hair done up in a thick
French braid.  The other was a young man who stood a few inches taller than his
companion.  Though it wasn't all that bright, he was currently wearing his
sunglasses.

"This is kinda cool," the girl said in an excited tone.  "Hey, Paul-sempai, what
sort of ruins do you think they are?"

The senior in question shrugged.  "Beats me, Rain-chan.  I didn't get a chance
to look at them before everyone showed up.  What about you?"

Rain shook her head.  "Nope.  And there's no way I can see them now, that's for
sure."  She eyed the human wall that blocked her view with disdain.  Sometimes,
it just didn't pay to be short.

Paul raised his hands in a gesture of peace.  "Hey, don't get upset.  I'm sure
we'll catch the ruins on the news or something later on."

"Well, I can't wait for that.  Here."  She raised her arms in Paul's direction.
"Gimme a boost."

Paul blinked.  "You want me to lift you up?"

"Just for a minute.  I want to see inside real quick."

"No way."  Paul shook his head.  "I can't pick you up like that."

"Why not?"  Rain eyed him carefully.  "Are you saying I'm heavy?"

"Of course not.  I'm just saying that even if I lifted you up, you still
wouldn't see enough to make it worthwhile.  Besides," he grinned slyly, "I don't
want to pop my back out of joint."

"Why you--"

"Look," Paul interrupted, "right now, there's not much we can do.  Neither of us
can get in.  We're pretty much stuck with having to wait for a story on the news
or something."

Rain frowned, knowing her friend was correct.  "Yeah, I know."

"You may not want to watch the news, guys," came a new voice.  Rain and Paul
turned to locate their friend who wasn't very hard to spot.  Standing six feet
in height, he towered over his friends and most everyone else at school as well.
"After all, Jinnai's down there.  He's probably trying to suck up to the camera
and get interviewed."

Paul scowled.  "Thanks, Dan.  Like I really needed to be reminded of him."

Rain tilted her head in thought.  "Who's Jinnai?"  The name was only vaguely
familiar to her.

"Katsuhiko Jinnai, senior, recently elected President of the Student Union,"
replied Dan in a lecturing tone of voice.  "Overall scum bag."

Rain blinked.  "That bad, huh?"

"Nope," replied Paul.  "He's worse.  Dan's just too nice a guy to describe him
in full detail."

"Ah, why spend the day morning discussing something as unpleasant as Jinnai when
there's fun to be had?"  The three students turned at the voice, recognizing it
as to their friend.  Sure enough, it was Asmodeus who had once again managed to
appear right in their midsts without them noticing.  He casually threw one arm
over Paul's shoulders while grinning at the others.  "So, what's going on here,
besides the obvious?"

"Not too much, Ozzy," answered Dan.  "Just talking about the ruins."

"Did you get to see them, sempai?"

Asmodeus shook his head.  "Sorry there, Rain, I didn't get a chance.  Fujisawa-
sensei showed up and shout at everyone to get back to class.  Of course, he also
managed to drop his whiskey bottle in full view of all the students too, so it
wasn't a total loss."

"No way!"

"Oh, definitely.  But don't worry about Sensei.  He'll be fine.  It's not like
this is the first time this has happened, anyway."  Asmodeus, like the other
three present, rather liked Fujisawa.  Sure, he could be a grouch at times but
he was a fun grouch.  Plus, he was a great conversationalist after hours,
especially after he had a few drinks.

"Komodo and Guy were down in the ruins," he continued, "so we can get the full
scoop from them.  I was trying to meet up with them when Sensei came charging
in."

Rain crossed her arms over her chest.  "Well, I don't know about you guys, but I
was hoping to see them in person."

"Well, why don't we?"

Blinking, Rain, Dan and Paul looked at Asmodeus who was now sporting a large
grin.  Paul groaned and planted his face into his hand.  "Please don't say what
I think you're going to say."

"I happen to know that Fujisawa-sensei will be pulling the night shift this
evening," Asmodeus explained, ignoring Paul for the moment.  "That, combined
with what I know about the campus, means that we'll be able to get into the
building without being seen.  We can get a nice look at the ruins, maybe even
take a few pictures, and be out of there before anyone knows we've been there."

Rain grinned.  "Excellent!"  Her brow furrowed a moment later, though.  "Still,
what makes you think you can get us in without getting caught?"

Asmodeus smirked.  "Simple: 'cause I said I can."

"I've heard otherwise."

"That's what all ignorant freshmen say."  Rolling his eyes at Rain's glare,
Asmodeus jabbed his thumb into his chest.  "Look, despite my reputation on
campus, none of my friends have ever gotten in trouble over anything I've ever
pulled.  Ask Dan or Paul here if you don't believe me.  If I say I can get you
in without being seen, then I can.  Besides," he said as he leaned back, "I'll
be graduating with Paul this year, so I'll need to pass on what I know to
someone who will find the intel useful and won't use it to stab me in the back."

"He's right, y'know," agreed Paul.  "How do you think Guy's been able to do half
of what he's done, prank-wise?  Ozzy here knows the school inside and out better
than anyone."  He turned to Asmodeus.  "Hell, I'm in.  I want to see them myself
before they get closed up by some museum schmuck."

Asmodeus grinned.  "I thought you weren't interested."

Paul smirked in reply.  "You think I'm going to let this opportunity pass me by?
You have got to be kidding."

Rain nodded.  "I'm definitely in.  I'll just have to make sure my roommate
doesn't find out about this."

"How come?" asked Paul.

"'Cause she'll want to come with us and I don't feel like babysitting her,
that's why.  She's nice and all but kinda clingy."

Asmodeus shrugged indifferently.  "Not like we're all that normal but hey, whom
am I to judge?"

Paul turned to the one person who had yet to say anything.  "Dan?  You in?"

"Why not?"

"Excellent."  Asmodeus rubbed his hands together in anticipation.  Once again,
he had an opportunity to cause mischief only this time, it would involve all of
his friends.  It would be a bit of a challenge to work out but he liked a
challenge.  "Leave everything to me.  You'll know exactly where and when to meet
by the time classes are over and done with."

Not knowing Asmodeus as well as the others did, Rain looked skeptical.  "Oh
yeah?  How?"

Asmodeus pat the girl on the head, earning another glare in the process.  "Best
you not ask questions you aren't ready to hear, freshman."  He began to walk
away, waving to his friends over his shoulder.  "Well, I'm off to class.  See
everyone tonight."

"Later."

"C-ya."

"Jerk."

"I heard that."

***

That evening found not four but five students sneaking into the main campus
building.  Due to a small piece of misfortune, the gang had managed to stumble
across Komodo while en route to the faulty window on the first floor.  They had
no choice but to allow him to tag along, especially when he threatened to start
screaming at the top of his lungs and attract everyone's attention to their
illegal activity.

Once everyone had finished clamoring into the building, Paul took a moment to
scowl at Komodo.  "Dammit, why do you have to be such a pest?"

Komodo tried to look innocent and failed miserably.  "Hey, I just wanted see the
ruins, too.  Is that so wrong?"

"You've already seen them," replied Asmodeus.  "This excursion was for those of
us who had not."

"Ah, there really isn't much to see anyway," Komodo said, waving the argument
aside.  "Besides, I wanted to track down Guy.  I think he's in the building,
too."

Rain spoke up.  "The one that pulls all those pranks, right?"

"Yep," answered Paul.  "Sneaking into the school building usually means that
whatever he's working on is going to be big."  He turned to Komodo.  "Now you've
got me curious."

"And speaking of curious," Komodo continued, turning his attention to the only
female present, "what the heck are you doing carrying all that crap, Rain?"  He
hooked a finger beneath one of the straps of her mini-backpack.  "Are you
planning on camping out or something?"

"My version of a purse, jerk.  You got a problem with that?"

Stepping up to the classroom door, Asmodeus turned to his companions.  "Shhh.
Be quiet a second."  Once the others had complied, he gently eased the door open
and listened carefully.  Satisfied, he opened the door further and peered down
the halls, making sure they were free from wandering teachers.

Nodding to himself, he turned around and began whispering.  "Okay, the coast is
clear.  Stick close to me and stay quiet.  You can talk after we leave."

With that, everyone began to quietly navigate down the hall.  Well, except for
Komodo, who began to hum the theme to "Mission: Impossible."

"Would you please stop that?" Asmodeus hissed through clenched teeth.

Komodo smirked at him.  "Why?  Is it buggin' ya?"

"Yes!"

"Okay, then how about 'Smoke on the Water?'  'Stairway to Heaven?'  'Kumbaya'?"

"Why you little--"

Suddenly, Rain jerked her head to one side.  "Did you guys hear that?"

Immediately, everyone went completely silent.  For several tense seconds, no one
moved or even breathed.  Finally, Asmodeus whispered, "Hear what?  Fujisawa-
sensei?"  He was certain that Sensei would still be in his room right now
especially since he had sent Nanami over to his room earlier.

Rain shook her head.  "No.  I thought I heard Makoto-sempai."

"Makoto?  In here?"  Dan shook his head in disbelief.  "I didn't think he had it
in him."

"No, not in here," Rain replied.  "Outside, I think."

Dan stepped towards a hall window and peered out, trying to spot his friend.
"Well, maybe we should--"

Two floors up, Guy was on his back beneath the chair of Rain's desk, a glow
stick held in his clenched teeth.  It was just bright enough to work with but
dim enough not to attract unwanted attention from outside.  In one hand was a
screwdriver; the other was supporting a complicated piece of machinery that was
partly fastened dead center of the seat.  As he worked on screwing the device in
place, he chuckled periodically, trying to imagine Rain's reaction to this small
prank.  "Heh.  She needs to loosen up just a bit anyway.  Wish I could see her
face when she--"

***

"It was at this moment that the world froze in mid-motion.  No one but Makoto-
san was able to move, the others not even realizing that something was amiss.

"Makoto-san followed the voice that beckoned him, passing his fellow classmates
in the halls, wondering if they would be all right.  He even held concern for
Katsuhiko, the one who had been pursuing him so relentlessly just moments ago.

"He quickly found the source of the voice which lay in the so-called ancient
ruins in the school.  Those ruins, though, were actually the resting place for
the Pale Goddess herself, Ifurita-sama.  Ten thousand years had she been
sleeping, waiting for just this moment, when she would see her beloved prince
one final time.

"And so it came to pass that the Goddess was reunited with Makoto-san who, in a
strange twist of Fate, did not yet know her.  He was smitten with her beauty,
however, and was nearly overwhelmed by the love that poured from every fiber of
her being.  Forcing herself to release her hold on him, Ifurita-sama stepped
back and used the last ounce of her strength to send her beloved and the others
to this world, El Hazard, so that they might fulfill the roles that Fate had
assigned them and so that she would be able to see him again, for the first
time."

"Hush, child.  All will be explained in due course.  Don't you want to hear the
story as it unfolds?  It is much more exciting that way."

"Very well, I shall continue."

"When our Heroes from Earth came to El Hazard, they were confused and rightfully
so.  One moment, they were in their school in Japan.  The next, they were
somewhere entirely alien.  Plus, they had not come together.  Instead, they had
been scattered among the various lands and countries like chaff caught in a
brisk wind.  No one, save God, knew where they had gone or why.  Worse, they did
not know who had come and who did not.

"It is a terrible thing, not knowing.  How do you know who to look for?  Where
to look?  Where to even start?

"Makoto-san and Fujisawa-sensei arrived together and immediately came to the
rescue of her Highness, Rune Venus, then but a princess.  This story you know by
heart.  But what of the others?

"This is where I shall continue my tale..."

***

"--sets this... off?"

Words failed Guy as he stared into the empty space that, just a moment earlier,
held a desk and chair.  Now, the chair was missing.  So was the desk.  So was
the classroom and, by all appearances, the school, the dorms and the entire
city.

Slowly, Guy sat up, the glow stick falling from his hanging jaw.  He stared
uncomprehendingly at the empty, dry and blasted landscape that surrounded him.
Just five minutes ago, he was absolutely certain that he was in school.
Unfortunately, he was now absolutely certain that he was nowhere near his
school.  He'd seen enough anime and weird sci-fi shows to know that something
really screwed up must have just happened to him.  Either that, or he ate
something during dinner he really shouldn't have.

Before he could dwell on his situation any longer, he heard a voice cry out from
nearby.  "Hello?  Guy?  Dan?  Anybody?!"  It was a voice on the verge of panic.
It was also very familiar.

Standing, Guy turned in the direction of the voice.  "Rain?  Is that you?"

"Guy?"  Rain's voice was a bit closer now.  "Where are you, Guy?"

"I'm right...  Aw, hell, I don't know!  But stay right there!  I'm on my way!"
Grabbing hold of his glow stick, Guy began jogging towards Rain's voice.  He
quickly located her on the opposite side of a boulder.  Reaching out, he clasped
her shoulders and immediately began looking for injuries.  "Are you all right,
Rain?"

Sighing in relief, Rain nodded.  "Yeah.  Just panicked a bit, that's all.
Sorry."

Guy let loose a breath of his own.  "Don't apologize, Rain.  Heck, even I was
getting worried there.  I mean, one minute, I'm working under your desk, the
next, I'm out here in the middle of nowhere.  I don't think anyone wouldn't have
freaked out at something like this."

"Yeah.  We were all in the hall when-- waitaminute."  Relief quickly gave way to
suspicion.  "What were you doing at my desk?"

"Urk."  Gulping, Guy did his best to dodge Rain's glare.  Glares, he knew,
usually led to violence and there was no way he was going to suffer her wrath.
"H-Hey, let's not worry about that now.  First, we gotta figure out where we
are.  Then, we've got to find a way to get back home."

Dropping the subject in favor of more pressing concerns, Rain looked around,
taking in the rocky and sandy terrain.  "So you don't think this is Shinonome
either?"

Following her gaze, Guy shook his head.  "The last time I checked, Shinonome was
a lot more developed that this."  He pointed in one direction.  "We might as
well get going."

Rain fell in step beside him.  "Guy, how do you know where to go?"

"I don't.  But, I thought I saw some movement up ahead.  It might indicate
people."

"And what if they're unfriendly?"

Guy shrugged.  "Right now, we've got to take that chance.  Neither one of us is
equipped to survive out here without help."  He turned to Rain and grinned.
"Don't worry about it.  I'll figure something out before we get there."

***

Something really weird was going on.

It wasn't simply the fact that Komodo was now standing in the middle of a forest
when, just a moment ago, he was in the middle of a hallway at Shinonome High,
though certainly that had a lot to do with it.  It wasn't the flying fish-birds
he had seen overhead, either.  It wasn't even the dolphin/bear/Barney creature
he had witnessed bouncing past him.  No, what was really confusing the heck out
of him was his body.  For lack of a better term, it felt "off."  And he had
absolutely no idea what was wrong with it.

He did have a couple theories, of course.  Whatever had transported/teleported
him here (he'd already verified that this wasn't a dream or an illusion)
probably scrambled his body something fierce and put it back together.  Maybe it
had left a part out.  He had already checked his vitals, though, and everything
was fine.  A second theory was something had been added to his body.  He checked
that, too.  No extra limbs, no third eye, no tail, nothing.  A third possibility
was something had been altered.  He quickly checked.

Nope.  Still male.  Thank goodness.

Well, no matter what had happened to him, he wouldn't find his answers standing
out here in the middle of a forest.  So, he began to make his way towards the
sound of running water.  He hoped the sounds came from a stream or a river.  If
that was the case, then all he had to do was follow it until he hit
civilization.

Well, that was the plan, anyway.

How was he to know that it wasn't a river but a large pool with running water?
Or that it was a bathing area?  Or that a large number of women would be bathing
at that exact moment in time?  Or that their shrieks of embarrassment and
outrage would attract the attention of several armed guards?

Rather than stick around, Komodo decided that a rapid retreat was most
definitely in order.  At least he found civilization fairly quickly.
Unfortunately, most of that civilization was now chasing after him.

If there was one thing that Komodo was well known for, however, (other than his
ability to annoy at a drop of a hat) it was his foot speed, a survival trait he
had developed out of necessity.  Within seconds, he had gained a significant
lead against his pursuers, leaving most of them in the dust.  Still, the guards
were probably more familiar with the terrain than himself which meant that
eventually, he would probably make a mistake and find himself backed in a
corner.  So instead of blindly dashing through the forest, he decided to find a
nice place to hide and wait until the guards gave up.  With a little luck, they
might just write the incident off.

Sitting beneath the canopy of the large leaves of some unknown flora gave Komodo
plenty of time to think.  Fact: he was not in Shinonome.  The utter lack of the
school, much less the city itself pretty much solidified this theory.  Fact: he
was not in Japan any longer.  While a little more difficult to prove, the attire
of the guards and the women (what few were actually dressed) and the weapons
wielded by the guards was enough to convince him.  Fact: he was not on Earth any
longer.  It might sound insane but the strange wildlife already proved this
beyond the shadow of a doubt.

So the question remained, just where the hell was he?

"Ahem."

Startled from his thoughts, Komodo looked up and found himself staring down the
barrel of the unusual rifle the guards had been wielding.  A quick glance to
either side confirmed that he was completely surrounded.  Realizing the gig was
up, Komodo did the only thing he could:

Give a weak smile and raise his hands in surrender.

Life, Komodo mused as he was forcibly escorted to someplace unpleasant, stank.

***

It was approaching dusk as Guy and Rain slowly made their way in the direction
of what the former kept referring to as their "only hope for survival."  Guy
was certain that the thing they were pursuing was a carriage or something
similar and pointed at the recent tracks in the sandy terrain as proof.  Rain
was skeptical but kept her peace since (A) she didn't have any better ideas and
(B) this direction was as good as any.  At the very least, Guy sounded like he
knew what he was talking about so Rain was placated.

She was not, however, silent.  In an effort to maintain a sense of normality in
this strange environment, Rain had maintained a constant stream of conversation
with Guy for most of the day.  The subject matter tended to stray wildly,
however, sometimes altering in mid-sentence.  It was a bit difficult to follow
at times.

For the most part, Guy didn't mind the conversation in the least.  He had a
feeling that this was Rain's way of coping with their unusual situation since
she was normally a happy but quiet kind of girl.  He was hoping that she would
maintain the conversation as long as possible since it was obviously keeping her
mind busy.  He feared that if she began dwelling on their apparently hopeless
situation, she would fall apart.  While he would not and could not fault the
young girl for suffering an emotional break down such a situation, he also knew
that he wasn't doing much better himself.  Seeing her crumble might cause him to
quickly follow and if neither of them could function, they were as good as dead.

His thoughts were interrupted by a question from his companion.  Turning his
head to look at her, he answered.  "Yeah?"

Rain had a thoughtful expression on her face.  "Were you the person responsible
for the Popcorn Shower last semester?"

Guy chuckled at the memory.  Imagine, that much popcorn flowing from every air
conditioning vent in the school.  "Yup, that was me.  That one took a while to
set up but it was well-worth it."

Nodding, Rain continued.  "And were you the person who managed to set up all of
those alarm clocks in the gymnasium during the opening ceremonies?"

"Oh yeah!  Hah!  Nearly forgot about that one."  That little prank was elegant
in its simplicity.  He had purchased several cheap digital alarm clocks and hid
them in various spots in the gymnasium out of sight from teachers and students
alike.  All of the alarm clocks were timed to go off within a minute of each
other right in the middle of the Principal's welcoming speech.  "Y'know, it took
the faculty three weeks to finally find all of those clocks," Guy mused.
"Morning P.E. classes had alarms going off that entire time.  Drove everyone
nuts."

Again, Rain nodded her head.  "And didn't you also sabotage one of the teacher's
cars last year?"

"Well, sabotage is too strong a word.  Nothing was technically wrong with the
car; it was simply completely filled with confetti.  It was a real pain trying
to clean up but that's about it."  He held up a finger and wagged it in the air.
"Remember, Rain, I never do anything that is potentially damaging or might cause
financial ruin.  That takes the fun out of it.  My pranks are designed to cause
a bit of a ruckus or liven things up a tad, that's all."

Rain turned and looked Guy straight in the eye.  "Well, if that's the case,
tell me what you were doing under my desk before we got here."

Once again, Guy began to look nervous.  He was really starting to regret his
slip earlier that day.  This was the fifth time that she asked him about his
activity before they arrived here and he was still very reluctant to explain it
to her.  After all, he was quite fond of the shape of his nose.  "Um, well,
y'see, I, uh--"

"Guy."

The serious tone in her voice stopped Guy in his tracks.  "Um, yeah?"

"I'm hot.  I'm hungry.  I'm thirsty.  We've been walking for hours now and my
legs are sore and my feet are killing me.  Right now, I want to do nothing but
collapse and go to sleep but I've kept on walking without complaining once
because I really think you're right about that help.  However, I am starting to
really get irritated at the way you keep dodging my question.  I want to know
what you were doing underneath my desk before we arrived here.  I promise I
won't get mad."

Guy gulped.  Rain's statement was a lie even if she believed she was telling
the truth.  In her current state of mind, she was likely to kill him when she
found out the exact details of what he had planned.  She was in no mood to treat
his planned prank lightly.  Unfortunately, she had him pinned.  There was no way
he could duck out of talking about his actions now without invoking her wrath.
What he needed was a miracle, an honest-to-God miracle to save his hide.
Desperate, he cast his eyes about wildly...

...and found his miracle.

Excitement exploded on Guy's face as he pointed to something in the distance.
"Rain!  Look!"

"Guy, I'm not interested in--"

"I mean it, Rain!  Look there!"

Frustrated beyond belief, Rain turned to see what had gotten her friend so
agitated and promptly forgot what she had been talking about before.  "That's a
fire, isn't it?"

Nodding his head quickly, Guy leaned in close.  "Yup!  Look close, Rain.  You
can even see the people and the carts from here.  They're setting up camp and
they've got a fire going.  They probably have food and water, too.  This means
we're saved!  C'mon, let's go!"

Grabbing her hand, Guy began to lead Rain towards the distant campsite.  Relief
was plain on both their features.  Finally, at long last, they're arduous
journey was at an end.

***

In another part of the world, Asmodeus wandered through an unfamiliar landscape
of trees and unusual hexagonal structures.  Even though he had no idea where he
was or where he was going, he continued to move forward.  The sooner he found
signs of civilization, the sooner he'd be able to figure out what had happened.
Idly, he wondered if anyone else in his little entourage had been transported
here as well.

Idle wondering was soon interrupted by a very familiar sound.

"HA-ha-HA-ha-HA-ha-HA-ha-HA-ha-HA!!"

Asmodeus mumbled a few choice expletives.  "Great.  Jinnai."

Sighing, the lost Shinonome student began making his way towards the near-
hysterical cackling.  Of all the people he could get stuck travelling with, he
had to find Jinnai.  Still, he was better than nothing and unlike most, Asmodeus
never had a problem dealing with self-absorbed President.  Working around him
while keeping sane was a simple matter of feeding him just what he wanted to
hear at just the right times.  Do that and he'd consider you a friend for life.

As he stepped from the bushes and into a clearing, he noticed that Jinnai,
seated in front of a moderately sized fire, was surrounded by several distinctly
inhuman silhouettes.  In fact, he mused as all the figures stood as one to face
him, they kind of had a bug-like appearance about them.  This hypothesis was
reinforced by the large eyes and antennae that adorned their heads.

Faced with about a dozen giant mutant bugs, each one approaching him with the
possible intention of causing him severe bodily harm, Asmodeus did the only
thing that came to mind:

"President Jinnai!  It is I, Asmodeus!"

Bluff his ass off.

Hearing his name and title spoken aloud, Jinnai stepped forward to get a better
look.  "Ah, so it is," he replied in a superior voice.  "What are you doing
here, Asmodeus?"

Taking this as a good sign, Asmodeus approached the fire, his mind working
furiously to come up with something that would immediately get him in Jinnai's
good graces since it seemed he was the one in charge of the giant mutant bugs.
"I found myself wandering around in this forest when I had just been inside the
school building, tearing down those blasphemous posters calling for your
impeachment.  When I heard your voice, I had to see with my own eyes if you were
really here."

Jinnai's grin widened.  "Indeed I am.  And I am delighted to hear of your
support of my righteous cause at Shinonome High.  Come, sit with me and my
newfound allies."

Following the deluded fool, Asmodeus took a seat next to Jinnai and began to
warm his hands by the fire.  "I can't believe that you've managed to procure a
devoted following so quickly after arriving in such an alien environment," he
continued, using his slightly awed voice.  "Your natural charisma and leadership
skills never cease to amaze me."

Jinnai took a moment to laugh in triumph.  "You can imagine my surprise when I
found myself standing in the middle of this forest with no idea where I was or
how I got here.  However, I soon discovered my new followers," he indicated the
giant mutant bugs that sat in a circle on either side of the duo, "and realized
that my Presidency at Shinonome High was merely a stepping stone to this, my
true destiny."

Nodding his head, Asmodeus accepted a golden brick from the bug to his right.
"So, what happens next?"

"We make our way to the center of the kingdom where my friends here wish to
present me to their queen.  After that, I'm certain that I will finally get what
I've always deserved."  He grinned confidently at Asmodeus who managed not to
snicker at Jinnai's poor word choice.  "I know of your reputation at Shinonome
and what you managed to accomplish there," Jinnai continued.  "Stick with me and
you'll go even farther than you did back at school.  Just you wait, Asmodeus,
I'm going to rise to the top and finally reach the status that is rightfully
mine!  HA-ha-HA-ha-HA-ha-HA-ha-HA-ha-HA!!"

Resisting the urge to roll his eyes, Asmodeus sniffed at the brick in his hands.
Finding nothing wrong with it, he followed the bug's pantomimed movements and
took a small bite out of it.  "WHAAAH!!"

Jinnai calmed enough to see Asmodeus' reaction to tasting the honey bar.  "I
call it the 'mana of the gods.'  It's great, isn't it?"

"That it is, Jinnai.  That it is."  Idly, he wondered just how many bites he
could swallow before his pancreas exploded.  Still, it was food and he was
hungry.  Hiding his grimace, he took another bite.

As he chewed, he thought about what Jinnai had said.  Scrapping away the
delusional ravings, he came to two conclusions: one, that Jinnai didn't know
what happened either; and two, it was highly probable that the others got sent
here as well.  Hopefully, they were faring better than himself.

Listening to Jinnai's laugh, he wasn't sure how any of the others could possibly
be doing worse.

***

Laying flat on his back on the cold dungeon floor, Komodo couldn't think how
anyone else could possibly be doing any worse than himself.

He had discovered, much to his chagrin, that he hadn't been lost in the
wilderness like he had first thought.  Instead, he had been dropped dead in the
middle of the forested garden that fenced in the bathing area for the numerous
maidens that worked at the palace (he had yet to get its name).  This explained
why he was discovered so quickly.  Well, that and all of the dead flora that was
surrounding him, too.  He still wasn't sure how that happened.  He had
proclaimed his innocence on both matters as he was dragged to his cell but his
protests fell on deaf ears.

Now he was simply laying in the dungeon, bored to tears.  He had finished the
meal the guards had brought about an hour ago but was still feeling a bit
hungry.  He doubted that he'd get seconds, though, and he knew better than to
ask.  He didn't want to dig himself any deeper than he was already.  Still, if
there was one thing that Komodo hated it was being bored.  So he picked himself
up and began to work through the various forms of Shotokan Karate he knew,
figuring that he might as well get some practice in.

He was in the middle of a second set when the doors to his cell began to open.
Dropping from position, Komodo turned to face the entryway and nearly fell over
in shock as the uniformed guards escorted two very familiar faces into his
cell.  One was Makoto Mizuhara, a senior at his school.  The other was his
history professor, Fujisawa.  Both of them looked shell-shocked, something
Komodo attributed to being thrown into the dungeon.

Makoto instantly noticed the attire his fellow cell mate was wearing.  "Hey,
aren't you from Shinonome High as well?"

"Yeah.  Name's Komodo.  Komodo Kalichnikov, freshman.  You're Makoto, right?"

The senior nodded.  "I thought I recognized you.  I passed you in the hall while
you were frozen solid."

That statement caused Komodo to furrow his brow in thought.  "Whaddya mean,
'frozen solid?'"  He was curious as to what had happened to him and it appeared
that Makoto knew more than himself.

"Never mind that," interrupted Fujisawa-sensei as he turned to face the taller
of the two boys.  "Just tell me why you were wandering in the halls after school
hours, Komodo."

Komodo blinked.  A zillion miles from Japan standing in the middle of a dungeon
and Fujisawa-sensei was worried about his extra-curricular activities?  He was
so surprised he forgot to come up with a half-way decent lie.  "Nothing, really.
I just wanted to check out the ruins beneath the school, that's all."

Folding his arms across his chest, Fujisawa took on the role of disciplinarian.
"Unauthorized entry into the school buildings is an automatic three days
detention, Komodo.  I'll see to it that your record is marked when we get back
to Shinonome."

Incredulous, Komodo stared at his teacher like he had grown a second head.  "Say
what?!  You mean that on top of getting ripped from Japan against my will,
dropped off in the middle of the women's bath and thrown into a dungeon, I gotta
serve detention?  Are you NUTS?!"

"You peeped on a woman's bathhouse?!"  Fujisawa, apparently, only caught part of
Komodo's explosion and promptly exploded himself.

Komodo looked ready to tear his hair out by the roots.  "NO!  I told you I got
dropped near one!"

"You said you were dropped IN one!"

"I made a mistake!  That tends to happen when you don't know what the hell's
going on!"

"Students should not be using such foul language, either!  That's another day of
detention for you."

"ARGH!!"

***

"Say WHAT?!"

The caravan owner looked at the two wandering vagabonds impatiently.  "I said, I
will not allow you to travel with us.  There is no room on this caravan for
ignorant travellers who can't even prepare for a journey through the desert."

Guy was doing his level best not to punch the merchant straight in the face.
Running his hand through his hair, he tried reasoning with the man once more.
"Look, we already told you, we don't know how we got in the middle of the
desert.  We just need some help, that's all.  Some food, some water and maybe--"

"No!"  Whirling around, the dark-skinned man glared at the youth who continued
to pester him.  "We barely possess enough supplies for ourselves.  We certainly
cannot divide them further just to serve a couple of useless children such as
yourself."

"Fine!  We'll work off the debt.  How's that sound?"

The man snorted in derision.  "I have no jobs available for you, either.  Now,
be off with you!  And don't let me catch you trying to pilfer from our wagons!"
He continued to glare at the teen, willing him to leave.

Guy was absolutely livid.  Having finally caught up with the caravan, he had
been hoping to receive help for both himself and Rain.  Unfortunately, he had
not counted on the caravan owner being such a stubborn ass.  He could not walk
away, though.  Without supplies, he and Rain would not survive another day in
the desert.  He needed to do something, anything to help their situation.

Turning slightly, he eyed Rain who had remained silent throughout the entire
exchange.  Guy knew she was exhausted, both mentally and physically and was as
desperate for aid as himself.  But more importantly, she was his friend and had
placed all of her trust in him.  He could not fail her, not now, not ever.

Coming to a decision, he turned to face the man and spoke in a softer voice.
"Please, if you don't have enough for the both of us, at least give her
something.  She needs help, badly.  I'm begging you here."

The caravan owner glanced over to the girl in question as if seeing her for the
first time.  His harsh expression softened slightly as he looked at her and for
a moment, it appeared as if he might have changed his mind.  But when he looked
back at Guy, his eyes hardened once more.  "I said no, and I meant it.  Now,
will you two remove yourselves from our presence or will I have to-- urk!!"

Whatever else he was going to say was cut off as a pair of hands reached out,
grabbed the front of his cloak and yanked him down to eye level.  Surprisingly,
it wasn't Guy who did this but Rain who was now glaring at the man with
uncharacteristic anger flashing in her eyes.

"You selfish bastard," she began in a low, dangerous voice.  "Do you have any
idea how long we've been walking in the sun?  How tired we are?  How thirsty?
We didn't ask to come here!  We didn't WANT to come here!  It wasn't our FAULT!
We're stuck in the middle this desert with no food or water and the only people
around for a thousand miles would rather let us DIE IN THE DESERT RATHER THAN
HELP--"

*KRAK-THOOM!!*

A sudden explosion of thunder and lightning caught everyone off-guard and
stopped Rain in mid-rant.  Everyone looked up to the sky that, only moments
before, had been crystal clear.  Now, a large thundercloud loomed directly
overhead, blocking out a portion of the moon.  Before anyone could wonder about
the sudden appearance of the cloud, lightning flashed once more and it began to
rain.

Guy, Rain and the caravan owner stood in shock over this development.  The
owner, however, quickly recovered and began barking orders to the other members
of his group.  "Bring out the empty containers, quickly!  Roll out the
collectors!  We must hurry before the storm disappears!"

In moments, over a dozen people spilled from their tents and shelters and began
dragging large urns and drums into the open.  They fastened large, fan-like fins
to the rims of several of the larger drums to better catch the rain and funnel
the water into the containers.  While the adults worked, several children ran
out into the open, laughing, dancing and playing, getting completely soaked and
loving every second of it.

Guy was dumbfounded.  He turned to Rain whose expression matched his.  "Well,
this is ironic."  She nodded her head in agreement.  Both were so overwhelmed at
this unexpected development that neither of them made any move to seek shelter.

The caravan owner finally remembered the wet pair and came over to them, a large
smile on his face.  "Please, pardon my earlier rudeness.  Come with me and we
shall get you food, water and dry clothing."

Shaking himself back to awareness, Guy locked gazes with the man.  "Just a
second ago, you couldn't wait to get rid of us.  Now, you're inviting us in?
What gives?"

Looking up, the man spread his arms wide.  "Rain is a rare commodity in the
desert.  That we have received this unexpected bounty in your presence is a sure
sign that God wants us to aid you.  Please, come with us.  We shall provide you
with whatever you require."

Confused and not entirely trusting of the man before them, neither Guy nor Rain
had any other choice but to follow him beneath the shelter of one of the tents.
As soon as they were out of the rain, both shivered violently, their bodies
finally realizing just how cold they had become.

A dark-skinned woman, perhaps in her forties, stood as the two entered.  "Oh,
look at the two of you!  Quickly, out of those clothes before you catch your
death of cold!"  As she spoke, she began rummaging through a couple of chests,
withdrawing some clothing for the two lost students to wear.  Turning, she held
out an outfit, sizing it against Rain's slight frame.  "I believe this will work
just fine, young lady."  She motioned for Rain to hurry.  "Please, disrobe."

Rain, understandably, began to fidget.  "Um, I..."  Her eyes darted between Guy
and the woman, her cheeks reddening slightly.

Comprehension dawned on the woman's features.  "One moment."  Reaching up and
behind her, the woman took hold of a large sheet than hung from the top of the
tent and pulled it across the open area, dividing the room into two.  She
politely pushed Guy to the other side before dropping the curtain completely.
"There.  Now you have your privacy."  Her eyes crinkled with amusement.

Fighting down her blush, Rain began stripping the soaked clothes from her body,
shivering as the air hit her wet skin.  The woman took the clothing from Rain
and handed the teen a towel to dry herself with.  "I haven't seen such clothing
before," the woman state as she examined the blue slacks and white blouse in her
hands.  "Where are you and your companion from?"

Finished with her drying, Rain began pulling on the clothing given to her,
wincing slightly at the fabric's roughness.  "Oh, we're from Japan, specifically
Shinonome city."

"I've never heard of such a place.  Is it far from here?"

"Um, I guess you could say that," the teen replied as she tied a sash around her
waist.  "Oh!"  Turning to face the woman, she bowed low.  "My name is Rain.
Rain Aoi.  Thank you for helping us."

"Your name is Rain?"  Seeing the young girl nod, the woman smiled.  "A girl
named 'Rain' who brings with her the rain.  Certainly, your arrival here is a
sign from God.  My name is Etel and I'm happy to help you.  Have a seat here."
She indicated a small cushion on the floor next to a chest.  "I shall fetch you
some food and drink.  Please wait a moment."  Draping a cloak over her
shoulders, Etel walked out of the tent and into the downpour.

Seated on the comfortable cushion, Rain let out a huge sigh of relief.  Finally,
she could relax.  "Hey Guy?"

"Yeah?"  Guy's voice sounded a bit muffled.

"You okay?"

"Yeah.  Just trying to get this shirt-- Ah!  Got it!  Hey, you decent?"

Rain yawned.  "Sure.  Come on over."

Brushing aside the privacy curtain, Guy stepped over to Rain and sat next to
her.  "I don't know if that guy was telling the truth or not, but at least we've
got some help, right?"

Yawning again, Rain nodded her head.  "Uh-huh.  Sorry 'bout yelling at you
earlier, Guy."  She blinked a few times before deciding to rest her eyes for
just a minute.

Guy shook his head.  "You didn't yell, Rain.  Well, not at me.  Besides, you
were just upset, that's all.  I don't blame you.  Heck, I'd be surprised if you
didn't try to-- eh?"  He fell silent as he felt something hit his shoulder.
Looking over to the side, he noticed that Rain had fallen fast asleep and had
slumped over to lean against him.

"All dressed, I see."

Looking up, Guy saw Etel enter the tent, a small cloth bag in hand.  "Yeah.
Thanks for helping us out there, Etel.  I just don't understand why what's-his-
name didn't help us earlier."

Etel sighed.  "While my husband can be a bit abrasive, he is not cruel.  The
reason he didn't help you earlier was that he was afraid it was a trick."

Guy blinked.  "Why would we try to trick him?"

"Not you.  Sand Pirates."

"Sand Pirates?"

"Yes.  Criminals who target travelling caravans such as ours to rob us of
supplies, money and anything else of value.  They are not above pretending to be
helpless travellers just to get inside our camps."

"Ah."  Guy nodded his head.  "That makes sense.  I guess I'd be kinda nervous
letting a complete stranger in my house, too."

"I was going to offer you a light meal," Etel indicated the small sack she had
brought with her, "but it looks as if you might want to get some rest first.
Please feel free to make yourselves more comfortable.  My husband and I can
sleep on the other side," she said as she pointed to the privacy curtain.
"Though you may want to refrain from any... strenuous activity until you recover
your stamina."  Her eyes practically sparkled with mirth.

"Huh?"  Being a bit tired himself, it took Guy several moments to understand
Etel's insinuations.  Once he did, however, he flushed as red as Rain did
earlier.  "H-Hey!  It's not like that!"

Etel's only response was a small giggle as she rose and began pulling out a
spare blanket.  "You young people still take things much too seriously.  Here,
you may use this."

Guy accepted the blanket, somehow managing to balance it and Rain without
dropping either on the floor.  "Um, thanks."

"Get some rest, young man.  You can tell us your story in the morning."  With
that, Etel walked to the opposite side of the tent, taking hold of the small oil
lamp that hung from a hook mounted on the center support pole.  She closed the
privacy curtain behind her, casting Guy's side into darkness.

Blinking, Guy looked at the blanket in his hands then at Rain resting on his
shoulder.  "Okay, how do I do this and not get killed in the morning?"

***

"Well, am I supposed to be impressed by all this?"

Despite Jinnai's flippancy, Asmodeus was quite impressed with what he saw.
These giant mutant bugs were certainly more advanced than he had anticipated.
The sheer size of the citadel they were inside spoke highly of their
construction skills while the interior reflected their attention to detail.  It
seemed as if everything served a purpose.

After hours of walking through the barren but surprisingly flat terrain that
surrounded the capital building, Asmodeus and Jinnai, along with a couple of bug
escorts, found themselves travelling down an enormous hexagonal corridor equal
in width to a six or eight lane highway.  Bugs of varying types lined the halls
on either side, most likely standing guard.  Asmodeus noted that there seemed to
be six main types of "standard" bugs here, the purple ones being the most
numerous.  He and Jinnai passed several other types of bugs on the way inside
but it appeared that the humanoid bugs were the most common.

As they made their way to the throne room, Asmodeus wondered what the queen
would look like.  Several chapters of biology textbooks cycled through his mind
as he considered the possibilities, then decided to simply wait and see.  The
giant mutant bugs didn't really look like any insects he had ever seen; their
queen was probably just as unusual looking.

All things considered, Asmodeus had to admit that things were not nearly as bad
as they had first appeared.  Even though he still didn't have a plan, he trusted
his instincts to keep him going, the same instincts that had kept him out of
trouble for years back in Japan.  So far, his improvisation had been without
flaw.  His only complaint so far was that he couldn't communicate with the giant
mutant bugs himself.  He needed to get some worthwhile information and these
bugs were the only "people" around that might have what he required.
Unfortunately, with Jinnai acting as interpreter, he was quite leery of voicing
his questions.

Asmodeus tilted his head in thought, a question coming to fore.  "President
Jinnai, a question if you would."

The student in question sighed as if answering was an imposition.  "Very well,
ask away."

Ignoring the young man's attitude, Asmodeus asked, "How is it that you are able
to understand your companions so fluently?  I certainly have little talent for
their language."

Jinnai smirked though he did not turn to face his companion.  "Ah, I suppose
it's a natural gift to those destined for greater things."

"I see."  Translation: I don't know.  Asmodeus quaked with momentary anger
though he hid it from view.  Jinnai was certainly a pompous ass back at home but
now he was even worse.  His newly acquired ability had certainly gone to his
head.  Then again, if Asmodeus somehow managed to acquire an ability to talk
with and lead an entire race, perhaps he would be just a little more arrogant
as well.

The thought made him pause.  What if he, too, had acquired some new superhuman
ability?

Before he had a chance to dwell on the question, he and Jinnai stepped into a
coliseum-sized room.  Stalactites larger than a commuter bus hung from the
ceiling, the honeycomb-shaped windows scattered across their surface spilling
out a soft, pale light.  The walkway terminated at the base of a set of stairs
which led to an elaborate throne, surrounded by geometric columns short and
tall.  Small bonsai-like trees were planted atop several of these columns.

From the throne rose a distinctly feminine figure.  Asmodeus was somewhat
surprised but held himself in check.  From this distance, it was difficult to
discern her exact appearance but he could tell that she was wearing some sort of
costume or armor.  Either that or she was actually a bug with an even stronger
humanoid appearance.

"I am Diva," the woman began, addressing the two teens that stood before her.
"I am Queen of the omnipotent Bugrom empire."

Proudly, Jinnai took a step forward.  "I am Katsuhiko Jinnai, undisputed ruler
of Shinonome High!"  Asmodeus somehow managed not to choke on his tongue.

"Ah!"  Diva looked positively excited at Jinnai's words.  "Could it be that your
arrival here in our palace is the long-awaited advent?"

Jinnai looked confused but decided to play along.  "Um, sure!  Of course it is!"

Asmodeus began to fidget.

"Then tell me, Jinnai," Diva continued, "are you the messenger from God sent to
lead us?"

It was at this point that Asmodeus realized he was in way over his head.  As far
as he was concerned, attributing unusual events to religious miracles always led
to enormous problems.  Unfortunately, he was backed into a corner.  Here he was
in the center of an citadel on an unknown planet completely surrounded by an
inhuman race who probably would not take their intrusion very lightly if Queen
Diva became convinced that they were not messengers from God.  His survival
instincts were screaming at him to play along.  His common sense was yelling
that playing along would be a gargantuan mistake.  The biggest problem, however,
was that his life was currently riding on Jinnai's next few words.  This fact
did not sit very well with him.

The self-proclaimed ruler of Shinonome High tilted his head slightly as he
contemplated Queen Diva's words.  "Messenger, eh?"

Diva's eyes narrowed as she gazed upon Jinnai.  "I am asking you if you are the
messenger from God sent to lead us to victory in battle against our enemies in
El Hazard."

"Indeed he is."  Asmodeus stepped forward and immediately fell to one knee.  "I
am Asmodeus Lotte, follower of God's messenger Katsuhiko Jinnai, future general
of your Bugrom armed forces."

Taking his cue, Jinnai lifted his fist in the air.  "Yes!  Victory and conquest!
That is my mission here!"

"So it is true!  You have finally arrived!"  Diva's eyes positively glowed with
excitement.

A loud cheer came from all sides as the Bugrom thrust their arms in the air in
celebration.  Jinnai began speaking loudly, proclaiming his greatness to the
ignorant hordes but Asmodeus was only half-listening to the rant.  Instead, he
was busy cursing himself for opening his mouth.  Seeing as how Jinnai was most
likely going to screw things up and possibly get the both of them killed,
Asmodeus had stepped in to pull their hides from the fire.  This time, however,
his victory tasted of ashes.  Jinnai had just become the general of the Bugrom
hordes and considering his track record, Asmodeus knew that this situation would
be disastrous.

Before, Jinnai was just deranged.  Now, Jinnai was deranged with a monstrously
huge army of giant bugs at his beck and call.  He had finally acquired exactly
what he had always wanted his entire life: completely devoted followers who
would obey his every command.  It was quite apparent that he was planning to use
his newfound followers to conquer El Hazard, exactly as Diva expected of him.

Asmodeus clenched his fist in frustration.  He had to do something to stop
Jinnai.  Since he was the person responsible for him receiving this position, it
fell to him to stop the would-be Napoleon.  He wasn't sure exactly how he would
accomplish this, but he absolutely had to do something.  He had to.

He was so deep in thought that he failed to notice the shadows beneath his body
ripple and quake in tune with his anger.

***

Several hours and over a week's worth of detentions later, Komodo finally got
the full story from Makoto and Fujisawa-sensei.  The information failed to
really answer any of his questions, though.  How, exactly, was he brought here?
Magic?  Science?  The strange woman responsible for the transportation was
obviously connected to Makoto in some way so it made sense the senior would be
transported, but why was he and Fujisawa sent as well?  Was anybody else sent as
well?  If so, where were they?  And what the hell was wrong with his body?

"Wait a minute!"  Makoto's voice interrupted his thoughts.  "Hey, Sensei, what
sort of weapon do you think the Eye God is?"

Komodo pointed up.  "That huge Death Star-looking thing in the sky?"

"Yeah, that's it."

Fujisawa, laying on his side, puffed on a cigarette.  "I don't know.  Some sort
of doomsday weapon, I think.  Maybe it's a nuclear bomb."

Makoto turned to face the two of them.  "Hey, I just got an idea."

Interested, Komodo sat up.  "Well, what is it?"

Fujisawa lurched to his feet.  "A drink's more important to me right now than
your idea!  I need a drink!"  He clutched his head and began staggering around,
much to the amusement of Komodo who had never seen his history professor lose it
like this before.  "If I don't get a drink soon, then HAH!"  With that, Fujisawa
lashed out with a punch that should have crushed every bone in his hand.
Instead, the wall shattered, leaving behind a rather sizeable hole that led to
the next dungeon cell.

Komodo gaped at his teacher, completely flabbergasted.  Sure, he had heard
Makoto talk about Fujisawa's superhuman strength earlier but it was quite
different seeing it in person.

Before anyone could comment about Fujisawa's feat of strength, their cell door
opened, revealing two royal guards.  Stepping forward, they noticed the hole in
the wall and stared at Fujisawa, shocked and a bit nervous.  The teacher in
question could only laugh nervously as he stared back.

***

"Would you care for another glass, sir?"

Komodo shook his head.  "Nah.  I'm fine.  Thanks, though."  He eyed the palace
servant as she nodded her head and sat away and a little behind him.

He sighed.  Right now, he was eating a late breakfast in one of the myriad of
gardens in the palace.  While that was all well and good, it was his dismissal
from the morning proceedings that had him in the dumps.  Apparently, her Royal
Highness Rune Venus, was incapable of taking a joke, especially when it
concerned her future husband, but what was he supposed to do?  When an apparent
weenie like Galus stepped into their room, unannounced, and to the obvious
annoyance of most everyone there, he simply could not resist.  The fact that he
managed to refrain from speaking until after the prince had left the room was
probably the only thing that saved him from a repeat visit to the dungeon.
Still, calling him a "prissy queer pedophile" was probably a bit much.

Komodo thought it over for a second.  "Nah."

"Sir?"

Turning to face the servant girl, Komodo smiled.  "Nothing, Tasha.  Just
thinking out loud."

Turning back to his meal, Komodo began thinking about what was going on inside.
Earlier that morning, Makoto and Fujisawa had been invited to speak with chief
servant Londs once again.  Komodo was able to accompany them once it was
revealed that he, too, had been warped to El Hazard like the others.  Still, he
had experienced the shock of his life when he finally found out exactly what
Londs wanted to talk about.  Makoto in drag?  He had just about fallen over in
surprise.

The senior in question had floored everyone, though, by agreeing to impersonate
the lost princess Fatora for the time being.  He explained to Fujisawa and
Komodo that he needed to play along so he could learn more about the Eye of God,
a device that might be able to send them back to Earth.  The fact that he was
willing to put up with wearing dresses and make-up demonstrated just how serious
he was about getting everyone home.

Normally, Komodo would have made some smart-ass comment about a guy prancing
around like Priscilla, Queen of the Desert, but Makoto's words got him thinking.
Did he want to go back home?  After all, life pretty much sucked back there.
Barring the initial confusion and jail time, life was a lot more enjoyable here.
Not once had he been yelled at or generally cursed for being born.  He was
getting a good meal and had great company in the form of Tasha, the servant girl
assigned to keep him out of trouble.  He didn't mind her company, though,
especially since there seemed to be some rule at the palace about servant girls
having to be damn cute.

He took a sidelong glance at her which she noticed.  She smiled prettily in
return.

Nope, he didn't mind at all.

Popping a grape in his mouth, Komodo leaned back on the bench he was seated upon
and stretched backwards.  As he did so, a flower brushed the fingertips of his
left hand.  Thinking that he might impress Tasha even more by offering the
flower to her, Komodo turned to pluck it from the bush.  Anticipation turned to
dismay then confusion as he noticed the flower had suddenly wilted.

Narrowing his eyes, Komodo pulled the now-dead bloom from its stem and examined
it closely.  While no botanist, even he could tell that the flower had an
unusual odor about it.  Something had killed this flower rather abruptly and the
only thing he could figure that could have done it was himself.  But how?  He
barely touched the thing.  Did he have some Midas death touch or something?  He
quickly recalled all of the dead plants that surrounded him when he was arrested
yesterday.  Did this thing only work with plants?  Or could affect people, too?

"Is something the matter, sir?"

Snapping his head up, Komodo saw Tasha reaching a hand towards him.  Panicking,
he snatched his arm away before she could touch him.  "N-No!  No problems at
all!  I'm fine!  Ha ha ha!"  He brought his free hand to the back of his neck
and laughed nervously.

A look of disappointment flashed across the young girl's face but was quickly
hidden beneath a polite smile.  "Have you finished your meal, sir?"

Komodo nodded.  "Yeah.  It was good.  You should've had some."

"Servants do not eat in front of guests, sir," she explained.  "It would be
impolite.  We have our own assigned meal times away from royalty and visiting
dignitaries alike."  Standing, she gathered his plates and glass.  "If you would
wait here a moment, sir, I shall take these to the kitchen and return shortly."

Komodo stood as Tasha did.  "Hey, I'll come with you."  Her surprised expression
made him grin.  Lifting a hand to forestall any impending argument, he went on.
"If you don't let me tag along, who knows what kind of trouble I'll get into?  I
don't want to wind up in jail again.  Besides," he thumbed his chest, "I'm not
royalty or a visiting dignitary.  I'm just an ordinary guy.  I don't mind
looking at a kitchen."

He could tell Tasha was giving the matter a lot of thought and was glad when
she finally smiled and nodded in agreement.  "Very well, sir.  I suppose there
is nothing in the kitchen that could give you trouble."

"Great!  Lead the way."  As they walked, Komodo considered his plight.  Like
Fujisawa-sensei, he had received some weird power as a result of coming to El
Hazard.  That's why his body felt "off."  What he didn't know was whether or not
his power could affect people as well as plants.  Until he knew for certain, he
had to be very careful.  If he wasn't, the consequences could be potentially
bad.

As Tasha winked at him over her shoulder, Komodo revised his opinion: the
consequences were potentially catastrophic.

***

Hours later, Asmodeus found himself standing atop a Bugrom troop transport, a
massive Bugrom specifically bred for carrying other, smaller Bugrom.  He stood
to the rear of the flying Bugrom, eyeing Jinnai carefully who was currently
cackling in anticipation of the battle ahead.  Below them was a continental mass
of Bugrom marching in formation, battle standards raised high.  It was an
invasion force of considerable magnitude and Asmodeus was stuck right in the
middle of it.

Earlier, he had tried speaking with Jinnai, his subtle and probing questions
aimed at discovering whether or not the maniacal student could be persuaded to
halt his mad quest.  It was of no use, though.  Jinnai was thoroughly immersed
in his role as military conqueror.  Under normal circumstances, this would be a
laughable situation at best and downright embarrassing at worst.  But these were
far from normal circumstances.

Whether or not Jinnai could actually lead an army was still a debatable point.
However, Queen Diva firmly believed that Jinnai was a messenger from God and
that their hour of victory had come.  The Bugrom, in turn, followed Jinnai with
a near fanatical devotion, eager to do whatever he commanded.  Asmodeus knew
enough about history to know exactly how dangerous fanatics could be.

Right now, however, his hands were tied.  Surrounded as they were, the only
thing Asmodeus could do was bide his time and wait for an opportunity to present
itself.  Then he would strike.  He prayed that the Alliance's defenses could
hold out until such time.

Jinnai's laughter continued to ring in his ears long into the night.

***

"And so the Heroes and Villains of this tale had taken their positions on El
Hazard.  In a matter of days, the entire country would be enveloped in a grand
war fought on three fronts.  On one side lay Katsuhiko and Queen Diva's Bugrom
hordes.  On the opposing side lay the Alliance, led by Princess Rune Venus.  The
third side held the mysterious and secretive Phantom Tribe whose true goals in
the upcoming war remained cloaked in shadows.  And scattered amongst all of
these factions were the individuals we have come to know as the Heroes.

"As you can tell, most of them did not start off being heroic, at least not in
the classical sense.  They were normal people thrown into an abnormal situation,
simply doing their best to cope and survive in this strange and wonderful place.
However, within them dwelled the ability to grow and mature into the roles of
Heroes and, eventually, that is exactly what happened."

"What was that?"

"Of course I will continue my tale but not tonight.  It is quite late and you
must be getting your rest.  Young ladies such as yourself need your beauty
sleep, after all."

"No arguments.  I promise I will return tomorrow evening to continue."

"Thank you.  Pleasant dreams."

***

end episode 1

Author's notes:

Woo hoo!  It's done!  Thanks for all of your encouraging comments in the forum,
guys.  I can honestly say I wouldn't have been able to complete this fic without
your help.

Paul, Dan, I know neither of you have been reintroduced in the story yet but try
not to worry.  Both of you will be introduced first thing in chapter two.  I
personally guarantee this.

Oh, and in case you were curious, the digital alarm clock prank I described
really did happen, though it took place in college, not high school.  It
occurred in the chapel during a celebratory service that marked the birthday of
the founder of the college.  Right in the middle of the guest speaker's speech,
at least four alarm clocks starting going off, one right after the other.  One
was discovered and silenced within a minute but the others were too well hidden.
I was seated in the audience along with my parents and I could barely stop
laughing the entire time.  My father thought it was funny as hell, too, even
though he found the noise quite irritating.

Should I insert an advisory message in here saying that it's wrong to pull
pranks like this?  Nah.  Either you're smart enough to not pull them yourself or
you're clever enough to get away with it.  If you decide to try this, though,
let me know how it turns out.

Since Laina had stated that Rain would normally wears boy's clothing, I decided
to give her the standard Shinonome High boy's uniform with a white blouse
instead of a shirt.

4/5/03 - Updated the fic, reworking a few things I felt sounded off, wrong or
just plain dumb.  Yes, I'm a perfectionist but hopefully it'll all work out for
the best in the end.

See you in episode two.