Invokation of the New Year Slop
Mungling the Brambles
Carrying the Candles
February
'Winkle In My Handbag' Event
Fill your handbags with winkles! Hosted by Denise Van Outen.
Skipton Buttock Exhibition
Not for the faint-hearted.
Well-Dressed Well-Dressing Show
Well I never. Nipping the buds!
March
Skipton Ale Extravaganza
The guest ale is - Carlsburg!
Annual Pie-Eaters' Convention
Do NOT miss this ultimate pie-eating experience!
Journeys in Flight
Follow in the footsteps of the earliest magnificent men in their flying machines, well, not exactly footstep, but flying steps, as we take to the skies in early flying mobiles, such as Ingmar's Floating Bubbleped, Dr Harris's Tri-Winged Wonderment and The Earth-defying Engine. Pensioners get in half price.
April
Skipton Topiary Festival
Come envision the myriad delights of the annual Skipton Topiary Festival.
May
Belgian Day
Where everyone dresses up and behaves like Belgians, for a day.
Tongue-piercing Spectacular
Solstice Eggwhisk Day
Everyone dresses stupidly and acts the giddy goat, for a day. Featuring the celebrated Skipton Contemporary Dance Display and the fabulous March of the Cashiers.
June
Long Distance Snooker Championships
A gala performance by the severely disabled for the severely disabled
July
Pig Wrestling Battle Royale
Open Air Kettle Festival (TBC - see how it pans out)
Hot Caramelised Parsnip Retrieval
August
Skipton Egg Museum Open Day
Free entry for youngsters. Talk by Professor Heinz Woolf.
Leper Demonstration
It all fell apart last year.
September
Corn on the Cob Historical Recreation
Columbine Helvetica Expo
October
Gerbil Insurrection!
Conkers Marathon
Hubcab Rolling
November
Vicars' Sprint
Annual Puffin Hunt
December
Marginalia
Angry Denouncing of The Stigmas