[b]“Lately, a lot of events have occurred, especially for Ken Kaze. From finding out who his opponent in the Primetime Central Global championship tournament -- his opponent being Montrose from the Dream Wrestling Federation -- to graduating from the Primetime Wrestling Academy to the New True Internet Championship Wrestling federation. He has already made his debut promo for the NTICW and the PTC Global title tournament so far. While waiting for someone in the NTICW to respond to him, Montrose has decided to speak up. But, since Kaze was scheduled to appear on the infamous, game-show, Jeopardy, he might not have heard the comments coming from Montrose.”[/b]
[color=black]The narrator says, opening up the promo.
The scene opens up in front three podiums, each with a person standing behind them, but not high enough to reveal the three faces of each person.. In the background is a huge wall -- not all of it being captured in the camera shot -- in the shape of little, six inches by six inches squares to ornate it. The podiums have a blue screen centered on the front of the podium. From left to right, their are names on the blue screens. On the far left, in white, nice, neat, fancy, cursive handwriting; the person’s name on the blue screen reads, “Rich Cannon.” In the middle, in a white, fancy, kind-of sloppy handwriting; the person’s name on the blue screen reads, “Connery, Sean . . 0069.” And, on the end, in white, scribble-scrabble, you can barely make out the name which reads, “Montrose.”
Right above the names is a rectangle box with digital numbers inside of it. Above Rich Cannon’s name, it reads, “$5000.” Above “0069” Sean Connery’s name, it reads, “$-400.” Above Montrose’s name, it reads, “$-3400.”
The camera then pans up just a tad bit, far enough to reveal the faces of the three contestants. A familiar tune begins to play; a rather catchy tune at that. The man standing behind the podium on the far left, with the name as Rich Cannon is none other than . . Rich Cannon!! The man in the middle, with the name “Connery, Sean . . 0069” is none other than Sean Connery! And, at the far right, the man with Montrose as his name is . . Ken Kaze?!
[b][color=gray] “Well it seems that Ken Kaze has, apparently, dressed up as his first round opponent in the PTC Global championship tournament, Montrose.”[/b]
[color=black]The narrator confirms.
Rich Cannon is wearing a pair of blue and white New Balance shoes; gray jogging shorts that are at least two centimeters above his knee; and a white, plain tank top. “0069” Sean Connery is wearing an all black tuxedo, with a white undershirt and black tie and black, dressy, church-type shoes. Ken Kaze, who is portraying to be Montrose, is wearing a [b]huge[/b], plain, white t-shirt with food stains and holes in the front, obviously with pillows tucked underneath it to make him look bulk; [b]huge[/b], all black, jean pants that make him look fat in the legs as well; and some no-named sneakers.
The familiar and catchy tune is now quite obvious; it is the Jeopardy theme music. The camera shot then switches from the three contestants to Alex Trebek. Alex Trebek is wearing an all gray tuxedo, with a white undershirt and gray tie and nicely-polished, dressy, church-type shoes. The Jeopardy theme music finally stops.
[color=green][b] “Welcome back to Celebrity Jeop--”[/b]
[color=black]Trebek gets cut off mid-sentence by none other than Sean Connery.
[color=red][b] “The name is . . Connery. Sean Connery. I am agent double-O, 69.”[/b]
[color=black]Trebek looks at Connery and scolds him.
[color=green][b] “I have no clue as to how Mr. Connery has, once again, rejoined us.”
[color=red] “It is my Q-Branch Watch, Trebek! It makes me invisible when I hit [i]this[/i] button!”[/b]
[color=black]Trebek looks down at a piece of rope tied around his arm and presses on it, as if he were pressing a button. All of a sudden, Kaze [i](who shall now be known as Montrose throughout the rest of the promo)[/i], who is portraying to be Montrose, pushes his buzzer.
[color=blue][b] “Fish!!”[/b]
[color=black]Trebek looks at Montrose as if he were a complete idiot; which he is by the way.
[color=green][b] “Mr. Montrose . . what in God’s green earth are you talking about? I never even asked a question.”
[color=blue] “Oh, sorry. I was just thinking of what’s for dinner, and I thought that was the answer to your question; so I pushed this little button-thingy and said ‘fish!!’”
[color=green] “BUT I DID NOT ASK A QUESTION!!”[/b]
[color=black]Trebek yells at Montrose. Rich Cannon, who is just standing there, happy about his five thousand dollars, watches the three idiots continue to conversate.
[b][color=green] “As for Mr. Connery . . that is not a Q Branch Watch. It is some old, dirty rope which you probably stole because you have not made a good movie in nearly a decade.”
[color=red] “I be not accused of such thievery!!”[/b]
[color=black]Connery yells at Trebek. Trebek sighs.
[b][color=green] “Moving on. Rich Cannon completely decimated in the first round of Jeopardy with a total of five thousand dollars. Congratulations, Rich Cannon.”
[color=orange] “Thank you, Trebek. But please, save me some breath and just give me the rest of your money for these idiots will never get a d*mn question right!”[/b]
[color=black]Cannon says, angrily and frustrated about his opposition. Montrose, once again, rings in his buzzer, before Trebek has even asked a question.
[b][color=blue] “Meatloaf!!”
[color=green] “Mr. Montrose, please; I have still yet to ask a question. Control your appetites until you get home.”
[color=blue] “Oh, sorry again.”[/b]
[color=black]Montrose responds, still thinking about what to eat tonight.
[color=green][b] “God, please just strike me dead. Moving along now. We are now at Double Jeopardy!! And, our categories are:
Animal Sounds, Cars, Toys, Food, Psychotherapist, and Your Name.
Montrose, since you have the least amount of money, you pick the category; as if we didn’t know which one you will pick already.”
[color=blue] “Umm, lets see here. Animal sounds go ‘toot-toot,’ and I know that. Umm, toys? No. FOOD!!”[/b]
[color=black]Trebek sighs.
[color=green][b] “Of course. But, for how much? Remember, we are in the Double Jeopardy round.”[/b]
[color=black]Trebek sighs again, as Montrose looks up at the huge board where it displays the different categories and the amount of money.
[color=blue][b] “Err . . umm . . lets see here. I guess . . for . . . six hundred!”
[color=green] “Okay then. Please identify this food.”[/b]
[color=black]Trebek turns around and looks at the board. A picture covers the default board with a picture of a luscious pizza. The picture then zooms out and the regular default board is displayed once more. Trebek turns back to the three contestants, awaiting a response. Cannon just looks around, giving his opposition a chance to buzz in. Connery just strokes his chin, thinking of what it could be. Montrose’s stomach growls and then he pushes his buzzer.
[b][color=green] “Yes, Montrose.”
[color=blue] “IT’S A CHEESEBURGER!!!”
[color=green] “No! You dolt! That was a freaking pizza! And you MUST answer it in question form!”[/b]
[color=black]Trebek says, getting even more frustrated than before. Montrose’s original negative three thousand, four hundred changes to a negative four thousand. Cannon laughs at the idiotic response from Montrose. Then, all of a sudden, Connery buzzes in, a little late.
[b][color=red] “I know what it is, trust me. I know this one. That was a poodle! Am I right?!”
[color=green] “Shut up. Moving along here. Since Cannon decided not to try for that one, and wanted you two to make big a*ses out of each other, Cannon can pick the next category.”[/b]
[color=black]Trebek says, with a sigh of relief this time.
[color=orange][b] “Okay, I pick animal sounds for a thousand.”[/b]
[color=black]Cannon says, confidently.
[color=green][b] “The [i]blank[/i] makes this sound . .”[/b]
[color=black]Over their small, stereo system, they play a sound of a cow. Montrose is talking to his belly as Connery is just fiddling around with his watch, which believes is a “Q Branch Watch.”
[color=orange][b] “Okay, since these dolts are too dumb to even guess, I guess I’ll answer. What is a cow?”
[color=green] “Correct for a thousand!!”[/b]
[color=black]Cannon’s original five thousand dollars changes to six thousand dollars.
[b][color=green] “Cannon, you may pick the next category.”
[color=orange] “Is it really necessary? I mean, it’s not like I’m not going to win anyways. Let Connery pick it.”
[color=green] “Fine. Mr. Connery, choose a category.”[/b]
[color=black]Connery looks up at the board, scanning the different categories, and finally something catches his eye.
[b][color=red] “I will take Psycho The Rapist for eight hundred.”
[color=green] “That is not Psycho The Rapist. That word is psychotherapist. Somebody you need to see, immediately.”
[color=red] “What are you blind Trebek?! It says PSY-CHO THE RAP-IST!! Clear as day!”
[color=green] “I got a better idea . .”[/b]
[color=black]Trebek looks back at the board, then turns back to the three contestants.
[b][color=green] “How about we try ‘Your Name’ for a thousand. Okay, lets see . . how about we forget the stupid rules! Anyone who knows the answer to this [i]question[/i], just ring the buzzer and answer it. What is your name for a thousand?”[/b]
[color=black]Trebek says, wanting to get the game over with as soon as possible. On the other hand, Cannon is seen laying his head down on his podium sleeping peacefully through all of the chaos. Montrose continues to talk to his stomach as Connery strokes his chin. Finally, Montrose pushes he buzzer, but accidentally; his elbow pushed the button down.
[b][color=green] “FINALLY! So, Mr. Montrose; what is your name?”
[color=blue] “Huh?! Oh. Uhh . . my name? Man, that’s a hard one. I think, Fat Albert? No. Jelly Roll? Nope, not that either. How about Super-Sized, Over-Weight, Obese, Fat-Man?”
[color=green] “You . . are such . . an idiot.”[/b]
[color=black]All of a sudden, Connery buzzes in.
[b][color=red] “Tre--”[/b]
[color=black]Trebek cuts him off.
[color=green][b] “SHUT! UP!”[/b]
[color=black]Connery looks at the angered Trebek, and then Cannon wakes up with from the yelling of Trebek. Cannon monitors everything that is going on only half-awake, half-asleep.
[b][color=green] “I have a great idea. Lets skip to Final Jeopardy!”[/b]
[color=black]The default board then turns into an all blue board, with two rectangles saying “Final Jeopardy.” The one on the bottom zooms into a question.
[b][color=green] “And it reads, ‘How old are you?’ Remember, this is for all of the marbles; so surely, you must get this right!”[/b]
[color=black]The lights dim a little, but not completely. The Jeopardy theme music begins to play as each of the three contestants try and answer the question. Trebek walks, slowly, in front of the three.
[b][color=green] “Surely you can not get this wrong. You would have to be a complete moron just to miss this. So, I am pretty sure all of you will be walking out with a fair share of cash; hopefully, for this matter.”[/b]
[color=black]Trebek stops in front of Montrose, turns around, and walks in front of the three once more. He stops in front of Cannon as the Jeopardy theme music stops playing and the lights come back on, completely.
[color=green][b] “Okay, lets check out what Rich Cannon has put.”[/b]
[color=black]On the podium where it reads Rich Cannon, it turns into his answer. His answer is twenty-two.
[b][color=green] “Very good, Mr. Cannon. And how much did you wager?”[/b]
[color=black]Underneath where it has “22,” six thousand dollars pops up.
[color=green][b] “Very good. You now have twelve thousand dollars.”[/b]
[color=black]Cannon’s six thousand dollars turns to twelve thousand dollars as Trebek approaches Connery.
[b][color=green] “Lets see what Mr. Connery has.”[/b]
[color=black]Where it reads Connery, Sean . . 0069, the name Montrose pops up.
[b][color=green] “And you said Montrose. Well, that is the incorrect answer, so lets see how much you wagered.”[/b]
[color=black]Underneath where it has Montrose, ‘. . and I R LuVers’ pops up.
[b][color=green] “And you wagered ‘. . and I R LuVers.’ So, you are saying you and Montrose are lovers? That is just VERY disturbing. Moving along now.”[/b]
[color=black]Trebek then approaches Montrose, who is still continuing to talk to his stomach.
[b][color=green] “Lets see what your answer was.”[/b]
[color=black]Where it has Montrose, the words ‘I need . .’ pop up.
[b][color=green] “And you said ‘I need . .’ Well, you are, also, incorrect. Lets see how much you wagered.”[/b]
[color=black]Underneath where it has Montrose, ‘. . FOOD!!’ pops up. Trebek frowns.
[b][color=green] “Like we didn’t see that one coming.”[/b]
[color=black]Trebek approaches back toward the board and stands in front of. The camera shot fixates right in front of Trebek as he goes on to close out this evening’s Jeopardy.
[b][color=green] “Well, Rich Cannon has won tonight; like that wasn’t quite obvious from the start. I hope you all who are watching will burn in the deep, firery pits of h*ll for laughing at what I just went through. Join us next time on Jeopardy, when you have a new host, because I am going to go jump off a bridge. Good night!”[/b]
[color=black]Trebek closes out. But, before Trebek can walk backstage, Cannon leaps over the podium and charges toward Trebek. He stops right in front of Trebek, grasps him by the shoulder, yanks him around, and kicks him in the stomach. At the same time, Connery is shooting thin air -- which he believes are people -- with his index finger -- which he believes is a gun and Montrose is STILL, continuously talking to his stomach. Cannon picks Trebek up into a power bomb position and begins to run with him. He then slams Trebek through the board which makes glass fly everywhere and leaves a gigantic hole in it.
[color=gray][b] “Well it seems Methodical Disorder has made a mockery out of Alex Trebek and his show, Jeopardy, as well as Montrose. I am pretty sure many people got a kick out of this stunt from Methodical Disorder. But, how bad will it affect their PTC Global championship tournament opponents?”[/b]
[color=black]The narrator leaves open-ended. The camera shot then fixates on the unconscious Trebek who is laying down on the cement behind the board with Cannon standing above him. The camera shot then fades to black.
