The scene opens back up to PCW’s Resident Moron, Ken Kaze standing in front of a white, wooden barn -- which he calls the Dungeon --, staring wide-eyed at George~! who is lying on top of the front of a riding lawnmower. Hanging above George~! is a sledge hammer tied to a very thin string which could break at any given time.
Now it is time to see just who this “Fred`!” Kaze talks about is! Standing in front of the riding lawnmower -- which is toward the back of the barn, support by the barn is an ordinary broom with the word “FRED`!” written in a black marker going across the straw with a face sticking its tongue out.
Ken Kaze: “FRED`! I shoulda known!”
Fred`!: “................”
Ken Kaze: “What do you mean I knew?”
Fred`!: “................”
Ken Kaze: “Oooooh yeah. It was on that piece of paper.”
Fred`!: “................”
Ken Kaze: “Don’t call me a moron!!”
Fred`!: “................”
Ken Kaze: “ARRRRGH! Don’t make me crush you just like I shall do to those numb skulls in the Devil’s Playground match and the devil’s son on Fusion!!!”
Fred`!: “................”
Ken Kaze: “I can to hurt you!!”
Kaze then takes a step forward, snarling at the inanimate object which he thinks is actually having a conversation with him. He then supports his body by placing his hands onto the back of the cushioned seat of the riding lawnmower.
Ken Kaze: “Just let..... George~!..... go.”
Fred`!: “................”
Ken Kaze: “Why not?! He never did a thing to you!!”
Fred`!: “................”
Ken Kaze: “Liar! You are just ugly! So that’s why those hos left you!”
The sledge hammer then lowers just a tad bit due to the string giving away. Though, Kaze thinks that Fred`! is lowering it.
Ken Kaze: “I’m sorry! Just stop lowering the sledge hammer! You are the most handsomest person I’ve ever seen....”
Kaze then begins to mumble.
Ken Kaze: “....Besides George and I.”
The sledge hammer lowers once more.
Ken Kaze: “Okay, okay! I’m sorry! But please! Don’t hurt my friend! George~! is everything to me! He is the bestest of the bestest friends in the whole wide world! You can’t just kill him because he was more of a pimp than you.”
The sledge hammer lowers once more. Kaze then pushes himself up from the lawnmower and begins to step closer toward both George~! and Fred`!
Ken Kaze: “I’m sorry again! But pleeeease! Let George~! go! He’s helped me all throughout my wrestling career! He helped me win my very first championship! It was in the NTICW. I was in my first ever title match. It was a Trick or Treat match. I had met George~! earlier that day; he was paying up a couple of hos. And we began to talk, and we became friends. So I brought him to the match with me. And together, we kicked boo-tay! And I won the Extreme Championship! But then NTICW had to close. It just HAD to close. ‘Cause of that jackass Blane Bishop! But now, I have another chance to rule the extreme division! I have a chance to become....”
Kaze hops up onto the riding lawnmower. He stands up on the seat, but bumps his head on the roof due to it being such a small barn.
Ken Kaze: “....Ouch....”
Kaze begins to rub his head and continues on with his “speech.”
Ken Kaze: “...Now where was I? Oh yeah.... I have a chance to become the PCW Extreme Champion against a lot of other people! From the likes of..... three wise bimbos... Big Bubba McToy.... a police guy.... um... some other guy... some other guy.... and some other guy!! Together, me and George~! can salvage the extreme division, and CRUSH the competition!
And also.... on Fusion.... I have to face the devil’s son! Trust me, I know him pretty well. He used to be in NTICW, too! He was the NTICW United States Champion for a while...... then he lost..... and then he got it back! This man even has one of Santa’s.... I mean... the DEVIL’S elves walking around with him! He calls him Midget the Limp Pimp.... or something like that.”
George~!: “.............”
Ken Kaze: “Yeah! Michael the Elf! That’s it.”
Fred`!: “................”
Ken Kaze: “HEY! DON’T TELL MY BESTEST FRIEND IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD TO SHUT UP!!!!!”
The sledge hammer lowers once more as Kaze jumps down from the riding lawnmower.
Ken Kaze: “Okay.... okay. What is it you want, Fred`!? I can give it to you!”
Fred`!: “................”
Ken Kaze: “A box of cookies?! Man.... George~! ate the last one last night!!”
The sledge hammer lowers once more. Beads of sweat begin to roll down Kaze’s face as he gradually encloses on George~!
Ken Kaze: “Um....”
As Kaze is only two steps away from George~!, Kaze imagines that Fred`! flinches and quickly grabs George~! Luckily, Kaze is able to retrieve George~! before the sledge hammer crashes down onto the top of the front of the riding lawnmower. The plastic guard shatters into pieces as Kaze dives out of the barn, covering George~! as if it were a bomb, whilst yelling.....
Ken Kaze: “TAAAAAKE... COVEEEEEEERRRR!!!”
Kaze, not wanting to land on his pal, extends George~! out as he crashes into some mud. However, George~! lands on fresh, green grass. Kaze lets go of George~! as he slips and slides in the mud, struggling to get up to his feet. He finally does and tries to step on the grass, but instead slips in the mud once more and lands in the splits-position.
Ken Kaze: “OOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!”
Kaze rolls over in the mud and eventually into the grass. He stands up, holding onto his crotch. He looks over at George~! while beginning to speak.
Ken Kaze: “Come on George~! Let’s go inside. We have some competition to destroy, the devil’s son to annihilate, and the devil’s elf to kick the crap out of on Turmoil AND Fusion!!!”
The scene fades to black as Kaze grabs George~! and heads back up to his house, covered in mud.
