[u]Introduction:[/u] [i]The last time New True Internet Championship Wrestling Extreme Champion and Resident Moron, Ken Kaze, was spotted was inside of a local Wal-Mart. He was gathering different weapons of all sorts to utilize in his up-and-coming extreme matches against the likes of “Malicious” Mark Estep and “Blue Grass” Ken Tucky. Whilst gathering different items and explaining how he could use them, he came across the toys section. There he met a motion-detecting, Power Ranger, action figure which would talkback after sensing any type of motion. At one point, Ken actually believed the Power Ranger was going to shoot him and then decided to catch him off guard and annihilate him. Indeed he did. Even though he may think he has achieved something good, he achieved nothing at all.
Hopefully the results will not be the same in the end on Tuesday Mayhem for Ken. Otherwise, he may never be the same again after losing his Extreme Championship.[/i]
The scene opens up to fake, green grass that has fake, different color flowers sticking up from the ground. In the background is a fake, blue sky that is only a wall painted sky-blue with clouds on it. A sun with a little baby’s face on it rises up in the corner of the wall. Little giggles are heard from the baby.
“It is another, beautiful day for the tellitubbies. The sun is out bright. The clouds are in the sky. It is indeed a great day for the Tellitubbies to come out and play,” a voice over says as the four tellitubbies come out. “Tellitubbies! There you are! It’s time to play!” the voice over says happily.
“Lala,” the purple tellitubbie, Tinkie Winkie, says, “wet’s go over there!” Tinkie Winkie points over to a hill.
“O-tay!” Lala agrees.
Tinkie Winkie and Lala both run over to the hill and disappear behind all of the other hills. Meanwhile, Po and Dixie come walking out, hand-to-hand.
An expression of amazement overwhelms the red tellitubbie, Po. “Where did day go, Dixie?”
“I don’t know, Po,” the green tellitubbie, Dixie, replies.
“Behind the hills, Dixie and Po,” the voice over answers Po’s question.
“Ooooooh,” Po says as she runs over to the hills with Dixie following behind her.
As they both come to the top of a hill, Po and Dixie both put their hands up above their eyes for visors to look around for Tinkie Winkie and Lala.
“Do ou see them Po?” Dixie asks.
“No, Dixie,” Po replies.
Dixie begins to jump up and down in excitement. “Over there! Over there!” she screams whilst pointing at Tinkie Winkie and Lala running deeper into the hills.
All of a sudden, a little tornado-type funnel zips down right in front of them. Po and Dixie both jump back frightened. The tornado-type funnel then disappears just as fast as it hit the ground and all that is left is........... Ken Kaze and George~!?
“WHAT THE?!” Ken screams out frightened.
“Po, what’s dat?” Dixie asks.
“I don’t know, Dixie. Maybe another creature from another planet?” Po asks, unassumingly.
The tellitubbies tower over Ken like giants. Compared to him, they are at least nine-feet in height. Ken is clad in dark blue, jean shorts, a white wife beater, and New Balance sneakers.
“Oh........ my....... God,” Ken says in disbelief. “It is those freaking ‘big-hug’ jackasses on TV all the time! Wait a minute... why am I here?!” Ken questions himself, although not in a loud enough tone of voice to where the tellitubbies can hear him. “Heeeeey,” Ken says a smile broadens across his face, “maybe I can get some training in on these big goofballs.”
“Po!” Dixie shouts out enthusiastically.
“What Dixie?!” Po asks impatiently.
“How about we give it a big-ug?!” Dixie says eagerly.
“O-tay!” Po agrees.
The two tellitubbies begin to approach Ken with their arms spread open. Ken looks at them like they are ready to gang rape him or something and back steps hastily, more frightened than ever before.
“What the hell are these things trying to do?!” Ken questions himself. “Wait a minute! I can pretend this is that game at the arcade, Whack-A-Mole! Except, it can be, Whack-A-Freaking-Tellitubbie!!” he says calmly.
Ken then stops in his tracks and awaits for the tellitubbies to enclose on him. As they are in arm’s reach, Ken nails both of them with George~!
“HA HA YOU SONS OF (*BEEP*)ES!!” he yells out. “That is what you get for trying to mess with me,” he finishes off as both tellitubbies collapse to the ground on top of one another.
“Oh, no!” the voice over says, “someone is hurting the tellitubbies!”
The little baby in the sun begins to cry as Ken looks around, wondering where the heck all of these noises are coming from.
“What the heck?! Who said that?! Who’s crying?!” he continuously yells out scared.
“You have been a very naughty boy. Now the sun is going down and it is a sad day in tellitubbie-ville,” the voice over answers.
“Ah shut the heck up you freak! If I ever saw you, I’d bust you up with George~! Just like I did to these two goons right here! Heh, just like those two goons, Mark Estep and Ken Tucky - my opponents for Tuesday Mayhem and Saturday Showtime. I’m not worried about either one of them. I will do the same to them as I did to Whack-A-Freaking-Tellitubbie. They will drop like flies - or in this case, tellitubbies! HA, HA, HA!” he says whilst laughing to himself.
All of a sudden, Tinkie Winkie and Lala both appear in front of the laughing Ken with tears in their eyes.
“You hurt Po,” Tinkie Winkie says sadly.
“And Dixie,” Lala adds on, while also saying it sadly.
“Ho? Dicksie? Man, you guys sure are freaks!” Ken yells out them. “Time to play Whack-A-Freaking-Tellitub- he- hey! You’re the gay one! AHHHHH!”
Ken swings George~! violently and nails Tinkie Winkie’s head off, sending it sailing through the air across the hills as his body just falls back motionless. “BWA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA” he laughs evilly. “Do you want to be next?” he questions Lala, who begins to run quickly. “NOT SO FAST!” he yells as Lala turns around. “Ha! Fooled ya!” he says, while swinging George~! and connecting across Lala’s head, thus causing her to collapse to the ground unconscious.
“A verrrrry sad day in tellitubbie-ville indeed,” the voice over concludes all of the chaos.
“AH SHUT THE (*BEEP*) UP ALREADY!! I was just trying to set an example of what I’m going to do to Mark Estep tomorrow night, and that Kentucky inbred on Saturday, Ken Tucky! And even my opponent at Redemption! You know, they started all of this! If they hadn’t approached my like that, I would have NEVER, EVER had to attack them! So blame it on those assclowns!” Ken verbally thrashes out at the voice over.
Just as another tornado-type funnel reappears.......
...... Ken wakes up! Beads of sweat are seen rolling down his face as he exhales and inhales heavily.
“Man,” he says, “I really, really, REALLY need to see a doctor about these dreams. This is the THIRD one I’ve had like that.”
Ken wipes his hand across his forehead and falls back down onto his pillow as the scene fades to black.
