[u]Introduction:[/u] [i]Lately, New True Internet Championship Wrestling Extreme Champion and Resident Moron, Ken Kaze, has showed his “mean streak”, so to speak. After shocking the world by attacking the infamous, figure skater, Michelle Kwan, surely his opponents and fellow NTICW roster are thinking [/i]twice[i] about stepping into the ring with Ken. But, that wasn’t enough, obviously. The next day, Ken decided to go to a local mall and buy some clothes for his faithful and beloved companion, George~! Things, as always, turned into trouble. Before Ken could leave the store, he laid out one of the employees of the store that was in the local mall and two, security guards. If ANYONE could have gotten past those two, bulk, security guards, it was Ken. But who else could? No one - or at least no one hasn’t, yet, besides Ken. But things were ONLY just getting started. Ken decided to visit the very same mall the next day, except to a different store inside of the mall. This time, he viciously attacked an elder lady causing every single person in the mall to evacuate terrified. But, that was not all. His last stint was when he took George~! to eat his first ever Big Mac from McDonalds. Just as George~! and Ken were settled, something very unpredictable happened, Oscar “The Cookie Monster”, from Sesame Street, popped out of George~! to exchange a couple of harsh words with Ken. Ken decided to take matters into his own hands and bashed Oscar’s head in with George~!’s hat. He then proceeded to throw him across the restaurant on top of a garbage can, and then slammed him into a wall with George~! Although Ken did leave a beaten on Oscar thus far, he was not done yet. He walked up to Oscar to “finish him off” - he kicked him right straight in the gonads.
After showing what he is capable of, Ken is definitely ready for everything that will be thrown at him come Mayhem, Showtime, and Redemption. But, the question is: will Ken’s [/i]opponents[i] be ready for whatever Ken shall bring [/i]their[i] way?[/i]
The scene shows Ken Kaze racing through an aisle full of people, pushing an empty cart with only George~! inside. As he speeds through the aisle, the people in his way scurry to the side trying their best to avoid any accident that may occur with Ken’s insubordinate behavior. As Ken approaches the “Gardening Tools” section, he discontinues from running and abruptly stops.
Ken is clad in dark gray, jogging pants with a dark gray, short-sleeved sweatshirt to match it, and New Balance sneakers. Around his neck is his most-often worn diamond, crystal, chain-linked necklace.
“So George~!,” Ken continues, “let’s look for some weapons to utilize for my up-and-coming extreme matches,” he says excitedly.
Ken begins to push the cart slowly, only moving inches at a time. He passes by a rake and stops at a little, hand-held shovel.
“Oooooooh, George~! Look at these!” he says eagerly while grasping onto the little hand-held shovel. “I can use this for..... um, I know. I can.... nah. Never mind! I’ll just get it anyways and hopefully find someway to use it!” he yells to his self while throwing in the little, hand-held shovel that has a tag sticking out from it reading, “Wal-Mart” on it into the cart. It is now obvious that Ken is indeed inside of Wal-Mart.
Ken continues to inch his way up the aisle as he encloses on various amounts of different gardening tools. He comes up to a claw-like tool that has a three-foot pole to grasp onto. “This looks like it could do some damage,” he convinces himself. “Maybe I could disfigure Mark Estep’s face with it,” he says as he places it into the cart next to George~!
Ken then suddenly stops on the subject of Mark’s name. “Speaking of Mark, his partner Epic got me in trouble with the boss! Blane Bishop! But what I want to know is: why?! Is it because I kicked Epic’s ass so many times in the past; like four.... five times already?! And he even blamed it on YOU George~! YOU! Ohhh, man! Mark will definitely pay for what trouble his tag partner has gotten us into to! And you count on that!” he says self-assuredly. He looks down into the cart with a speculating-type expression on his face and asks, “it isn’t getting [i]too[/i] crowded in there already, is it George~!?” An expression of relief overcomes his face. “Oh, didn’t think so,” he replies to George~! as if George~! actually said something.
Ken continues to inch his way up the aisle and stops when he comes across some water hoses. He reads the labels out to himself. “Twenty-five feet long. Last long and durable. Thirty-feet long. Last long and durable. Thirty-FIVE feet long. Last long and durable. Blah, blah, blah. The same crap over and over. I guess I’ll take the thirty-five foot long one. Maybe Ken Tucky’s brother, Billy Bob, can ream [b]THIS[/b] instead of you George~! And heck, maybe for anybody! I am a kind-hearted person, you know,” he says as a fake smile broadens across his face. “Man, speaking of Ken Tucky, I have to face that imbecile on Saturday! The very man who stole my first name! His punishment will be severe! No one steals Ken Kaze’s first name and gets away with it, no one! And with the possibility of facing him at Redemption again, I guess I’ll just have to punish him even [b]MORE[/b]!! But then, later on that night, when we must enter the [i]Redemption match[/i], we most-likely won’t collaborate too well. I mean, we will probably be at each other’s THROATS instead of focusing on that tag team gold! But I’ll make sure [i]I[/i] won’t get eliminated, because I’m winning those Tag Team belts and giving Rich the other half!”
“Then, there is also the possibility of facing his anal-probing brother,” he says while shuddering due to a tingling chill going up his spine. “This man has almost reamed Epic, who probably creamed his pants at the sheer fact of Billy Bob unbuckling his pants, and reams pigs for a living - AND HE ALSO REAMED MY BESTEST FRIEND IN THE ENTIRE GALAXY, GEORGE~! If Billy Bob shall be my opponent at Redemption, I am going to rip him a new asshole for his [b]BROTHER[/b] to have an easier route inside of Mount Billy Bob, that way he doesn’t have to take the detour,” he says with a cynical smile. “I shall get revenge for you George~!, do not worry!” he assures George~!
“But lets move on to my opponent for tomorrow night, Mark Estep. The Malicious Man. The Estepper. Or something like that. His name really doesn’t matter right now, considering the fact that I will reign supreme over this no-named talent. Heck, I shouldn’t even call him a talent! He’s a jobber for cripes sakes! Mark, don’t let my clumsiness fool you. Trust me, when I step into that squared-circle, I tend to lose all my clumsiness and tend to focus on my opponent even better than I could before. I don’t know why that is, maybe it’s Rich’s Hi-C he makes every morning that I drink, but it sure makes me a heck of a lot smarter! Mark, after I shall defend my Extreme Championship successful against the second member of Epic Proportions, you will realize why me and George~! are unstoppable!” he says very confidently.
Ken then walks out of the while and turns right. He then turns another right once more and enters another aisle way. He then looks up at the sign hanging from the ceiling which reads, “Toys for All Ages”. As he passes by a few Pokémon and Digimon toys, he stops when he passes by a motion-detecting, Power Ranger, action figure.
“Halt! Stop where you are! Evil lurks within you! I can tell by my Power Ranger senses!!” screams the motion-detecting, Power Ranger, action figure.
Ken turns to his right hastily to see what it was that yelled out the comment just made. “Are YOU talking to me?” he asks, but gets no response. “Are you TALKING to me?!” he asks once more, but still gets no response. “Are you talking TO me?!!” he asks a little bit more eagerly, but still doesn’t receive a response. “Hey,” he continues, “that was a pretty good first-impression of Ed Novak’s catchphrase! Man, I’m going to become an [b]AWESOME[/b] and famous, extreme wrestler sooner or later!” he persuades his self.
“I shall fire my laser beam................... NOW!!!!” the motion-detecting, Power Ranger, action figure screams as little laser beam noises are sounded off, echoing through the aisle.
“AHHHHH! DUCK GEORGE~! DUCK! HE’S SHOOTING!!” Ken screams out in fright as he dives behind the cart.
The laser beams all of a sudden stop and the Power Ranger stays silent.
Ken peeps his head up above the cart, staring at the Power Ranger cautiously. “I will get you, you son of a (*BEEP*),” he whispers to his self as he slowly grabs a hold of George~! He then gets both of his hands onto George~! and hoists George~! in the air. “One........ two.............. three!” he yells to his self as he jumps out from behind the cart with George~! in hand, swinging George~! wildly at the Power Ranger, sending different action figures left and right.
The scene fades to black as Ken continues to obliterate all of the action figures.
