[u]Introduction:[/u] [i]The last time the New True Internet Championship Wrestling Extreme Champion and Resident Moron, Ken Kaze, was seen was at a local mall in downtown Goldsboro, North Carolina. There, we also saw Ken’s tag team partner, Rich Cannon. After visiting it once more to, this time, get George~! a Christmas present, Ken evacuated the whole, entire mall. The reason of this was because of the ignorant people who were throwing trash into George~! Ken was offended by these actions and decided to take matters into his own hands: He beat an old, helpless woman to the ground with George~!, thus making all the other visitors evacuate quickly.
Ken has shown that he does indeed have a mean streak along with his clumsiness, but can he continue this mean streak for when he must face Mark Estep on Tuesday Mayhem, Ken Tucky on Saturday Showtime, whoever shall win the battle royal to be the number one contender for the Extreme Championship on Redemption, and every participant in the Redemption match at Redemption? These answers will be answered soon enough.[/i]
“George~!,” the familiar voice of Ken Kaze voices over, “we’re here!! Man, I don’t think you should even be eating. You’re heavier than usual!!”
Fade in.
The scene shows none other than Ken Kaze and George~! standing in front of a McDonalds restaurant. Ken is clad in a white wife beater, dark blue, jean pants, and New Balance sneakers. He has his NTICW Extreme Championship buttoned around his waist backwards.
“What was that George~!?” Ken asks George~! not hearing what he had said, even though he never really said anything at all. “You want a big-mac? Sure, I can get you one of those,” he replies happily.
Ken enters through a door dragging George~! behind him. As he enters through the first door, he turns to his right and enters through another door. As he enters into the actual restaurant-part of McDonalds, all of the customers sitting down and standing in line, as well as the employees behind the counters, stare at him as if he were crazy.
A confused expression overcomes Ken’s face as he monitors everybody. “Why the hell is everyone looking at me like that?” he asks, wondering why everyone is staring at him. “Jesus, can’t no one just walk into a freaking restaurant these days,” he mumbles under his breath as he approaches a small, one-person line.
As he walks to stand up behind the woman that is ordering her food, he sets George~! down beside him.
“What do you think I should get?” he questions George~! “A big-mac, too? Hmmmm, sounds good to me,” he agrees.
The woman standing in front of him walks away. Ken approaches the woman behind the cash-register whilst looking up at the menu hanging from the wall.
“Good afternoon sir,” the woman greets him.
“Good afternoon yourself ma’am,” Ken greets her back.
“What’ll be today sir?” the woman asks politely.
“Ummmm me and George~! here,” he says while pointing at George~!, “will have two big-macs, each. And two Dr. Peppers as well,” he answers the woman.
“Uhhh sir. Are you serious? Giving a trashcan two big-macs?” the woman inquires doubtfully.
“Yes ma’am. What’s wrong with that?” Ken responds a little furious at the moment.
“Well, uh, you can’t feed a trashcan. And I don’t think you should have brought that thing in here,” the woman replies.
“Why must you discriminate against George~!? Just because he looks a little bit different doesn’t mean you have to treat him differently!” Ken says furiously, while slamming his hands down onto the counter.
“Uh, ooookay. Whatever sir. That’ll be five seventy-five,” the woman says, changing the subject.
Ken reaches into his pocket and pulls out a five and one dollar bill. He hands it to her graciously. “Keep the change,” he tells the woman.
“Okay, thank you,” the woman responds.
Ken steps to the side to allow a teenager to order his food. He looks down at George~! whilst speaking. “So, this is going to be your very first big-mac!” he tells George~! enthusiastically. “Are you excited?! No? How come?” he asks. “Oh. Well, I guess I can understand.”
“Here is your good sir,” a woman says while approaching Ken from behind the counter, sliding a tray with two big-macs and two Dr. Peppers lying on it.
Ken grabs the tray with one hand and George~! with the other and walks over to an empty booth. He sets the tray atop the table and George~! on one side of the table. He sits down on the opposite side of George~! while grabbing his big-mac and Dr. Pepper from the table. “What’s the matter?” he asks, wondering why George~! hasn’t reached for his food. “Aren’t you hungry? Well, here. Let me help you out,” he tells George~! whilst grabbing the big-mac and taking off the top on George~!, which is [i]supposedly[/i] George~!’s hat. Just as Ken takes George~!’s hat off, Oscar “The Cookie Monster” pops out with a cookie in his hand.
“Hey there, Kenny boy!!” Oscar greets Ken. “Want a cookie?!” he asks crudely.
“What the (*BEEP*)?! Who the hell are you?! You green little (*BEEP*)!” Ken asks insolently.
“I’m Oscar, the cookie monster!” he informs Ken. “You know, from Sesame Street you big moron!”
“Hey! I’m no freaking moron! You green slime ball!”
“Oooooh. Nice one there, Kenny boy. I bet your momma taught you that one!” he says, while beginning to laugh.
“STOP CALLING ME KENNY! AND DON’T TALK ABOUT MY MOMMA!! AND GET OUT OF GEORGE~!!!!!”
“Nope,” Oscar replies in between a laugh, “this here trashcan is my new home! So kiss my ass!”
“Why you little....,” Ken says while trailing off.
Ken grabs George~!’s hat and smacks Oscar on the head. He continues to repeatedly nail Oscar with George~!’s hat.
“Hey!” Oscar says whilst getting smacked upside his head, “cut,” [i]wham![/i], “it,” [i]wham![/i], “out!” [i]wham![/i]
Ken hits Oscar one last time before putting down George~!’s hat. He grabs Oscar by his neck, choking him out, and throws him across the restaurant, making him land on top of a garbage can.
“TAKE THAT!” Ken yells out, enraged. “Are you all right George~!? He didn’t try to get his [i]groove[/i] on with you, did he? Oh, okay. Thank God that little cornball didn’t try anything! I would have had to kill him! Yeah! Like I’m going to do to Mark Estep on Tuesday, and Ken Tucky on Saturday!” he tells George~! confidently. “Wait a minute! What do you mean Ken Tucky on Saturday?! WHAT?! I have to face that freak and that anal-probing brother of his as well! A non-title match? Phew! I didn’t want to have to defend my title again!” he says calmly. “Heck, I might have to face him at Redemption for my title! And STILL partner with him for the Redemption match! What do you mean focus on Mark? Mark is a nobody. Don’t worry, I’m not going to waste my time on him. I’ll make short work of him and retain my Extreme Championship! And then I’ll be that hick’s ass, and that fat man’s ass who reamed you! No one messes with George~! and gets away with it! No one! Then I’ll go on to kick whoever my opponent is at Redemption’s butt! Man George~!,” he continues as a smile broadens across his face, “it looks like we are going to be on a huge winning streak!” he concludes eagerly.
Ken takes one huge bite out of his big-mac and throws it down. He grabs George~! and George~!’s hat, and puts it onto George~! Ken walks over to Oscar who is lying unconsciously on top of a garbage can.
“George~! says hi!” Ken says as he swings George~! and nails Oscar, sending Oscar flying across the room into a wall, and then sliding down.
Ken walks over to Oscar and kicks him in the gonads as the scene fades to black.
