[u]Introduction:[/u] [i]The last time the New True Internet Championship Wrestling Extreme Champion and Resident Moron, Ken Kaze, was spotted, was at a local mall, named Berkley Mall, in downtown Goldsboro, North Carolina. Along side of him on this “journey” was none other than his well-know sidekick, George~! and tag team partner, who together they form Methodical Disorder, Rich Cannon.
Ken definitely left a mark in the store that he entered that day, for he left three men laying in a puddle of their own blood. But [/i]why[i] did he do this? To prove a point; to show Mark Estep and the winner of the huge, battle royal on Tuesday Mayhem to become the number one contender for the NTICW Extreme Championship that he will be ready to battle, and he will not go down without a fight? Wrong. Only because each and every one of the three men made him frustrated; or pissed off, whichever you prefer.
Surely Mark and every participant in the battle royal will have second thoughts about Ken after the past events that has transpired recently -- namely viciously attacking well-known, figure skater Michelle Kwan. But if not, then that is a mistake they have made. We all make mistakes, therefore we can’t blame them for their foolishness.[/i]
“Ken, why the hell are we back here again?” the familiar voice of Rich Cannon asks his tag team partner, Ken Kaze, in an angered tone of voice.
Fade in.
The camera shot shows Rich Cannon clad in a white wife beater, khaki shorts, and Reebok sneakers. Standing next to him is Ken Kaze, who is clad in a plain, red. short-sleeved t-shirt, dark blue, Wrangler jeans, and New Balance sneakers. In his right hand is none other than Ken’s faithful companion, George~! Protruding from the bottom and sides are additional nails with even more barbwire wrapped around it. “GEORGE~!” looks to be a bit more bolder in permanent, black ink than before.
The camera shot changes from the two to the top half of a building. In big, blue letters, “SEARS” is spread across the wall.
Back on the ground we see Methodical Disorder approaching two, automatic, sliding doors. But before the sliding doors, there is a caged region full of riding, lawn mowers that they must go through first.
“Well,” Ken pauses. “I wanted to buy George~! a Christmas gift,” he explains, in anxiety. “But shhhh! Don’t tell George~!, please!”
Rich sighs as a blank expression overcomes his face. “I don’t talk to trashcans, like you do,” he explicates.
The two walk through the caged region of law mowers and enter the sliding doors. Standing up-right against a wall in front of them is a soda machine and a candy and chip machine.
“Mmm, mmm, mmmmmmm,” Ken hums to his self. “Does that look tasty or what, George~!?” he tries convincing George~! “You aren’t lying! Those Doritos... ooooooh man! I could [b]definitely[/b] go for a bag of Doritos right now,” he convinces himself.
“Ken, stop dreaming about eating a bag of chips when you got about fifty million bags at your house. And let’s hurry up and buy this “present” for George~! and get the hell out of here!” Rich demands.
The two walk down through a wide, short hallway and end up in the center of a computer-filled zone. Rich notices a man typing something up on a computer that is used to locate different items. He walks up to him and taps him on the shoulder. The man turns around and looks to be in his mid-twenties. He is clad in matching, black pants and shirt with a red vest. On the right side, right above the right breast is a name tag that has the Sears logo on the top part and his name on the bottom part in small letters, which reads, “Tyler”.
Rich squints to read his name, but finally reads it. “Tyler.”
“Yes sir?” Tyler responds enthusiastically hastily.
“Um, my friend here is trying to buy a present for his,” Rich’s tone of voice begins to lower as he continues, “trashcan here.”
Tyler looks at Rich, not believing what he just heard. “A pre- pre- present for his tra- tra- trashcan?!” he asks, to make sure he heard Rich correctly, whilst attempting to hold in a laugh.
Rich sighs. “Unfortunately, yes. You see, my friend isn’t really all there. I think his momma dropped him on his head as a child. Not too sure, but something mighty similar to that,” he explains.
“Ah, I see. Well, what type of present is your friend looking for?”
“A toy, preferably,” Rich replies.
“Okay then. Do you know where Kay-Bee Toys is?”
“Um, actually,” Rich continues, “I don’t. I’m not really from around here; I travel from place to place. As a wrestler, you have to travel to different cities and all. So really, we don’t get much time to explore the different cities, unless we’re on vacation or just taking time off or something.”
Tyler looks at Rich in disbelief. “Wait a minute! You- you- you’re Rich Cannon! From NTICW!” he tells Rich excitedly.
“I..... noticed. Now-”
“I- I- I can’t believe it!” Tyler manages to gasp while going into a stage of shock. “I have never really been able to meet an actual wrestling superstar in my entire life!”
“That’s just great and all, kid. But what I’m looking for is this Kay-Bee Toys you speak of,” Rich attempts to change the subject.
“Can I get an autograph? If not from you, what about Ken? Or maybe even a whole in a piece of paper from one of George~!’s nails?! That would be the [b]greatest[/b] autograph ever!!”
“Um, we’ll have an autograph session set-up somewhere in the mall a little later on today. But right now, we need to urgently go to Kay-Bee Toys. Mind telling me where it is?” Rich asks, trying to change the subject once more.
Fortunately, this time Rich does as Tyler turns around and points down a long corridor.
Whilst pointing, Tyler explains where Kay-Bee toys is, “you walk all the way down this hall. Then, you go down the right and there will be an intersection with a stage in the center. You go to the right of the stage and walk down the hall. Make sure you look to your left, because there, you will find Kay-Bee Toys. It has a big, red, neon sign that reads Kay-Bee Toys. You can’t miss it. But, if you do, it is right in front of the Fast-served Yogurt shop that they have just recently built.”
“Okay. I think I got it now,” Rich informs Tyler. He turns back to Ken, who is bashing a computer, monitor screen in with George~! “KEN! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!?”
Ken suddenly stops and turns around startled. “He was talking bad about George~! I won’t put up for it Rich! He even said your mom was a ho!”
Rich’s eyes look like they are ready to pop out of his head, but Rich manages to maintain his normal posture. “Ken, you moron,” he continues while balling up a fist, “COMPUTERS CAN’T TALK!!!” he shouts at the top of his lungs irate about the comment made about his mom.
“I’m so- so- sorry Rich. I was just trying to defend you and George~!” Ken tries to explain.
“I’m sorry to butt in here, but sir. You must pay for that brand-spanking-new monitor. One of our many policies here is, “You break it, you bought it,” Tyler notifies Ken.
By the expression on Ken’s face, you know immediately he is about to thrash out on Tyler. As his face turns bright red and he hoists George~! into the air, you know for certain that Tyler is about to meet George~! first hand. Luckily for Tyler, Rich talks Ken out of it.
“KEN! DON’T YOU (*BEEP*)ING DARE!”
“Bu- bu- but Rich! He is making me pay for something [i]I[/i] didn’t even break! George~! broke it!”
“Oh come off it already! George~! is only a stupid trashcan! Just like Tyler! Just like the kid who wants the money. Just give the kid twenty bucks and let’s get out of here!” Rich stresses to Ken.
Ken shrugs and sets George~! on the ground gently as he inserts his hands into his pockets. He pulls out a twenty dollar bill and begins to hand it to Tyler, until he rejects the twenty dollars.
“I’m sorry, but that will be more than twenty dollars sir. That would be about five hundred dollars, if even that low,” Tyler says, in a frightened voice.
Ken looks at Tyler as if he were crazy and clutches George~! to his side. “FIVE HUNDRED DOLLARS?! FOR THAT PIECE OF CRAP?!”
Rich sighs while shrugging and walks out of Sears and begins to head toward Kay-Bee Toys.
Tyler back steps away from Ken, aware of what could possibly happen. “Sir, please. It isn’t my rule. It’s just a store policy,” he tries to explain frightened.
“WELL YOU KNOW WHAT, YOUR STORE POLICY CAN KISS MY ASS!” Ken shouts as he bashes Tyler over the head with George~! “George~!, meet Tyler. Tyler, meet George~!”
Ken exits Sears and begins to walk toward Kay-Bee Toys as the scene fades to black.
[i]~* New Scene *~[/i]
“Rich, Rich!” the familiar voice of Ken is heard as he calls out Rich’s name.
The scene reopens up on Methodical Disorder as they stand inside of Kay-Bee Toys this time. Surrounding them is various amount of toys: Computer games, game-system games, boy and girl toys, stuffed animals, and basically all of the normal things you would see inside of a toy store.
Ken is seen standing right in front of bunch of Mighty Morphing Power Rangers. He is pointing to the red one eagerly. “Come and check this out! I think I found the perfect present for George~!” At the mention of the name George~!, we notice that George~! isn’t with Ken this time.
The scene changes and shows a shot of George~! who is outside of Kay-Bee Toys. People are seen throwing trash into him as the pass by him. Ken, not aware of what the people are doing to George~!, continues to try and get Rich’s attention. “Rich, Rich. Come look man! Seriously!”
Rich walks up to Ken slowly. “Power rangers?” he asks scornfully. “Why the hell would you buy a trashcan some little action figures?”
“Rich, if you weren’t such a great friend, I would have hit you with George~! so many times in the past. But luckily for you, you are the only one, besides George~!, he treats me like a real friend. That’s why I think you are the best and the coolest. So please, don’t call George~! a trashcan again when you [b]know[/b] he is a person, just like you and me!” Ken responds.
Rich sighs as he walks away to check out some Xbox games that have just recently come out.
Ken grabs the red power ranger and looks over to George~! with a huge smile on his face. As he sees a man walk up to George~! and spit inside of it, he drops the power ranger whilst looking at the man furiously. He begins to charge at the man. As he comes close to the man, he leaps into the air to try and clothesline him down with a shoulder-block, but instead his feet get caught up in George~!, flipping over George~!, and onto the floor. People point and laugh at him as they walk by. He just looks up at them with hatred in his eyes. Then, all of a sudden, an old lady using a walker to move around walks up to George~! and drops a balled-up piece of paper inside. Ken jerks the old lady around and snatches her walker from her.
“Young man,” she says to Ken while stuttering, “give me back my walker! Or I’ll have you arrested on the spot!”
Ken smiles and hands the old woman her walker.
“Thank you, you nice young man,” she credits him.
Ken reaches over and grabs George~! He dumps all of the trash out onto her as she begins to scream for help, and them bashes her with George~! as well. She collapses to the floor covered in trash. People look on in shock as Ken looks at them whilst hoisting George~! into the air. “What?” he asks, wondering why everyone is staring at him. “Do I have a booger?” Everyone, including police officers and security guards and excluding the old woman he just recently hit with George~!, begin to scream and run toward the doors. He turns around and notices that Rich is the only one in Kay-Bee Toys. Ken shrugs as Rich looks at him dissatisfied.
Rich walks up to Ken and puts his hand on Ken’s shoulder. “Ken,” he pauses. “You [b]have[/b] to stop hitting people with George~! all the time man!”
Ken looks at him a little disappointed. “But I was only trying to warm up for my match with Mark Estep! And also, that old (*BEEP*) pissed me off.”
“It doesn’t matter!” Rich tells him.
“I can’t help it Rich! Just this match with Mark is bottling anger up inside of me!”
“Well, save it for him inside of the ring instead of the people [i]outside[/i] of the ring!”
“I guess you’re right,” Ken agrees. “But all I know is, Mark has become a burden -- a burden on my shoulders! With him and his butt buddy,” he continues while snickering, “Epic, I probably stand no chance.”
“That’s why you got me and Xavier in the back! Duh!”
“Oh yeah. But what about Ken Tucky and Billy Bob? Ken wants my belt! My shiny piece of medallion! You know he’s going to try and get involved in that match somehow!”
“Ken, think about it. Ken Tucky is your tag team partner for the huge, tag team, battle royal at Redemption. Even though you two won’t win, Ken is going to [i]try[/i] and win. Why would he hurt his [i]partner[/i]? It just wouldn’t make sense,” Rich explains to Ken.
“But what if he doesn’t care about the NTICW Tag Team titles. What if he just wants [i]my[/i] Extreme title? If he wins the battle royal on Mayhem, I could possibly face him earlier that night,” Ken informs Rich.
Rich lets a sigh. “Don’t worry about that. His chances of winning that battle royal are the same as me sleeping with Malloy’s mom -- it has never happened and never will!”
“I also have to face the TV and U.S. Champion later on, on Mayhem, Rich -- after I beat Mark, that is.”
“So? Your opponents are most likely going to be The Rush and Hessian. ‘Nough said.”
“I’ll take your word for it, Rich.”
“You better. Let’s get out of here,” Rich demands.
Methodical Disorder both saunter toward the doors that everyone evacuated through. The scene fades to black.
