[i]Lately, New True Internet Championship Wrestling hasn't been seeing a lot of its resident moron and Extreme Champion, Ken Kaze. Although, he did make quite a cameo on Saturday Showtime when he felt the wrath of Frankie Bones, who power bombed him onto the cold, concrete floor. Though, with the state-of-mind that Ken is currently in, he didn't know [/i]what[i] had hit him.
Even though Ken has not been booked for the past event and up-coming events, he will definitely be at this month's pay-per view, NTICW: Redemption. The match that he will enter will be a Lethal Lottery Tournament. There will be three rings forming a triangle-formation surrounded by one, huge structure -- that is known as a Hell in a Cell. The only way to win this match is by either pinning or submitting both opponents on each team, or by forcing them out of the cage. The last team that has not been eliminated will be crowned the first, NTICW Tag Team Champions.
On Showtime, we all saw NTICW Vice President Zurick make a random drawing to pair up the teams. The teams he drew are as followed, in order:
� Ken Tucky & Ken Kaze
� Gabriel De La Mineta & The Killer
� LeShawn Spade & Rich Cannon
� Kwik FX & Matt Elia
� "The Sylencer" Jay Sylo & The Pharaoh
� Riot & Hessian
� Anton 'The Kid'
� The Josh & Dandy Warhol
� Hybrid & Onslot
� Epic & Frankie Bones
� Markus "Fang" Crowell & "Totally Tubular" Tom
� Xavier Kannon & The Rush
� Christopher V. Knight & Drake Maxwell
� Asa "Fro" Fountain
� Brett Jackson & Mark Estep
� Big Poppa Plump & "The Reverend" Billy Blaze
� D-Kay Calyx & Romeo Phoenix
Two individuals must fight solo in this hellacious match, decreasing their chances of winning this match -- Anton 'The Kid' and Asa "Fro" Fountain.
Right now, the two, main teams that look like they will walk out as the NTICW Tag Team Champions are: Xavier Kannon & The Rush and "The Sylencer" Jay Sylo & The Pharaoh. On the Kannon/Rush team, you have the NTICW World Champion and NTICW TV Champion, and on the Sylo/Pharaoh team, you have a contender for the U.S. title and a contender for the World title. It is almost certain that these two teams will be one of the last five in the Lethal Lottery team, but who will the other three be? Ken Tucky and Ken Kaze? That is definitely a possibility. Ken Kaze being the NTICW Extreme Champion, and Ken Tucky being the number two contender for the Extreme Championship. The odds of these two sticking together are looking to be border-line, on favor of the 'slim' side. Though, these two, at the moment, share a common enemy -- "The Immortal Icon" Epic. This may be the only unity they will have at Redemption, but it better be if both of them want to walk out NTICW Tag Team Champs.[/i]
The scene opens up to a young woman, figure skating on ice. Soft, soothing music can be heard playing over a sound system. The young woman moves so swiftly, and lands so gently. As she does her final move, she ends it with a pose. The music ends as applauding is heard confiscating the huge building. The camera pans around and we see thousands, and thousands of people, on their feet clapping. The young woman in the center bows one last time and exits the skating rink.
As she makes her way to a seat and near her coach, a man abruptly walks up to her. In his right hand is a trashcan, that reads 'GEORGE~!' on the side of it. The man is none other then Ken Kaze, and the woman is recognized to be Michelle Kwan.
"Hey -- hey Michelle!" Ken yells at her excitedly.
"Hi -- no, I'm sorry; I don't have time for autographs right now," Michelle quickly responds.
"But I don't want an autograph," he continues, "I just had to ask you a question," he replies gloomily.
"Oh," she pauses. "Well, what is that you want, sir?"
A smile broadens across his face. "Well, GEORGE~! here," he momentarily pauses while point to GEORGE~!, "thinks you are kind of cute."
"A trashcan? Thinks I'm cute? HA! I don't have any time for jokes, mister. So I'll be leaving now," she replies whilst walking away from him.
Mumbling to GEORGE~!, "see what you did GEORGE~! You scared her! And you wanted a freaking date?! Come on GEORGE~! You can't always act like a freaking ass!"
Ken looks up above and notices a couple of people sitting in the stands are looking at him bemused. He then turns his attention back to GEORGE~!
"You know what," he continues, "I'll ask her out myself! Come on! Lets go!"
Ken jogs up to Michelle, puts his hand on her shoulder, and gently, turns her around. She notices who it is right away and pushes his hand off her shoulder.
"Ugh! It's you again!" she says distastefully.
"Yup, sure is," he replies as another smile widens across his face.
"What is it this time? Does your [i]stupid[/i], little trashcan want to ask me out again?"
Ken looks at a little mystified. He then looks down at GEORGE~!, and then looks back at her.
"Um.... no -- I did!"
Michelle's eyes almost pop out of her head as she bursts into laughter. Ken looks around, wondering what's so funny. Michelle manages to choke out one word whilst laughing.
"HA, HA, HA -- NO -- HA, HA, HA!"
"Huh? What's so funny?" Ken asks baffled.
"You asked me out!"
"Yeah..... so."
Michelle's face goes blank as she stares into Ken's eyes.
"You idiot. That means NO!" she yells as she turns her back to Ken once more, approaching her coach.
A dismayed look overcomes Ken's face. Then, all of a sudden, his face begins to turn bright red as anger overcomes him altogether.
"That no good, dirty ass, trash bag banging, low down (*BEEP*)!" Ken mutters to himself.
Ken hoists GEORGE~! up into the air and begins to charge at Michelle. As he encloses on her, he swings GEORGE~! around wildly. While making his way toward Michelle, he leaves a path of innocent, unconscious people -- victims to the wrath of GEORGE~! Finally, Ken catches up with her and smashes GEORGE~! right into her skull. She collapses straight to the ground. He stands over top of her. Blood is gushing from her head, as well as her mouth.
"That'll teach some (*BEEP*) like you to NOT turn me down! And it just shows how extreme I can really be! I didn't win this Extreme title for nothing you know!"
Ken then looks up and sees two, huge, security guards storming toward him. He turns around hastily, and runs for his life, dragging GEORGE~! behind him, through a short, narrow corridor. As he encloses on a wall, he tries to stop running, but doesn�t notice the 'CAUTION! Wet Floor' sign. He slides across the floor as if he were skiing.
"AH SA-WEEEEEET! I'M AN ICE-SKA--"
Ken hits the wall with a lot of impact. He falls to the ground making a loud thud.
The two, huge, security guards are seen curving around the corner. They look to their right and spot Ken, who is lying motionless on the floor. He peeps his head up just a bit and notices the two security guards. He scampers to his feet, but only to slip back down onto the ground. Just as the two, security guards approach him, Ken grabs GEORGE~! and swings over his head.
[i]WHAM!![/i]
One security collapses to the ground as the other checks on him. Ken seizes the moment and climbs up to his feet, whilst picking up GEORGE~! He scurries off down another corridor. As he approaches the end of the corridor, he stops once more looking behind him.
"Phew!" he sighs with relief. "I thought I was a goner."
Ken then looks down the second corridor and realizes that it heads into the audience.
"I better go blend in with the crowd," he utters to himself as he begins to pace down the corridor.
Ken walks out in between two stands. He walks to the very end of one and looks up toward the top -- where there is hardly anyone up there at all. But, however, a man sitting down with a trashcan in between his legs sticks out.
"Whoa! GEORGE~! Look!" he yells in excitement while looking down upon GEORGE~! "It's your relative! A relative! I don't know! Something like that! LOOK!" he continuously yells out in sheer excitement, whilst pointing at an obese man eating a bag of cheddar cheese Doritos.
Ken then climbs up the stands, stepping on each bench as if they were steps, one by one. He finally reaches the obese man, whose stomach sticks out of his shirt and wears extremely tight jeans, showing his butt-cracker -- almost as if he were a plumber! An uncivilized aroma comes from the man. Ken takes a seat right beside the obese man, placing GEORGE~! on the bench right in front of him.
"Hey chubby -- err... I mean, hello there... Chuckie!" he blurts out quickly, trying to cover his bad choice of words.
"Just good. How about you?" the obese man utters out, in between handfuls of cheddar cheese Doritos going into his mouth.
"Uh....... just........ fine," Ken replies, hypnotized by the luscious, cheddar cheese Doritos.
"HEY!" the obese man continues, "STOP LOOKING AT MY FOOD!!"
Ken inches back away from the obese man, not wanting to lay eyes on his food once more.
"Sorry about that -- jeez," he replies apologetically.
Ken leans into GEORGE~! as if GEORGE~! were telling him something.
"Oh -- its not? Sorry about that -- okay! Jeez man, GEORGE~! -- you sure can be awfully mean at times!"
"That's his name -- GEORGE~!?" the obese man asks Ken, while setting his bag of cheddar cheese Doritos aside, opposite of Ken.
"Yup, sure is. What about his?"
"It's a her!" the obese man mutters out heatedly.
"Oh, sorry," Ken responds hesitantly.
"And her name is Barbara Ann," the obese man says contentedly.
"You know," Ken pauses. "GEORGE~! has been searching for a girl lately. Is she--"
"NO! Barbara Ann doesn't date!"
"Okay, okay! I'm sorry," Ken replies sarcastically apologetically.
"Barbara Ann says, 'hi, GEORGE~!'," the obese man tells GEORGE~!
"GEORGE~! says, 'hey uh... toots'," Ken tells Barbara Ann.
"WHAT?!" the obese man yells enraged. "WHAT DID THAT PIECE OF CRAP SAY?!?!"
"ARE YOU DEAF, FAT MAN?! HE SAID, 'HEY UH--"
The obese man grabs GEORGE~! and nails Ken with him. At that point, four, security guards see all the chaos that is taking place -- the obese man repeatedly hitting Ken with GEORGE~! -- and run up to the obese man. Three security guards hold the obese man down as the other takes GEORGE~! away from him.
"You will be charged for assault with a weapon against one, Michelle Kwan. I will read you your rights as I haul you down to the main, executive office," one of the security guards says, while leading the obese man down the stands handcuffed.
Another security guard helps Ken up, noticing the blood trickling down his face from his forehead.
"Are you okay, sir?" the security guard asks Ken questioningly.
"Uh............. yeah. Whe- whe- where am I?" Ken asks whilst looking around. His vision is all blurry and he can barely make out the security guard.
"You were attacked by a man -- he used this trashcan to beat you with it. We will you get you on an ambulance as soon as possible.
One of the other security guards runs up to the handcuffed obese man and other security guard as Ken feels on his forehead. He gently brushes his hand across his forehead and looks down at his hand -- noticing the blood.
"Why was he arrested?" Ken asks a little weary.
"Well, for assaulting you with a weapon, as well as Michelle Kwan," the security guard responds. "A stretcher's coming. We'll load you up on the ambulance in no time."
"Nah," Ken continues, "that's okay -- really. I'm okay. I'll be just fine."
"Are you sir sure?" the security guard asks sympathetically.
"Yes, I am sure," Ken responds, a little fed-up at this moment.
The security guard leaves Ken by himself to catch up with the others. Ken grabs GEORGE~! while standing up.
"Jesus Christ..... that fat jackass got me GOOD! ARRRRGH! I HATE WHEN PEOPLE GET THE BETTER OF ME!!!"
Ken tries to walk down the bleachers, but he trips and tumbles all the way down to the concrete floor.
Ken peeps his head up just a tad bit. "I'm all right," he says as his head falls backward. Ken climbs up to his feet with the help of the bottom bleacher. He sits down on the bleacher, pivoting his elbows onto his thighs resting his chin on his hands.
"I wonder where Rich is. I bet he's pretty pissed about having to tag with LeSpade Shawn. I mean Spade LeShawn. I mean -- ARRGH! FORGET HIS NAME! I just bet he's mad about that. And I have to tag with that imbecile who attacked me on Mayhem! KEN TUCKY! And his brother, Billy Bob. THE FAT MAN WHO HURT GEORGE~!!!!" Ken yells out irate, whilst looking at GEORGE~! with a little bit concern, but it isn't that noticeable due to the anger that has overwhelmed his face. "GEORGE~!, don't worry, I'll get that fat (*BEEP*) Billy Bob! No one hurts my friends and gets away with it! NO ONE! And, no one gets away with hurting me!"
Ken unbuttons the NTICW Extreme Championship from around GEORGE~! and drapes it over his own shoulder. "Man, I feel like a champion. I wonder why.... oh yeah! DUH! I AM a Champion! Ha, ha! HEAR THAT KEN?! HEAR THAT?! [I]I[/I] AM A CHAMPION! NOT YOU! NOT FAT BOB! BUT ME! KEN -- what's my name again? Oh yeah! -- KEN KAZE! I hold this Extreme title! And, after me and you win those Tag Team Championships at Redemption, there is no way in heck I will let you get this title away from me! No way!"
Ken begins to calm down a bit. "Speaking of my Extreme title, I have to face "Malicious" Mark Estep on Tuesday Mayhem, defending my Extreme title for a second time. This will be the second, and LAST, Epic Prostitutes -- what's that GEORGE~!? Oh, it's Epic Proportions? Whoops. Anyways, as I was saying, this will be the second and last Estep Proportions -- huh?! I got it wrong again?! OKAY, OKAY! DON'T YELL GEORGE~! People will hear you," Ken says, while doing a hand-gesture up against GEORGE~!; the [i]shhh![/i] hand-gesture.
"Anyways! Mark Estep, you won't be a challenge to me! Not at all! I have GEORGE~! by my side! I have Rich by my side! I have Xavier by my side! Heck, I even have Ken on my side! But, who do YOU have on your side? NO BODY! Besides Epic! Ha, ha, I beat that little twerp one too many times as it is!" Ken bellows eagerly. "So, you better get your buddy Epic to help you out in this match!"
Ken leans into GEORGE~! as if GEORGE~! were telling him something again.
"WHAT?! You mean -- no way! I'm double booked?! ARRRGH! Who must I face after Mike? I mean Mark! Whatever! Oh. The TV Champion and the U.S. Champion? And they don't know who will be the Champions by then? Who cares. They shouldn't be any competition anyways! And plus, isn't there a battle royal to be number one contender for the Extreme title before all of this? Thought so. Yeah well, who ever wins that will just have to take their beating like a man at the pay-per-view! Lets get out of here, GEORGE~!" Ken tells GEORGE~! enthusiastically.
Ken stands up grabbing GEORGE~! He begins to walk against the wall that separates the actual skating rink from the stands, fans, food vendors, etcetera. The scene fades to black.
