Accolade of George
By Ken Kaze ft. Sgt. Henry W. Rowengarter
“Idioth” by Group X blasts through the speakers as the crowd gets on their feet cheering. Clips of footage of Ken Kaze advancing through the US Title Invitational appear on the NOWtron. Also footage of George being bashed over people’s heads, as well as other inanimate objects being thrashed appear on the screen. Green and yellow lights illuminate the stage as Kaze emerges from backstage. Pyrotechnics blast from the stage as he slowly advances toward the ring. In the audience different signs can be seen:
“What kind of pussy hides behind a mask?”
“I WANT TO HAVE YOUR BABY, WALDO!”
“GEORGE IS GOD!”
“How can you hate Bush? YOU MUST BE GAY!”
“RICHIE PWNZ WALDO FOR LIFE!”
“RPG4 IS A TRAVESHAMOCKERY!”
“WHAT THE FUCK IS THE MARINE CORPORATION?”
After scanning the crowd from inside the ring, Kaze begins to speak with a microphone already in hand. “Tonight folks, I bring to you a special tribute to my late greatest friend of all time … George.”
A loud pop erupts throughout the arena at the mention of George’s name.
“Last week, that sonuvafudgedbucket Rowing Blatter killed my bestest friend! He KEELED him! In cold blood! Well, actually it was kind of warm because it was in that hot ass Boy Larry room, and it did have the stench of piss – but you know what I mean! That crazy old man in the Marine Corporation murdered him. For all we know, he probably he killed Carter, too!”
Jeers overwhelm the arena at the mention of this statement. Confused, Kaze tries to cover his ass.
“No, I mean, I didn’t say that! I say, I didn’t mean that! Or, err… I don’t know!” He looks around frantically at the half-jeering, half-laughing crowd. “FUCK HENRY!” That seemed to fix things. “Now, look. It’s time for me to do what I came out here to do. And that is… TO DO YOU! HAHAHA!” The crowd laughs at Kaze’s stupidity, who in turn takes it as they are laughing with him. “Hahahaha, I just keel myself sometimes. Anyway, I present to you on the NOWtron… the George Memorial!”
On the NOWtron it shows a picture of Kaze holding George whilst he is skipping on the shore of a beach. Both wide with smiles, Kaze’s authentic and George’s painted-on. A new picture appears showing Kaze bashing the janitor with a vengeance over the head with George. The next picture shows Kaze beating a wire senseless (if it had any senses to begin with) with George. Another picture shows Kaze grasping his balls while in the praying position, looking at George desperately. Kaze is shown taking out his ruthless aggression on a vending machine with his only weapon of choice, George. Much to the delight of the fans, Gargano is seen being clobbered in the face with George next. Followed up by that, Rowengarter is seen in several pictures being smashed in the face with George.
That is when the sounds of “Warhead” by OTEP are heard. Immediately the arena erupts into jeers as Sgt. Henry W. Rowengarter emerges from the back with a microphone already in hand, interrupting Kaze’s memorial highlights reel for George. Kaze stares at Henry intently, obviously not pleased with his emergence.
“Kaze, Kaze, Kaze,” says the Sarge, pacing back and forth on the stage. “I thought I took you out last week you imbecile. I thought in that boiler room, I left you to die. Just like your piece of shit trashcan George!”
It is almost as if Henry inhales the hisses he receives from the crowd as his adrenaline only begins to rage even more, as his resentment of Kaze ascends. “You’re nothing now, Kaze, ya know that? You’re nothing. It’s not like you were anything to begin with, but now, you’re less than nothing. Without your scrap box, you have nothing to no longer confide in. You can’t even think for yourself, boy. That’s pathetic when an inanimate object has to think for you. And since it obviously doesn’t think for you, it explains why you’re such a fucking moron!”
FUCK! YOU! HENRY!
FUCK! YOU! HENRY!
FUCK! YOU! HENRY!
“Yeah, fuck you, too!” Henry receives the obvious reaction of boos that he thrives off of.
Kaze steps in between the ropes, and climbs down from the ring to the outside. “I got a question for ya Rowing Garden: does your middle initial “W” stand for homo?!” He breaks down into hysterics as he leaves Henry as well as the rest of the arena in bewilderment. “You know, if George were here right now, he would so own you! He would kick your ass all over this arena! That’s why, in favor of George, I’ll kick your ass myself!”
Kaze drops the microphone and starts at a sprint toward Rowengarter. Henry throws his microphone to the side, obviously waiting for the charging Kaze. Kaze demolishes Henry right off gate with a gore into the NOWtron. However, Henry begins to bring down his huge forearms across the back of Kaze. Kaze backs away and regains his composure quickly before swinging a right hand toward Henry. However it is countered as Henry grabs his arm, swings him around, and grabs him in an inverted DDT position. He lifts Kaze into the air and drives him down onto the steel stage headfirst, courtesy of the Semper Fi.
Henry stands up and retrieves his microphone. “Now roll that footage for this piece of shit!” On the NOWtron, we see footage of Rowengarter dismantling George in the boiler room from last week. He spits on Kaze before walking to the back to the sounds of “Warhead” by OTEP.
