There I stood. In the center of all things that be. In the center of a city seemingly so big, you could place the universe in here twelve times over. In the center of New Orleans, Louisiana during the famous Mardi Gras festival. In the center of New Orleans, Louisiana was a minuscule, blocked off street. In the center of that miniscule, blocked off street was the squared circle, or the wrestling ring. In the center of the squared circle is where I stood. So, once more, there I stood.
I believed my face to be expressionless, in a state of shock; paralysis had overwhelmed me. This was incredible. This was fantastic. This was breathtaking. This was . . .
. . . terrifying. I had never seen so many faces in one clustered little vicinity in my life. I scanned the crowd to its fullest. I analyzed every bewildered expression in the masses. It was apparent they had no clue as to who I was. Vice versa, it was perceptible that I had no clue who they were. Not as if that mattered much, but, I just wanted to make the point clear.
A lot of the fans brandished old jOlt Wrestling t-shirts with names such as Brandon Blade, Jonathan Conspiracy, and Wippit Guud publicized on the front of them.
Some of the fans seemed to be cheering our of sheer excitement. Some of them seemed to be cheering because they had nothing better to do. Some of them seemed to be cheering for seeing a fresh face.
It was obvious this crowd liked fresh faces. Who didn�t?
I paced around the ring, still taking in what I never imagined possible: to be in front of this many walking, talking, breathing human bodies, in such a tight space not even the Virgin Mother Mary�s vagina could compare. To loosen up my uneasiness, I jogged slightly toward the ropes to bounce off of them. Resilient from the ropes I was as I charged at the parallel set of ropes in front of me. As I had almost made it the ropes, I somehow stumbled over my own feet and fell face first to the canvas.
Ouch! Not a pleasant scenario for me to be in. The cheers had now turned into laughter. But what more could be expected of the audience? They all pointed and jeered as I pulled myself back up to my feet with help of the ropes. I cracked a smile myself; not because I was amused, more so to go along with the crowd. If they smiled, I figured it would be best if I smiled, too.
I instantly walked over to my greatest friend in all of eternity, George. The aluminum trashcan with the spray painted smiley face. I clutched the rim of George with both hands and held him high into the air. I pumped him continuously to get the crowd back on my side, but to no avail. The laughter continued.
I hopped up on the second rope in one of the corners. I pumped George with one hand this time, the other raised in the air, reaching for the heavens. I hopped off and ran to the opposite corner performing the same ritual. I eventually found myself in the middle of the ring again. I set George down beside me now that the crowd was cheering again. I pulled a microphone out of my tights and placed it firmly just below my lips.
�Jolt Wrestling, I would like to introduce myself to you all.�
I paused, as any normal person would do, expecting a reaction. The reaction didn�t change. The cheering continued.
�I am Ken Kaze, and this here, is George the trashcan!�
I pointed to George, obviously, only to emphasize the introduction. I�m sure they got the point.
�And we both have found ourselves here in Jolt. Where we both plan to take the company over by storm, and quickly find ourselves at the top. Yes, you can bet your last top dollar that we will be performing some bootay kicking here in Jolt. George and I won�t back down from a challenge, and we plan to prove that eventually. You�ll see exactly why I��
Huh? Did that top rope just say I sucked ass?
�You suck ass! You suck ass! You suck ass!� The top rope was literally insulting me.
�Why, you ignorant sack of donkey crack potatoes on a oven stove fire, frying a needle in a haystack!� Instantly, the crowd went silent in misunderstanding. �I�ll teach you to talk trash about me! I�ll make an example of you and show you, as well as all of these people in attendance, why George and I, are a dominant force not to be reckoned with.�
I dropped the microphone and seized George by the rim once more. I cocked him over my head and charged at the set of ropes in front of me. While emitting a rather obnoxious, �Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiii-yaaaaaaaaa!� I annihilated the top rope with George, as George met the top rope. And the top rope met George.
Only, there was one flaw in my plan.
SMACK!
George rebounded off of the top rope and connected with my cranium. That left me unconscious until the paramedics came.
