Ex-Laxamania

Characters: Ken Kaze & Geo Vacton

“UUUUNNNNHHHH!”

“AAAARRGGGGHHHHH!”

“HMMMMMMMMNNNNNHH!”

“GRRRRRRRRRR!”

Monotonous moans and groans emanated from a restroom, as the obvious occupant was having quite a time on the other side of the stall. The bowel movements within the toilet tenant were apparently too excruciating for them to endure.

PLOP!

“YYYEEESSSSSS . . . THERE’S ONE!” a voice growled, evidently counting the number of splashes they could make inside of the toilet.

PLOP!

As the sound of fresh feces being deposited into the lavatory reverberated off of the walls, a door had swung open simultaneously. Geo Vacton had entered, and was visibly not pleased by the welcome of the odor that graced his nostrils. He immediately began to fan the aroma away from his face as he approached the unavailable stall. He doubled over to gaze beneath the door to the stall, apparently trying to identify who it was grunting on the other side.

“Kaze? Is that you?” Vacton asked. “Kenny?”

PLOP!

“UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNNNNHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”

PLOP!PLOP!PLOP!PLOP!PLOP!PLOP!

“MY ASSHOLE’S EXPLOOOOOOOOODDDDDDDIIIIINGGGGGG!” Ken bellowed loudly, sounding as if he were suffering from the most agonizing pain ever.

“Dude,” Geo started innocently, “you drank Ex-Lax.”

“I KNNNNNNOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWW!”

PLOP!PLOP!PLOP!

. . .

PLOP!

“Aw, you poor little dude . . .”

“I AM BLEEEEEDDDDDDDDIIIIIINGGGGGG! HELP ME, GEO! WHY ARE THESE EX-LAX STY-ROIDS EATING AWAY AT MY IIIIINNNNNSSSSSSSIIIIDEEEEEEESSSSSS?!”

PLOP!

“Sty-roids?” Vacton queried to himself. “What in the world is that?” he mumbled. He shook his head as if to shrug the question off before standing back up. “I can’t help you, dude. You gotta do this one on your own. No helping hand or Velcro-strapped boots will help you in this situation. Sorry, bud.”

Geo turned around as if to leave, but decided to bid his friend good luck and farewell.

“Hope you’ll be okay in there. I’ll be in the locker room with Nash, most likely. Catch ya later.”

Vacton grabbed a hold of the door handle and exited the bathroom.

“I THOUGHT ONLY YOUR BALLS SHRANK . . . NOT YOUR ASSSSSSHHHHHHOOOOOLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!”

HMMMMMPH!

PLOP!PLOP!PLOP!PLOP!PLOP!