In Da Club
Characters: Ken Kaze, Love!Love! KAMIKAZE!!!
“You can find me in the club, bottle full of Bud
Mama, I got that X, if you into takin’ drugs
I’m into having sex, I ain’t into making love
So come give me a hug if you into getting rubbed”
Fresh off of their first victory over the Ninja Brigade, Team KAMI/Kaze decided to take yet another night out on the town. This time, they decided to go clubbing to pick up some chicks. Sounds like fun, eh? Of course. Everyone loves to go pick up hot babes clean from a success that was broadcasted nationwide.
“Picking up women . . .” begins Kamikaze, “is a science. You need to find the perfect target. You don’t pick the first one you see.”
A leggy, well-built brunette passed by and did a double take. “You didn’t happen to be on TV tonight, did you?”
“Perhaps I was. You a wrestling fan?”
“My boyfriend is . . .”
“Boyfriend?”
“Yeah, he’s obsessed . . . yeah, you look familiar. Aren’t you in Jolt?”
“Yes, and so is my associate. Would you like for your boyfriend to enjoy an autograph?”
“He’d love it . . . if only he hadn’t blown me off to go to a match . . .”
A smirk grew on Kamikaze’s face. “Did he? Too bad he didn’t realize what a beautiful woman he had in his grasp. What’s your name?”
“Karen,” replied the brunette. She gave him a slight wink before blushing. Kaze simply stared in awe as Kamikaze seemed to have picked his perfect target, despite her being the first one he saw.
“But crazy headband-wearing Chink guy,” Kaze butted in, “I thought you said you don’t pick the first one you see!”
That idiot. Didn’t he know the proper term was ‘nip’? This was what was running through Kamikaze’s mind as he turned away from Karen to face Ken. “You retard,” he mumbled under his breath. “Uh . . . Ken, hold on a sec.”
“Wait, what is he talking about?” Karen didn’t seem to be too fond of the query Kaze had just made. The implication she picked up from it wasn’t a good one.
“Uh . . . nothing. Nothing.” Kamikaze lowered his voice to a whisper. “You must ignore my friend here. He’s a little intoxicated. He doesn’t know exactly what he’s saying.”
“BUT CRAZY JAPANESE DUDE,” Kaze screamed in Kamikaze’s ear, as he was leaning in to eavesdrop on the conversation. “I’M NOT INTOXI-MA-CATED! I don’t even know what that means!”
Kamikaze raised his eyebrows at Karen before replying, “See what I mean?”
Just then, a busty blonde had brushed past Ken. “HEY BEEEOTCH. WATCH WHERE YOU’RE GOING!” He turned to look at Kamikaze who wasn’t too pleased with Ken’s ‘picking-up-chicks’ skills. “YOU ALMOST RAN OVER GEORGE!”
Kamikaze decided damage control was in order. “What he means is, he is a professional wrestler who has drunk too much whiskey and would like the pleasure of your company.”
The blonde raised her eyebrows. “And let me guess – you’re his manager.”
“Tag team partner, actually.” This was Kamikaze’s cue to open his shirt and reveal the kind of chest no heterosexual man that does not appear before cameras has. And he certainly appeared before his share of cameras. The brunette looked on approvingly.
“And let me guess,” sneered the blonde, “George is his imaginary friend.”
“Actually,” said the brunette, “it’s his garbage can. He hits people with it. My boyfriend has a poster of him.”
“You mean he’s legit?”
“Could a fraud bring a garbage can into a nightclub?” asked Kamikaze. “He had to keep three bouncers from taking it away.”
The blonde observed Kaze for a bit before shrugging in defeat, as she had no more witty remarks to make. “Okay,” was her simple reply.
“So – what’s your name anyway?” inquired the Roppongi Romeo.
“Alicia.”
“Well, Alicia – care to join Karen and I? We were about to set off —”
“What about me, Sir Pokémon Master?” interrupted Kaze. “Apparently your chinky ass eyes made you forget I was here!”
“And Kaze,” Kamikaze added in. “So, how about it?”
Alicia nodded her head. Karen hooked one of Kamikaze’s arms, and Alicia clasped onto the other. The trio set off from the nightclub looking to have a night of fun. Ken, not understanding what was going on, looked around in bewilderment.
“HEY, CRAZY NINJA BRUCE LEE GUY! WHERE DID YOU GOOOOOO?!”
Ken began swatting George around like a flaming dildo of DOOM~!, knocking people out in the process. He continued to yell for Love!Love! KAMIKAZE!!! who finally responded. The scene faded from the RaveTron.
