Singles Match
Ken Kaze vs. “Simply Crazy” Chris Mezz
The following match could have been looked upon in several different perspectives. In one sense, it could have been seen as a boost or an opportunity for Ken Kaze, hoping to become one with the wrestlers with superstardom tattooed all over their chests. At another standpoint, it could have been viewed upon as “light work” or a “refresher” for the more experienced Chris Mezz. Nonetheless, both of these men were scheduled to wage war amongst each other.
The lights had vanished in the Mile One Stadium, coupled with green pyrotechnics blasting vertically into the air. As the fireworks display continued in a random assortment of green, white, and yellow, “Structural Defect” by Static-X played through the P.A. system as the stadium erupted into a chorus of cheers, awaiting the arrival of their Hero of Hardcore, Ken Kaze.
“Hailing from Charlotte, North Carolina . . .” Clippie Da Clown began, interrupted by a small portion of boos for the mention of Jolt’s rival territory which was drowned out by the ruckus of cheers just as quickly as it came. “Standing at five feet, eleven inches, weighing in at one hundred ninety-eight pounds, he is KEEEENNNN KAAAAAAAZZZEE!”
The lights had resurfaced by now and Ken Kaze was emerging from backstage, causing the cheers to intensify even more. He was coming fresh off of a magnificent victory over the Ninja Brigade alongside his makeshift partner in Love!Love! KAMIKAZE!!! at Wrestle Sault, and was as ecstatic as he could ever be. Along with his win came eighty beautiful green slips of paper, all with the smug face of Benjamin Franklin on the cover. For the special folks out there, that’s $8,000. He pumped George the Trashcan into the air and approached the squared circle, slapping hands on his way down.
His battle scars were obvious, accredited to the tape wrapping around his ribs and lower back, as well as the stitches on his mouth. He was told not to enter this contest earlier on during the night for possible risk of damaging his current wounds even more, but he disregarded the warnings. He saw this as a chance to better himself by facing another one of the premiere stars in the federation, and he was not going to let it pass.
“Tourniquet” by Marilyn Manson replaced “Structural Defect” as the arena exploded into a mixed reaction, the majority cheering. Yes, it was a mixed reaction, but the 6,000 cheers and jeers combined blew the roof off as if they were the same Wrestle Sault 21,000 faithful in attendance. Pyrotechnics spiced up his introduction even more. It was time for the former PIW World Champion . . . the Crazy One . . . “Simply Crazy” Chris Mezz to make his way down to the ring.
“And . . . hailing all the way from the mean streets of Hartford and New Haven, Connecticut, standing at six feet, two inches, weighing in at approximately two hundred forty-five pounds, he is the Crazy One . . . “Simply Crazy” CHRISSSS MEEEEEZZZZ!” Clippie Da Clown concluded the introduction before exiting the ring.
Chris Mezz was stalking his opposition centered in the ring, whilst slapping the fans’ hands. This man was definitely looking for a win tonight. He was the only wrestler who left Wrestle Sault with an 0-2 record. Two losses in one night? It was obvious Mezz was looking to redeem himself tonight. As he stood before the ring, he glanced at Kaze. He then walked over to the ring steps where George was stationed, looked down inside him, and did the most disgusting, vile thing a person could ever do. Well, maybe not that bad, but he spat inside George, which didn’t please the crowd too much.
Chris stepped inside the ring via the aforementioned steps and stared at Ken, almost daring him to strike. The referee for this match was the veteran Jolt Wrestling Official Kim “Korean Warrior” Jin Gui. Kim called for the bell.
DING, DING, DING!
The match was underway now . . . with a stalemate. Neither man moved. A stare down had ensued and neither one wanted to break the hold. Then . . . one of them blinked.
“Ah, f[BEEP!]k me silly, George. I blinked!” Ken yelled in discouragement.
Chris’ facial expression turned into one of bemusement and approached his opponent, having been the victor of the stare down. Hey, that’s one win tonight, perhaps another will be good enough to negate his Wrestle Sault record. Both men locked up with the common collar and elbow tie up. Mezz being the bigger man altogether, in both height and weight, overpowered Kaze easily and backed him up into the ropes. He shoved Ken into the resilient ropes and sent him across the ring.
On the rebound, Mezz was waiting to tear Kaze apart. However, realizing his position near the ropes, he doubled over at the last second and sent Ken soaring through the air. For a moment, you would’ve thought he had an S on his chest. Chris turned around with a wicked smile on his face, pleased with the way he had so easily rid himself of his opposition. To his (and my) surprise, he was caught with a stiff right hook to the jaw, followed by a kick the midsection. Ken had opposed the back body drop with a counteracted corkscrew.
Seizing the opportunity, Ken latched onto the top rope slinging his small frame over Mezz catching him with a sunset flip.
One.
TWO!
Kickout.
Of course the pin attempt was no good, it was the first actual offensive maneuver of the match. Perhaps Ken just wanted to look fancy, or perhaps he thought he could have overwhelmed Mezz with confusion before he had enough time to process his whereabouts. Nah, Ken’s not that smart. He’s not smart at all.
Both men stood their ground once more as Mezz took it upon himself to strike first. A double leg takedown attempt was made, but Ken leaped back bracing himself on top of Chris as his chest met the mat. Floating over to his backside, Ken fastened his arms around Mezz with a waist lock, now in full advantage. Hey, he may be an idiot after all, but there is a reason why the man’s a wrestler.
The Crazy One was up to his feet with the moron still attached to his back. He swung a reckless rear elbow only to meet air as the shorter Ken ducked slightly. Another rear elbow didn’t meet its mark. A third rear elbow still hadn’t struck gold. Simply Crazy was definitely enraged now. Only to amplify the anger inside his adversary, Ken released one arm from the waist lock to tickle Mezz behind the ear. He immediately smacked his ear to rid himself of the tickling sensation to a chorus of laughs. Ken continued the charade once more which seemed to only enhance the amount of irritation inside of Chris. He decided to end these little games. A swift, strong back kick to the family jewels was good enough to end anyone’s bothersome amusement.
Jolt Official Kim Jin Gui turned his head as if to say, “I didn’t see nothin’.” Chris lifted Ken up to his feet and Irish whipped him into the ropes. On the return, he was sent down to the mat with a vicious clothesline from Mezz. However, the Hero of Hardcore ricocheted from the mat onto his feet with a nicely executed kip up. This time he chose to send himself into the ropes, only to receive another decapitating clothesline from the former PIW World Champion. Up on his feet again, Ken was once more charging the ropes. Mr. Elbow, meet Kaze’s face.
Resilient as he was, he wasn’t getting up after that one. Ken clutched his face in agony as he rolled over onto his stomach. Quite possibly some of the stitches placed in and outside of his mouth could’ve been ripped open. And that, folks, isn’t exactly a feeling of ecstasy. Chris helped Ken up to a vertical basis, though, and applied a front face lock. Not much longer Ken was upside down in the air, only to crash down to the mat with a vertical suplex.
Following that up, Simply Crazy’s elbow once more collided with the already damaged face of Ken. Chris stood up and awaited for Ken to do the same, who was pulling himself up via the ropes in the corner. As he made it to his feet, he was sandwiched between flesh and turnbuckle. Chris bounced off of the ropes and caught a stumbling Kaze with a bulldog, emphasizing the damage already done to his face.
The Crazy One followed up with a lateral press.
One.
TWO!
Kickout.
The Hardcore Retard wasn’t done yet. Chris was up to his feet as was Ken. He charged at his foe and connected with a moonsault dropkick. Bouncing from the ropes, Mezz hopped across a prone Kaze into the parallel set of ropes. However, rather than wait on the return, Ken was up and about, trailing just behind his opponent. Not calculating the amount of momentum nor the amount of distance correctly, Ken crashed right into Chris causing both men to tumble to the outside.
Confused as ever, Mezz looked around from his kneeling position only to see Ken kneeling beside him. He instinctively gouged Ken’s eyes to buy him some time as he stood up. Chris leaned against the aprons allowing his rival for this contest to stand up. Before he even realized where he was at, Ken was hit with a ton of bricks as Mezz speared him into the ring post. A cry out in agony was a signal for a job well done to Chris.
As the Korean Warrior had counted to six, Mezz now took the battle back inside the ring. Both men were on their feet; however, Ken had a hand placed on his back, still feeling the effects from the ring post spear. Chris had punched Ken in the jaw with a swift right, followed by a left jab, and concluded with a clothesline. Mezz bounced off the ropes and connected with an elbow drop to the sternum of Ken. He laid there motionless. Chris stood back up and was returning from the ropes once more. Another elbow drop to the sternum, only this time Ken sold it even more with his legs and arms jutting out into the air. Looking for the hat trick, Mezz was returning for (what was hopefully) the last time, but Ken had different plans.
Kip up hurricanrana! The crowd exploded with this maneuver as Ken was up to his feet now. He instantly rebounded from the ropes and leaped in the air to the now standing Chris Mezz and caught him with a cross body block. Rolling through, Ken was back up and spring boarded from the top rope with an insane moonsault! However, seven years of experience will teach you to never stay put as Mezz rolled out the way.
Unbeknownst to Mezz, however, Ken had enough experience of his own to be ready to land on his feet when an attempted high-risk maneuver could go wrong. Chris was on his knees attempting to stand vertical, but was sent back down to the mat with a brutal moonsault dropkick to the back of the head. Apprehending the current situation, Jolt’s Resident Moron took it upon himself to perform one of his trademark performances. Entitled:
The Asshole’s Asshole!
It was a rapid, neutering field goal kick right square in the nuts. The fans loved this and so did Jolt Official Kim Jin Gui as a sickening grin spread across his face. If there was anything the Korean Warrior loved more than anything in the world, it was two wrestlers using the dirtiest of the cheapest tactics they could think of.
The Westport native rolled about the ring cupping his ‘private parts’ as Ken watched in glee. Chris had made it to one knee and was still pulling himself up with usage of the ropes, but a SMACK! to the jaw, courtesy of an atrocious superkick, sent him back down. It was time to go big and the Hero of Hardcore had let it be known. He ascended to the top rope, facing the only obstacle holding him back from attaining a check in the Win column. He leapt toward the heavens in a single bound and allowed his body to achieve the amount of destruction necessary to end Chris Mezz.
Shooting Star Press!
Ken had landed on the back of Chris, which wasn’t good news for either man. Kaze’s ribs were still sore from his battle against the Ninja Brigade at Wrestle Sault, and Brandon Youngblood as well as Kenjiro Ito had taken a beating to Mezz’s back. Kim Jin Gui had no other option to broadcast the double count.
Fortunately, this match wasn’t ending in result of a cheap no contest as both men were stirring to their feet by the two count. It was the Kazernator Extremeth who was at a vertical basis first. As Mezz finally made his way to one knee, Ken was hoping to connect with a spinning heel kick. Too bad. Chris ducked it and pounced onto his feet like a cat. He kicked Ken in the midsection before applying a standing headscissors. Ken was up in the air and one with the mat before you knew it, as brute force had allowed him so. The hopeful pin attempt was made.
ONE.
TWO!
TH—NO!
Foot on the ropes allowed the match to continue. Ken scrambled to his feet to defend any further advantageous maneuvers Mezz may have attempted. The Crazy One caught the roundhouse kick from Ken flying his way. Looking for the Enziguri, Chris simply blocked it by pushing his opponent’s leg away. Rather than falling to the mat, Ken safely landed on his one leg. Mezz wouldn’t allow that, though, as he swiped Ken off his feet to the ground with a double leg takedown. Not relenting whatsoever, Chris came to a vertical basis with a front waist lock applied, holding Kaze high into the air.
Simply Crazy slammed the self-proclaimed Hardcore Master to the ground with a spinebuster. However, being one step ahead, Ken foiled Mezz’s plans with an inside cradle!
ONE!
TWO!
THRE—NO!
Kickout.
Near fall attempt. Chris slammed his fists to the mat as he was to have none of that crap. He stood to his feet and turned around to deliver a hard right punch to the damaged mouth of Kaze, but that was quickly changed as Mezz was brought to the ground with a jumping headscissors takedown. Up on his feet now, Ken bounced off the ropes and back flipped from the mat with a beautiful standing Shooting Star Press! Kim was there to make the count.
One.
TWO!
Kickout.
Not yet. Chris’ tank wasn’t on empty yet. He proved this by a simple eye poke to Ken before standing up. He clutched Kaze’s head for a front face lock. Chris had attempted a snap suplex; however, his opposition’s feet caught the bottom side of the top rope causing a shift of momentum. Corkscrewing in midair, Ken capitalized on this shift of momentum with a nicely executed counteroffensive midair tornado DDT! Rolling through with his opponent, Ken latched onto Mezz’s leg with another inside cradle attempt!
ONE!
TWO!
TH—NO!
A second consecutive cradle pin attempt just wasn’t good enough either. Both men were on their feet. They began circling each other, waiting to see he would strike first, bringing them back to square one. Only, it wasn’t exactly square one as they both weren’t at 100% health anymore. Ken attacked first, but was quickly taken down to the mat with an arm drag. Back on his feet, Ken charged again, but a second arm drag took him down. This time Chris charged and Ken fed him an arm drag of his own. With Mezz back on his feet, Kaze charged in but was surprised by a back body drop.
However, being as agile as he was, he found himself perched on the top rope. He turned around to find Mezz charging at him. Leaping off, Ken prayed he would land on the Crazy One’s shoulders for the dragonrana, looking to put this one away. Oh, Ken landed on Mezz’s shoulder all right, but found himself on the receiving end of a sitout powerbomb.
ONE!
TWO!
THRE—NO!
The near fall attempt had almost put everything Ken had worked for in this match away. He swore to himself he wouldn’t let that happen again. However, his thought process was interrupted as he ate the turnbuckle. After repeated head smashes to the turnbuckle, Mezz lifted Ken up and placed him back where he originally came from: the top turnbuckle. Chris was on the second turnbuckle and had the front face lock applied. You knew what was coming next . . .
SUPERPLEX!
The ring shook with that one, just as Ken rolled through with a pin attempt!
ONE!
TWO!
THRE—NOOOO!
Mezz’s foot was under the ropes, therefore Kim was required to stop the three count. It seemed that both of these men were spent, as it had taken everything Kaze had left in him in order to roll through from the superplex, and Chris was facedown, tending to his back.
“LET’S – GO – KEN – KAZE!” – clap – clap – clapclapclap
“LET’S – GO – KEN – KAZE!” – clap – clap – clapclapclap
“LET’S – GO – KEN – KAZE!” – clap – clap – clapclapclap
That was the chant for one half of the stadium. On the other hand, the other half contradicted the opposing side’s chant with their own.
“LET’S – GO – CHRIS – MEZZ! LET’S - GO!” – clap – clap
“LET’S – GO – CHRIS – MEZZ! LET’S - GO!” – clap – clap
“LET’S – GO – CHRIS – MEZZ! LET’S - GO!” – clap – clap
The Hero of Hardcore was up first as he decided to prop himself in the corner, awaiting his opponent to make his way to his feet as well. Simply Crazy was up to one knee now before Ken began pacing toward him. Ken pulled Chris the rest of the way up and kneed him in the midsection, causing him to double over. Kaze hooked on a gutwrench looking to finish this one off, and attempted to power the 245-pounder up, but he didn’t contain enough strength.
He settled for an alternative and turned around, his back facing Mezz. Ken underhooked both of his opponent’s arms looking for yet another finisher of his, but the Crazy One wouldn’t have anything to do with this. He quickly inserted his head between Ken’s legs and lifted him skyward. Pushing up onto Kaze’s legs allowed him to come crashing down face first with an electric chair drop!
Chris Mezz took to a vertical basis and shouted to the crowd. He was ready to seal the deal. As he awaited for his prey to get onto all fours, and then to his legs, Chris lifted Ken into the air with a fireman’s carry. Twisting his body 90 degrees, he spun the opposite way from his original rotation, loosening his grip on Ken’s legs. Kaze’s body gyrated outward thanks to centrifugal force and came crashing to the mat in a heap. This was more commonly known as the F5 around the sports entertainment part of the world, but in our world it was more commonly known as . . .
Yup, you guessed it: THE M-80!
It was done. Alas for Mezz, Ken was able to apply a headlock in mid-move and spiked Chris’ skull right off of the canvas with a DDT. Ken was up on his feet and saw the opening he needed. He grabbed both of Mezz’s legs and applied a figure four with his arms. Tucking the extending leg underneath his armpit, Ken rolled over, positioning a knee into the center of Mezz’s spine.
THE SPINAL TAP CLOVERLEAF!
It was over. After everything Mezz’s back had went through over the past few days, there was no way he could hold on for long. Kim Jin Gui continued to ask Chris if he wanted to submit, but Mezz only emitted more yelling in agony. Ken wrenched back harder, hoping to seal this one off. With Mezz no longer responding to Kim, he decided to raise Chris’ arm into the air. It fell.
ONE!
Kim raised Mezz’s arm into the air once more. Same ritual.
TWO!
The reaction of the crowd was changing, but Ken was oblivious to the yells and screams of the warning of things to come. He was also oblivious to the fact the 6’5”, 256 lbs. Polar was charging down the ramp way, thanks to his back facing the entrance whilst he faced the announce table. Polar had grabbed a hold of George and slid into the ring.
Kim stood up almost instantly, ready to tell Polar off for attempting to interfere in this match. But then, all of a sudden, he stepped aside as a smirk became present on Polar’s face. He moseyed over to Ken who was now wondering why the Korean Warrior didn’t raise Mezz’s hand a third time to ensure the victory. It all unfolded though as Kim Jin Gui signaled for the bell, calling for the end of the match.
DING, DING, DING!
Polar had bashed the unconscious Chris Mezz over the head with George. Thanks to disqualification, and Polar’s bribery to Kim to allow him to interfere, Ken Kaze had lost this match. He unleashed the submission hold and turned around in time only to see Polar walking up the ramp backwards, grinning.
The look on Ken’s face was apparent. He was pissed the [expletive deleted] off.
Winner: “Simply Crazy” Chris Mezz via DQ (Polar hitting Mezz with George the Trashcan)
Time: 10:42
